Born To Lose (Frerard)

Chapter 23:So Empty,So Used Up,So Let Down

-Chapter Title Credits:Riot by Three Days Grace-

"You have to promise you won't think differently about me."Gerard sighed looking at Frank with sad eyes.

"Gerard,"Frank stroked his cheek like he had done so many times before."I love you.Just tell me.I will never think of you differently."

Gerard nodded swallowing hard.

"Well uh.....My dad left after my mom gave birth to me.She was always upset about that....because I was a mistake.They didnt want me.So when I was four my mom sent me off to live with my Grandma.While I was living at my grandmas,my mom was trying to fix her relationship with my dad.My dad apparently had decided he wanted to start again and suddenly my moms pregnant with Mikey.So after she gave birth to him they started a family with just the three of them.All I had was my grandma for a year.I didnt even see of hear from my parents on my 5th birthday....but I didnt really care at that point because my grandma treated me better than anybody else.But uh..."Gerard looked down swallowing hard.

"She started getting sick.So I had to go live with my mom again.My dad left again.He didn't want to face the kid he had abandoned....anyway so me and my brother grew up together and we became really close.The only other person I was close with clearly was my grandma who I visited every weekend.Kids at school picked on me and made my life hell but It was okay because I had Mikey and my Grandma.But then around age 14 I just got so depressed wih everything and I started stealing wine from my grandmas.I felt so bad but alcohol helped.Well during all this bullshit,My grandma was getting sicker and sicker but she never told me.I was 16 when I got a phone call one night telling me my grandmas been hospitalized....she had cancer and she didnt tell me.I wanted to go to the hospital right away but my mom refused.The next morning when we finally got there it was to late.My grandma died.I was left to my depression and the need for alcohol sky rocketed.....There were....are.....voices inside my head sometimes...and I would see things alot.I couldnt sleep at night because I would hear the sound of growling and just all types of noises.Then when I opened my eyes sometimes I would see things and it was horrible.I ended up getting so bad with it that I was starting to think some of the things I were seeing were true.Thats when my mom dragged me out to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bipolar depression and schizophrenia....b-but im not crazy Frank...im not crazy."

Frank held him as he broke into tears muttering Im not crazy over and over again.

"Your not crazy Gerard.Is that what those pills you were fighting with your mom over are for?"

Gerard simply nodded in response.

"B-But I dont see things anymore.Only hear something on occasion.Im fine.I don't need medication."Gerard said quickly almost panicked.

"Sshh.Its okay Gerard.I believe you."

Gerard looked up at Frank through his blurred vision,"Please don't leave me."

"I could never do that.I love you."

Gerards lips broke into a smiled even though tears still blurred his vision.

Frank leaned in and pressed their lips together.

-HEHEHEHE.SOON.-ChemicalSkeleton