You're My Oxygen (Jalex)

Chapter 11

Alex POV:

I hate leaving Jack he is the one person I feel safe with. Every time he leaves my side during school my bullies always manage to catch up with me but Jack doesn't know. I know he already worries about me to much and I don't need him to worry any more. I shut my locker and safely make my way to third period sitting towards the back of the room like I do in every class. After third period I head to forth and then I make my way to fifth. One more period before I can see jack again. One more.

"Hey Gaskarth!" I stop dead in my tracks recognizing that voice as Chad Hillston. I try to continue walking but I'm stopped once again this time by a large firm hand placed on my shoulder. "Where do you think your going?" He asks as he turns me around so that I'm facing him. "I need to get to class" I say hoping this time he'll just let me go with a warning. "Do you think I really care?" I shake my head. I hate how he asks questions and I get yelled at and beaten for answering them. All of a sudden I feel a fist collide with my face and I stumble back falling on the floor. I hold my cheek and look up at Chad with a surprised face. He walks over to my and picks me up by my shirt so I'm half way off the floor half way on. "You know what Alex" He hits me again. "Your pathetic just like your brother" he hits me again. "But your not quite as smart. Him killing himself was best thing he has ever done but you can't seem to take the hint" I feel the blood running from my nose and mouth. "No one wants you around. Not your mom. Not your dad. Not your boyfriend. No one! Not even your own brother wanted to be around you" This time he kicks me making me curl up into a fetal position in an attempt to protect myself. "Why wont you just die" He hits me some more. "I know because your weak" he spits at me. He hits me again and again and again until he gets tired and leaves. 

Maybe Chads right. Maybe I should just end it all. End every ones suffering including mine. I would love to see Tom again.

I Get up holding my stomach and slowly make my way to the back entrance of the school. I walk out of the school and start walking home knowing what I'm going to do. About 10 minutes later I'm in my room holding a picture of Tom and I at the bridge where he died. I had thought of the bridge but I couldn't kill myself where Tom had killed himself I knew I would chicken out there. Tom and I look so happy in the picture it hurts. I look over my room one last time. The place that kept me safe for so long. What will my parents think and do when they find me. Will they be disappointed, hurt, mad, all of the above and more. That doesn't matter now i'm doing this for me. Then suddenly my phone goes off  pulling me from my thoughts so I walk over to my desk to look at it.

Jack: Hey Alex where are you I'm hungry :(

Jack: Alex?

Jack: Alex please answer please.

Jack: Alex I'm worried sick please. I'm coming to look for you.

Jack: Alex?!

Jack the boy I have come to love but I'll never get to tell him that I love him. I hope one day he will forgive me and understand. He has helped me through so much these last few months but me dying is inevitable. I want to do this. I need to. I move all of the junk that has collected on my desk and I sit down with a piece of paper and pencil. Tome wrote his letter to me the only person he loved so why don't I do the same. 

Dear Jack, 

When you read this I will be dead. I am writing this to you and only you because you are the only person I ever truly loved. I just want to thank you for everything you have done for me. I was hopeless and broken just know nothing could have saved me. And since I will never get to say this in person I Love You Jack Barakat and always will. I know we've only been dating for about a month and a half but I knew I loved you the moment you made laugh in the therapy office. You were the only person who could make me laugh after my brother died and I thank you for that. I need you to know this isn't your fault. I had to many demons to deal with and I didn't want to bother you with them. I just need you to know I want this and I need this and nothing was getting in my way. Just remember I Love You and always will.

                                                                                                                                                                                     Love Lex

I put the pencil down and fold the letter then write Jacky on the front of it and place it in the middle of the desk. I then look at my room once more before heading into my bathroom. I grab the blade from the sink and sit down on the floor against the wall. I hold the blade to my wrist vertically. I want this. I need this. I have to do this to make everything better. I slide the blade down my forearm with force and see the blood gushing out of my wound. I do it again going deeper. Then I switch the blade to my other hand repeating my actions from before. Seeing the blood felt good. This will show everyone. It will all be over soon. I feel the darkness coming for me but I don't fight it I welcome it. But before I blackout completely I say my last words. "Goodbye world. Goodbye" and with that I pass out hoping that what's on the other side Is much better than here.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know this is a really sad chapter guys but trust me the ending is much happier. Thank you for those of you who have stuck around this long and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and the rest of your day :)