Troye's pov
"Things are looking up, Suze, everything feels okay."
"No more impulsive thoughts?"
"No more... unless it's for sweets." I break out smiling, making her lips twitch up a bit.
Oh, how she tries so hard to be a professional.
"Very good. How about jobs?" She questions.
My leg bounces on the floor in excitement, "We're both good. I got accepted as a delivery boy and Jake was accepted at both a diner and coffee shop. He's still deciding."
She hums in approval, scribbling down on her many sheets of paper.
"Sounds wonderful. Are you looking forward to a career in postal service? This what you wanna do?" Susan asks.
"Yes, it sounds perfect. If I don't like what I'm assigned I can always ask to try different parts of postal work. I start on Monday." I chirp.
"Very well. I'm proud of you. Life at home going well?"
As if she had to ask.
I wave her off, "Great as ever. It's in the air that we might move soon."
"Jacob thinks that's the biggest step into adulthood you can take and I can't say I'm not tired of trying to get him alone more often. It's just a thought right now." I add, backing myself up a bit.
She nods, "Is it something you want to do?"
"Mhm, I was looking at places last night when I couldn't sleep," I admit.
She looks up from her papers to give me such a genuine heartwarming smile that makes me feel all fuzzy inside.
"Well, I wish the very best for you. The both of you."
...
"What are you doing?" Jake asks as he walks in our room.
I'm stood by my wall with a box and hammer.
"Changing." I simply murmur, setting the hammer down on the desk and turning back to the wall.
I step closer and pick up my painting of yellow daisies, holding it to my chest and kissing the top of the canvas. I set it down in the box and pick up another piece while Jacob sits down on our bed. He doesn't question me, just watching and cracking a smile every time I glance back at him. One by one I take my paintings off of my pretty pink wall and set them in the big box on the floor.
Once the box is filled to the top and the only pictures left are of Dyl, my clouds Jacob wrote his number on, and my piece from the academy's art competition, I stand back. I nearly jump out of my skin as Jacob wraps his hand around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder. I relax and gulp nervously, knowing this is it. This is my last goodbye.
"Can I have a moment?" I ask, running my fingers over his arm.
He nods and lets go, "Mhm, want me to go in the other room?"
"No," I'm quick to mumble. Being alone for a last goodbye isn't healthy, at least not for me.
"Alright, sweetheart. Do what you have to."
I nod, breathing in deeply and stepping forward away from him.
"When I met you, I wish I hadn't. When you left, I wish you hadn't. When's, if's, and wishes don't help anymore but I still think about them. I'm glad you found your peace, even if it was in the worst way possible. I wish you hadn't but I'm glad you did. You did it all on your own. I wish someone could've helped you find it in another way but I've come to terms with the fact that no one and nothing could've stopped you besides a psych ward. I've healed from the loss you left me with, I've rebuilt my anchor and filled myself up with a new kind of love. And it's not wrong of me, I know it isn't. I was allowed to move on, no one and nothing would stop me. I wouldn't let myself fall back into a pit of despair. You helped me realise a lot and though I'm not sure if you can hear me, I hope your spirit does. I just wanna thank you and- a-and I wanna say my last goodbye."
"To my lost boy, I'm sorry I couldn't find you in time. But I know now that the lost never wanna be found until it's too late. That- it's okay now. I'm not mad or upset with you anymore. Just one more hug and you're gonna stay with Dad, alright? He's sweet, doesn't talk much when he's alone and I'm sure you'll get tired of his constant knuckle cracking, but he's sweet. Won't throw you out or nothing." ... "I promise."
Wrapping my arms around the painting, I sigh and kiss the top.
A Last Goodbye.
"Goodbye Dylan."
I set the painting in the box and take the last two down, setting them on my cluttered desk. Picking up the hammer, I pull the nails out of the wall with the back of it and set them on my desk. Once I'm finished, I turn back to Jacob to see him already in bed, seeming to have been waiting for me.
When he makes grabby hands at me, I crawl into bed and find my place right in between his legs. I set my chin down on his chest and look up at his pretty hazel eyes.
"I don't understand your eyes." I mumble, making him look down and tilt his head to the side.
"What do you mean?"
I prop my chin up on my hand and hum lightly, "They're green but they're brown but they're like jet black but then they're like emeralds and I don't understand them."
"They're just eyes, baby." He murmurs, leaning down and bumping his head against mine.
I lean up until his touch and tilt my jaw up, pecking his lips and settling back down.
"They're not just eyes to me. They tell me what you're thinking when you won't. All the secrets and emotions you don't tell me, they do. I'm pretty sure those wild pupils of yours are what gave you away first. You look at me and they're huge like a kitty's when they're excited. You look away and zoom, back to normal-"
"That's because I love you, duh. I read somewhere your pupils dilate when you look at the person you love." He so innocently interrupts, smiling down so proudly at me.
I can't help but smile right back at him, "I was getting to that. But yes, your eyes are either my best friend or my worst enemy, so tricky."
"And don't you say they're just eyes," I add.
He sets his hands on my hips and pulls me up against his body until we're face to face.
"What's important to you is important to me, even if it as silly of a thing as my eyes." He pauses, "And I like your pretty little ones too."
"Your pretty little baby blues that still twinkle when you're really excited or happy. They way they get watery at the sides when you laugh and how they get so red and dazed when you're drunk. My favourite is when you're coming down. When they look so out of touch with your body and mind, simply just lust and bliss swirling around in them. Beautiful." He whispers, the two of us laid there with our hands on each other's faces as we exchange small head bumps and butterfly kisses.
"I love you," I utter against his lips.
He curls his thumb over my cheek, "I love you too."
I lean back a bit and roll over onto my side next to him. He turns with me and rests his head on his arm.
"Tired?"
"Mhm," I hum, running my fingers up his back and to his neck. I curl them into his hair and let out a small yawn, hiding my face into the pillow as I do so.
Jake chuckles lightly, "Let's get some sleep, conquer the heck out of tomorrow."
He pulls our blankie up over us and up to about our necks, making me wiggle around until just my eyes are peeked out.
"The heck out of it!" I mumble sleepily.
He nods, "Mhm, goodnight babe."
I roll over and back up into his chest, smiling to myself as he wraps an arm around my waist and sneaks it under my shirt. I kiss his arm and find myself starting to doze off.
"Na-night daddy."
