the last petal ≫ c.h. (discontinued)

s e v e n t e e n

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After almost four hours on a plane, Michael, Katie, Calum, and I stepped into the airport.

We went to get our luggage and went outside to catch a taxi.

In the car, I was silently watching the surroundings passing by quickly. All I could think about was all the memories, good and bad, with Luke.

We passed the corner at which that he asked me to be his girlfriend. We passed the café where he told me about his past; his drug abuse, and his parent's horrible divorce.

He opened up to me about everything, or so I thought. But he never told me about the pain he felt inside, he never told me how sad he was.

Then we passed the beach where he told me he loved me for the first time, and I heard Katie sharply breathe in and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her look over at me.

"Carter..." She trailed off, seeing the tears in my eyes.

We had almost passed the beach, when suddenly I couldn't stand being cramped in this car anymore.

"Stop! Please, stop the car." I announce.

Calum and Michael exchange a confused glance, "What's wrong?" Calum questions.

The driver stops, and I instantly jump out of the car and sprint to the lake's shore.

Once I get to the edge of where the water meets the beach, I break down and fall to the ground.

I thought I could handle coming back, seeing all the places we went. But I can't, it's too soon for me.

I felt a hand on my back.

"I don't want to be here, I don't want to remember. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget all these painful memories, and forget how much I love him." I cried.

"I know Carter. You'll always miss him, and you'll always have him in your heart. You'll always love him." Calum said as he knelt beside me.

"I just can't believe he's gone." I whimpered. Calum carefully grabbed me and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry, you don't deserve this. I wish I could make you happy, but you have to let go and I can't do that for you."

I sobbed into his shoulder for a little while longer, and then I sniffled and looked him in the eye, "I'm ready to let go."

He studied my face for a minute before nodding and standing up, "Then we might as well get going."

I followed him back to the car, then we continued our journey to my house.

I silently sat and stared out the window.

All I can think is I don't want to let go.

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