A Simple Folded Paper

34

The rest of the week was exactly the same. Nothing changed, not even Camila's behavior who continued to not paying any attention to her own girlfriend. Lauren felt pathetic, she just wanted back the times where she spent all of her time by herself, not caring about anyone. But Camila came into the fucking picture and Lauren now couldn't bear not having someone giving her attention, attention that she didn't know she needed until she didn't have it.

Lauren never wanted the weekend not to come as much as she did now. Her only time with Camila was during their lunch period and Camila would still act like everything was normal. For as strange as it sounds, Lauren pretended it too.

Lauren gave Camila 3 more days. If in the day that their relationship would complete 1 month, Camila hasn't changed her behavior, Lauren would have to take some drastic measures. And yes, she was really thinking about breaking up with Camila. That thought alone made her heart clench and tears forming in her eyes. She gave herself completely to that girl, in more ways that one, and what Camila breaks her heart like this? It was not fair, not at all. Maybe if Camila saw the risk of losing Lauren, she would actually change her behavior, but this was mainly Lauren dreaming.

~

"Camila, dinner is ready!", Camila heard her dad shout from the kitchen. She said goodbye to Jacob, who she was webcamming with, closed her laptop and made her way through the hallway until she was in the kitchen. The air was filled with the delicious smell of Mac and Cheese, but Camila just couldn't be excited about it. She didn't want to eat and fake smiles, laughs, and conversations with her dad, she just wanted to hide under her blankets, sleep and wishing that this was all a nightmare. "How was your day, kiddo?", the man asked as he finished filling their plates with the meal he prepared.

"Good". Shitty.

"Did you ask Lauren if she wanted to have dinner with us on Saturday?"

"Yeah, she said that she can't, she had a big test next week." Nope, not even bothered to ask, the last thing I want is for her to come over.

The rest of the dinner was made in silence. When they finished, Camila's dad just got up and left to the couch, leaving Camila to do the dishes by herself. When she finished, Camila went to her room and grabbed her notepad, she had a couple ideas for new lyrics.

I wish I could go back to when I was 12 years old,
the world was simple but I just wanted to grow up,
now I wish I wasn't dumb,
I wish I could go back to that age of gold.

You see, wisdom comes with experience,
there are no shortcuts in life,
we all wish life was simpler
but without hardness, it wasn't right.

Camila hummed a melody to herself, thinking about how the chorus would be. In seconds, she was writing frantically trying not to forget any of her ideas.

Close your eyes and breath,
the world is not against you,
if you want good things to come
you'll have to plant the seed.
Close your eyes, block every sound,
there's no safe place
but you have to keep your feet on the ground.

Please, please,
don't listen to the world,
I know that it was a lot easier when we were 12 years old,
but we grew up, we had to,
the world evolved, and so did you.
Stop the hating, live your life,
there are so many good things out there
you just have to roll the dice.

When she finished writing everything down, Camila looked at the clock. She still had an hour to spare until her dad was going to call her again, so she decided to watch a couple of 2 Broke Girls' episodes to try and cheer up a little. Which didn't work out.

~

Lauren had just laid on her bed. The extra blanket was useless, nothing could compare to Camila's warmth and Lauren was actually cold, so she got out of her bed and room, went to her sister's and pulled the kid to her own so they could sleep together. The warmth and comfort were not the same, but it was what Lauren managed to do with the conditions she was given.

When she could hear the soft snores of her sister, she couldn't help but think about Camila. How her mouth was ajar when she slept and sometimes she would drool. Camila always felt embarrassed by it when she woke up in the morning feeling her own drool, but Lauren always said that she found it cute. Lauren thought about how Camila clenched to Lauren's torso when she got cold during the night, how she would give Lauren a 30-minute rant about how she should wear socks instead of pressing her cold feet against Camila's and ruin the girl's warmth. Lauren remembered how Camila would say the strangest things in her sleepy daze when she was about to fall asleep, like the time that Camila was basically already asleep but still said something like "I'll just take a nap babe, I'll be at the restaurant in a few hours.". Lauren missed how Camila would caressed her cheek and collarbone while they laid in silence or how Camila would laugh wholeheartedly at her own jokes.

Was Lauren really willing to let that all go? But, in another point, she actually already did lose that so what was there to let go anymore? Just Camila herself and the babbling about random things and the greeting peck and the awkward conversations.  Why couldn't this be so much easier? They were not even dating for a month yet, Lauren didn't hope the honeymoon phase to fade this quickly nor that the relationship was going on this way. Two weeks ago, Lauren could easily picture herself spending the rest of her life with Camila - because let's be honest, if you can't, why are you even dating that person? - , with two kids, two dogs and a lazy and grumpy cat. Now? Now she couldn't even see herself have a normal lunch with her own girlfriend anymore.

Her sister shifted in her sleep and opened her eyes to meet Lauren's. 

"Lolo, why are you crying?", the kid asked.

Lauren didn't even realize that she was crying but cleaned her tears with the sleeves of her sweatshirt nonetheless. She was indeed crying, the sleeves now had several marks of water on it and anyone could easily say that she was crying hard. "It's nothing sweets, go back to sleep.", she said, giving her sister a fake smile trying to reassure her that thighs were fine.

"Is it because of Camila?"

Damn, that kid had an eye for those things. "Why do you say that?". Lauren was indeed interested in how her sister always seemed to know these things, so she wanted to see how the girl sustained her theories.

"She's not around anymore, I noticed."

"Yeah sweets, Camila is not around anymore and she probably won't again, but don't worry kiddo.", Lauren ruffled her sister's hair. "Now go back to sleep."

"Was it because of me? Did she not like me? Did I ruined it?", Hannah had tears start to fill the edge of her eyes as well and the sight broke Lauren's heart. "I'm sorry Lolo, I didn't mean it!"

"Hey, kid, it is not your fault, alright? You did nothing wrong and Camila likes you very much."

"Then why is she not around anymore? I miss playing hide and seek with her, she always loses because she can't be quiet.", the kid giggled and Lauren offered her a small smile.

"Camila is just having some things going on, maybe one day she'll come around once more."

"And then you will be happy again?"

Lauren bit her lip and brought her sister closer to her chest, giving her a tight hug. "I hope so."

~

A/N: What's wrong with Mila? Can you guess it? I'm sure you don't ;)

Today's song is Say You Like Me by We The Kings.

Currently falling asleep on top of my laptop, so I hope you liked it.