Born To Lose (Frerard)

Chapter 2: Please, Don't Take This Out On Me

Chapter Title Credit: Bulls In The Bronx by Pierce The Veil

...

Third Person's P.O.V

"What the fuck Gerard?" A voice screamed sending a wave of piercing pain through his head.

Gerard could only turn his head and force a groan in response to the frantic voice.

His head was throbbing from where his skull had made impact with the concrete and he could feel his hands stinging harshly.

Gerard made a pathetic noise as he forced his eyes open, only to be blinded by the sun.

The light didn't last long however, the face of his baby brother stared down at him with wide eyes. Why is he on top of me?!

Gerard pushed his brother away and sat up, taking in his surroundings.

All eyes were on him and the school bus was only a few feet away from his body.

He could hardly process what had happened before Mikey started screaming at him again, "What the fuck?!"

The bus doors opened and most of the kids shuffled onto the bus without a word until-
"Mikey shouldn't have pulled him out of the way," a male voice sounded over the rumble of the bus engine.

"Shut the fuck up assholes!"

Gerard was startled and finally brought his gaze to his younger brother's, stunned he had said something to defend him.

"We're going home Gerard," Mikey stated firmly, holding a hand out.

Gerard stared at Mikey's boney hand as if it were a gun that had been pulled on him. He looked back to his brother's eyes untrusting.

Mikey's face was expressionless.

Gerard slowly extended his shaking hand to Mikey's, letting his brother haul him to his feet.

Without another word, Mikey scooped up Gerard's bag and the scattered supplies across the road.

The Bus driver hollered after them, but neither cared enough to turn around.

Maybe he's going to beat me up when we get back to the house, Gerard thought darkly, hanging his head. Maybe he's going to send me away to a mental institution. Gerard's thoughts swirled out of control and he could feel the building anxiety crawling under his skin.

He's going to have me committed.

Gerard felt the one emotion he hadn't in a long time: Fear.

He wasn't trying to kill himself but surely that's how everyone would take it. He was just trying to cross the goddamned street that he assumed was empty.

He hadn't heard the bus approaching over the sound of his music blasting in his ears and all he had been focused on was getting away.

Gerard's eyes were watering he realized with horror, quick to rub away the tears before they broke loose.

Mikey's eyes stayed glued to him but it remained silent.

Gerard wasn't sure what was worse; Getting screamed at or having this gut wrenching feeling of impending doom.

Their mother's car was already gone, much to Gerard's Relief.

With a click, the world was shut out by the front door.

"Gerard what the hell were you thinking?" Mikey demanded as Gerard shuffled into the living room, falling heavily onto the couch.

Keeping his eyes downcast, Gerard -like usual- didn't put any effort in to answer.

He hadn't spoken to his family since his failed suicide attempt and rarely would mumble a word or two to a 'friend'.

"What the fuck is your problem? Why are you always like this? You fucking slice up your arms, you sneak out to drink- probably at the graveyard too- I found drugs in your room last week- that's right, I fucking know- and now you go and step in front of a fucking bus?!" Mikey ranted, his face bright red.

I never chose to be a fuck up. I never meant to be a burden to you or mom.

"You're sick."

Gerard couldn't contain the anger towards his brother any longer; He was a fucking volcano, always on the verge of erupting- and now was his time to erupt.

"Like you have any right to fucking judge me! Like you're brother of the fucking year- my baby brother died to me along time ago-"

"Go to hell!"

"I'M ALREADY FUCKING HERE!!! NEXT TIME JUST LET THE FUCKING BUS HIT ME!"

Gerard shoved his brother out of his way and disappeared down the basement stairs, slamming the door behind him.