120 Days Left

VIII // CHAPTER EIGHT

This cannot be possible. 120 days? only 120?

that's like four months, we'll finish school in four months, we'll graduate after four months from now on..

I'll never graduate, I'll never go to Cambridge. After all these years of hard work I'll never be able a accomplish my dreams.

I'll never grow old, or have a family, or watch my kids grow right in front of my eyes.. I'll never get married and I'll never experience the fairytale that is called 'falling in love'

I couldn't handle it, so I ran out. I ran out of the hospital.

People were looking at me weirdly, I don't blame them I probably look like a mess right now.

My feet kept running, and I don't know where they're taking me but I never stopped. I wanted to be away from everything for a little while.

I found myself at my thinking place, the hidden beach. I sat down in the sand and tried to let everything sink in.

I'm dying.

Then the tears came out, all of the tears that I've held over the past year are escaping my eyes right now.

I still can't believe it..

I heard the ringing or my phone, so I took it out of my pocked and saw the caller ID. My mom.

I decided to not answer, but I sent her a text saying that 'I'm fine' so she would know that I'm okay, at least at this current moment.

A few hours passed by, and it's now 8 p.m. I just stayed here for hours straight, doing nothing but just staring into the ocean that is in front of me.

My phone rang again, so I decided to turn it off. I waited for it to stop ringing, but before I pushed the button to turn it off it rang again. It was Phoenix.

Probably wondering where the hell I am. We have a tutoring session by 5 and I always show up an hour earlier, it's 8 now so he probably called to ask why am I so late.

I waited for it to stop, eventually, it did. But then proceeded to ring again a second later. Phoenix again.

I gave up and decided to answer,

"Hello?" I said trying to sound as normal as possible, my voice is probably raspy from all of the crying.

"Violet where the hell are you? we're all worried sick!" He practicaly shouted through the phone.

"We?"

"Yes, we. We as in me, your mother, and our friends" He said.

"I texted mom before, and I'm fine don't worry, tell them to not worry too" I said trying to calm him down. why the hell was he angry?

"Violet I swear to god, where the fuck are you? someone could kidnap you or something are you out of your mind?" He said, slightly lowering his voice.. but it still counts as yelling.

"Phoenix I am fine. No one will kidnap me what are you talking about?" Who would even find me here?

"Violet please, where are you?" Okay, now he's calm. and that sentence came out as a whisper.

"I'll come home right now, just.. wait for me there." I said giving up. I'm in a hidden beach, he wouldn't know the place, I don't even know the exact directions to it.

"I'll come and get you, ju-"

"It's okay Phoenix, I'm on my way" I said.

"Okay, be careful.."

"Sure."

And with that I hung up, great, now I have to explain a lot of things to him, Dylan, and Asher. I shook that off and got up and started walking to the main street. Got a taxi and gave him my address.

Meanwhile, I just watched the people and the buildings pass by from the window.

What will I say to them? 'Hey I'm sick, like, very sick. And the doctors believe that I only have 120 days left before I die.'

I really don't want to face anyone. I just want to lock myself in my room until that day comes. But I guess that never works.

Finally I'm home, and sitting in my doorstep is no other than Phoenix. I quickly paid the driver and went to Phoenix.

"See? I'm all fine, no scratches or anything" I told him.

"Violet what's wrong? I know there's something wrong but no one wants to say anything, I came here a few hours after school only to find your mom, Rose, and Nathan crying" He said and looked at me weakly.

"Phoneix.. nothing is wrong. Just some stuff going on with my life, it's nothing" I sat down beside him.

"You know you can tell me anything, I'm always here for you" He said.

I didn't know what happened, but I cried. Like, fully cried.

He is sweet enough to care about me like that, and here I am hiding lots and lots of secrets from him. We've only known eachother for a month now, but it seems as if I've known him my whole life.

We stayed at my doorstep for a little while, he held me and stroked my hair, trying to calm me down.

It was dark, and silent. The only sound was my heavy breathing.

"Everyone left, and your mom is sleeping right now. We were all here a few hours ago. Your mom said something to Nathan and Rose, Rose started crying and suddenly left. Nathan was dead silent then he soon followed her. Asher went out to look for you for a few hours. Dylan stayed with your mom and I kept checking if Asher found you or not." He explained. Rose.. She hates talking about this, she's probably afraid of me dying.. more than I'm scared for myself.

"Whatever is happening Violet, I won't pressure you to tell me. But I want you to know that I really care about you. I'm not as bad as our school portriates me.."

If he only knew that I'm dying..

"I'm really sorry Phoenix. I really am.." He has no idea.