Been You

Chapter 11: Stay With Me

ELYSANDRA'S POV:

I'm coughing up water, my body soaking wet. I feel nothing but the cold linoleum floor and a warm hand on my bare skin. The warm hand belongs to Justin; he's rubbing my back as he looks at me with a worried expression, his honey colored eyes filled with pain. I try to figure out how I got here, choking on my bathroom floor, but the burning in my throats and nostrils won't allow me. Once my coughing subsides, Justin dries me off with a towel, and carries me to my bed. I'm shivering and sniffing. He pulls his hockey jersey over his head, and puts it on me. I pull my legs into it also, letting it engulf my entire body. It smells like him. He rummages through my drawers until he produces a fuzzy pair of socks, and slides them onto my feet, still not saying a word. He leaves through the bedroom door, but I still here him rummaging around in the kitchenette.

Alone in my bedroom, I'm finally able to piece together the events that landed me here. After leaving the ice rink, heartbroken, I began to walk home crying. Of course, with my luck, I was forced to walk in the rain. Once I reached my dorm, I was freezing, sad, and in need of comfort. So I grabbed my only wine glass and the cheap bottle of white wine that I bought with my fake ID, and drew a bath. After countless glasses of wine and countless tears, I must've dosed off in the tub, drowning. Justin must've found me. What if he thinks I did this on purpose? I mean, with the wine and the state I left him in earlier...

Justin returns to my bedroom with tea in my favorite mug. It's so big, it's more so a bowl instead of a mug. He hands it to me, the look of worry still covering his face, the silence still deafening. I finally break the silence, asking, "Would it be so bad?" my voice shaking. Not long ago he was asking me this same exact question.

A look of confusion flashes across his face before his voice, filled with pain, lets out, "Of course it would be that bad! I almost lost you for good, Ely! You almost died. You're the most important person in my life, and you're asking me if your death would really be that bad?" He stares at me intensely. He must've misunderstood my question. He definitely thinks I did this on purpose. But his yelling makes me afraid to try to correct him. His passion is one of his best traits, in my eyes. But at times like these, it can make things difficult.

"That's not what I meant," I softly whisper. His expression softens as well, as he realizes I was asking about us being together. If that would be that bad.

"No, Ely," Justin replies in a softer tone, looking down at his hands. "Anyone would be the luckiest person in the world to have you. I would be the luckiest person in the world to have you. I never believed I could be that lucky. I've been feeling this way about you for a while, but I wasn't ready to take the leap. Today when you told me how you feel, I still wasn't ready. Not many things scare me, but you did. But the one thing that scared me more was the thought of losing you. I almost lost you tonight. What you did here... this is my fault. I was to afraid to be real with you, and I pushed you to... that," he says, gesturing towards the bathroom.

"Justin," I say, choosing my words carefully. "I didn't do this. I mean, I did, but not like that. I wasn't trying to... you know. I just fell asleep," I explain softly, my throat still sore.

"But the wine..." he questions, still unsure.

"I had my heartbroken, and was drowning my sorrows in a few glasses of wine. It's not exactly suicidal, J," I say, feeling guilty when he winces at the word drowning. He looks at me with remnants of worry still on his face. Exhausted from all that today was, I slide over to the left side of my bed, resting my mug on my nightstand. I pat the space on my bed to the right of me, signaling Justin to get in. He complies. "Please stay the night; don't leave me?" I ask, feeling more vulnerable than ever.

Justin wraps his arms around me, his warmth soothing, his skin soft. "I wouldn't dream of it," he whispers in my ear. He kisses my forehead as I shut my eyes, curling my body into his.