Camp for the Emotionally (Un)Stable || Lams

Chapter Eight: Awkwardly Living Together

Laurens|First Person

When Alexander wakes up I'm already dressed and standing over on my side of the cabin, trying to fix my hair. He rolls over, looking at me blankly.

"What time is it?" He mutters, rubbing his eyes. I glance at my watch, eight-fifteen. I straighten out my shirt, trying not to look at his tired face or messy hair.

"Breakfast is in fifteen." He nods, stumbling out of bed to stand and stretch his arms above his head, effectively revealing a strip of skin over the top of his pajama pants. I quickly avert my eyes, shoving my feet into my sneakers. "You gonna be alright here, or should I wait for you?" I ask without looking up. He waits a beat before answering.

"No, I'll uh...I'll be good. You go." His answer sounds shaky but I don't think I can watch him undress without completely losing it. I nod and open the door to the cabin to breathe in the scent the storm left behind. I try to relax as I walk down to the mess hall, but feel like someone is pressing back on my chest harder with every step I take.

When I get to the hall I sit at the table Peggy and I had seemingly claimed a while back. She's already up getting food, but gives me a half smile when she looks over and sees me. I nod back and set my head on the table, trying to sort through my emotions.

"You're not eating?" Peggy queries as she nears the table. I shake my head.

"Too stressed," I mutter back.

"Here." She sets something in front of me. "What's wrong?" I lift my head to see a poppyseed muffin sitting before me. My stomach churns at the thought of eating it. 

I shake my head and look at her instead. "You know my crush?" She nods, her mouth full of the waffle she's eating. "Well it's become a bit of an issue." The mess hall is bustling with people, but I still look up when the door opens and Alexander walks in.

"Who's your crush, John?" Peggy asks suspiciously. I don't answer, just stare up at Alex as he stands in the back of the long line for breakfast. She twists around to see what I'm looking at and turns back with a big grin on her face. "You like Alex, don't you?" She smiles proudly as I nod reluctantly.

"Yes, and we slept together in his bed last night, Pegs. His bed," I hiss at her as she chews on her breakfast thoughtfully.

"I need more details."

I sigh and press my hands to my face. "Well apparently he's really scared of storms, and he was all stressed out and sitting on the floor by himself, so I came over and sat with him. Then, when the thunder started he was crying and shaking so I, like, I don't know...held him?" I say, though it comes out like a question. "Then I thought he was asleep so I tried to get up, but he asked me to sleep with him."

She nods, taking this in. "What did you do this morning?"

I sigh. "When I woke up he was still asleep, so I got up and got dressed. When he woke up I asked if he wanted me to stay and wait for him and he said no." Her eyes widen and she leans in.

"Really?" She asks. I nod nervously, unsure of where this is going. "That's like having sex with someone and never calling them back." She rolls her eyes dramatically, giving me a look of disapproval.

"I didn't have sex with him," I tell her, feeling desperate as I try to redeem myself. I know it was sort of a douchey move, but what else was I supposed to do? She gives me the bitch face that it seems every Schuyler sister has perfected as I look up to see Alexander nearing. "He's coming."

"We aren't done." She tells me, then puts on a smile to greet him.

"Hi guys." He looks between us before sitting down across from me. "What're you talking about?"

"Nothing," I answer quickly so Peggy can't butt in.

He hums, looking down at the girl beside him. She shrugs and goes back to her waffle without a word. I relax a little, now knowing that she isn't going to rat me out. "Is that all you're eating?" He asks, glancing at the muffin still untouched before me. 

I shrug, staring down the food. "I don't feel very well," and it's not really a lie. My stomach is twisting as I look up at him and my hands shake a little. 

"I didn't keep you up last night, did I?" He gives me an apologetic look, causing Peggy to raise an eyebrow at me. I shake my head quickly, biting back a smile at how he had felt, lying on my chest. 

"No, you were fine." He nods and looks down, picking at the waffle on his own plate. "So, Peggy," I start, trying to fill the silence that had begun to plague that air around our table. The younger girl perks up after looking over Alexander with a worried expression. "How're things with you and Maria?" I ask, causing her to blush and smile a little. Alex looks up from his food that I doubt he'll eat any of. 

"They're ok," she says vaguely. "She wants to meet my sisters though." She makes a face, glancing over at the table where Angelica and Eliza sit with Hercules and Lafayette. Eliza is talking excitedly, her hands waving around. Angelica looks a little better than she has in the past, her hair secured in a ponytail and half of the food on her plate eaten. 

"Are you going to tell them about her?" She looks down at the table. 

"I don't know yet. She wants to go to the beach today and meet some of my friends." She shrugs and looks around the room for a moment before looking back at me. 

"I could come with you...if you wanted." Alex chimes in beside her and she visibly brightens. 

"Really?" She beams, smiling over at him. He nods and picks up a grape that sits on his plate. He rolls it through his fingers for a moment before replacing it without putting in his mouth. I sigh to myself.  Do I have to make sure everyone in this camp is still eating?

"Sure," Alex says. "What time?"

She grins and feeds Alex the rest of the details, asking if I'd want to come as well. I make up some excuse about meeting with Mrs. Washington that they seem to buy. I feel a little guilty for lying, but I think it'd be worse for me to try to hang around Alexander any longer than necessary.