October 12th.
Today is the day. I switch wards. I packed all day yesterday. Leo helped me. I changed out of the sweat pants and thick cotton sweater, for the first time. I even took a shower. A real one, not the ones where I had 15 minuets in the restroom altogether. But a nice long one.
My hair was pulled into a ponytail and I had on yoga pants, converse, a long sleeve pale orange tee, and my infamous Yale sweatshirt. I lugged my backpack and duffle bag down the hall. I know exactly where the ward is from previous experience. My Dad came to help me move my stuff, even though there wasn't much, as it was just clothing. He didn't even carry anything. I must have looked a bit crazy, as I still had the feeding tube in my nose.
We got the room number, and locate it. After a quick goodbye, my dad left. I was alone. I knock on the door, quietly. I felt a bit out of place here. Last time I was here, no one talked to me. I was alone. I had Charlie and Leo. And Dash. Then soon after, Jordi and Kara.
"Come in!" A voice yells, and I take a breath in. Exhale. Go on, Emma. Don't be afraid. I coach myself. I turn the handle and open the door. The first thing I notice is an older girl is sitting on a comfy looking chair in the corner. The other girl is sitting on her hospital bed, reading. The younger girl has a feed that's running through the clear tube in her nose.
"Oh hey. You must be Emma." The younger one nods.
"Yes, I am." I say shyly.
"I'm Anaya, that's Christine." The older one says, still picking at her nails. "That bed is yours, by the way." She points to an empty hospital bed.
"Okay." I say, and grab my bags. I quickly place my clothes in a cabinet that has also been deemed mine. Christine comes up to me, and smiles.
"Don't mind Anaya, she's a bit of a jerk anyways. All cool and hip at 18. Her newest 'Friend with Benefits' go down outside to smoke. And they do a line, maybe three. I don't even think she's gained an ounce since being here. But then there's the purging so, you know," She sighs, and I nod. "Anyhow, dinner is at 5:30. You have exactly 23 and and a half minuets and counting." I nod.
"And after dinner?"
"We go to art therapy. Then free time." Christine says, settling back onto her bed. I go on mine, and face her.
"What book is that?"
"It's actually a collection of classic horror stories, in honor of Halloween coming up. Right now I'm on 'Frankenstein'. It's a bit confusing at times, but overall great."
"Oh cool. My favorite is 'Turn Of The Screw'. I don't know, it's just very chilling. In a good way."
"Oh I like that one." I adjust the tube behind my ear.
"Dinner!" A nurse says, popping her head in. Anaya comes over and walks out, shortly followed by myself and Christine.
We follow the nurse to a small hallway that leads to a bigger room. There's a very long table at which twelve other girls are seated at. A few are my age, and the rest vary. Some older, some a bit younger. There's one girl who really strikes me, for she looks about 11, and she's a living skeleton.
I take my seat next to Christine, while Anaya goes to the end of the table. Black trays are sitting in front of us. The woman introduces herself as Amanda, and then introduces me. A few people nod my way. She goes over a few rules- 40 minuets for meals, 20 for snacks. The timer then starts for meals.
I uncover my plate. A grilled cheese is revealed with a creamy bowl of tomato soup. A side Caesar salad sits the the left of the soup. There's also a bag of apple slices, and some kettles chips. Oh Gosh. This is gonna be a rough 40 minuets.
After art therapy, I'm still shaken from dinner. I didn't finish my meal, only half the grilled cheese, and the salad. I had a chip or two. 1/8 of an apple slice. They said they would hook my feed up and I stayed in my room while everyone else went to a common room to play games. But I had my phone and book.
EC: Roth.
Read at 6:29LR: Chota.
EC: Super bored. Didn't finish my meal so I had to stay in room while everyone else is at game room.
Read at 6:31LR: want me to stop by? I finished my new round of injections. Free now.
EC: hope you don't mind.
Read at 6:32LR: not one bit.
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To Let Go
FanfictionEmma Chota is anorexic. No doubt about it. She was discharged wrongly from Ocean Park hospital, on account of false weight gain. Once she had a bad episode, she was readmitted. But that doesn't mean her mind is any better. After a Cardiac Arrest, an...