Camp for the Emotionally (Un)Stable || Lams

Chapter Sixteen: I Don't Think It Works That Way

Hamilton|First Person

It's way past curfew, and all five of us are crammed into mine and John's cabin. We're huddled on the ground, leaning against my bed while Angelica and Peggy lie on each other on John's across from us. Aaron just sits on the floor between Angelica's feet. They're all talking without any real context. They bounce from subject to subject, going from giggling to serious in what seems like seconds. John is slowly coming back to his normal self after his weird mood yesterday. We had camped out all today in our little cabin, making Peggy bring us his food to share. She sat with us for a while, but eventually had some camp activity to attend to. John and I have pretty much blown off any schedule this camp offered, sleeping in and playing cards most of the day. 

Of course there was the added bonus of the occasional make-out session that John seemed to like to spring on me. It's especially common when I'm winning during a game. It's his form of bribery is what he tells me. Either way is fine by me. I smile up at him now, watching his lips move as he says something that makes Peggy laugh. I sigh, lying my head on his shoulder. 

"Tired?" John asks, picking up my hand and playing with my fingers. I shake my head, though I shut my eyes for a moment. He chuckles lightly. 

"So what do you think of Meadowview, Alex?" Angelica pipes up from across the room. I look over to see her tapping Aaron's head with her feet, causing him to scowl unconvincingly and trap her ankles in his hands. Peggy reaches over with the tip of her toes and nudges his hand.

"It's different than what I thought," I say truthfully. I got the vibe that this camp would be completely packed with group therapy and a ton of motivational counselors. I'm sort of glad that it isn't though, my whole life has sort of been different school therapists and medications. 

"What were you expecting? Less gay?" John asks, kissing my cheek and winking. I roll my eyes as Peggy giggles and Angelica cracks a smile. 

"Something like that," I tell him. He only grins and pokes my nose. 

"This year has definitely been the best so far, I'll admit that." The rest of the group nods at John's words. 

"We haven't told Eliza yet, but I don't think our dad wants us coming back next year." Angelica frowns a little, Peggy nodding solemnly next to her. 

"What about you, Alex? Am I gonna have to go without you next year too?" John asks. He tries to smile, but I can tell he really just wants me to confirm that I won't be leaving him. 

"I'll come back if you do, Johnny." I smile for him, not really sure if I actually will. I can at least pretend for right now though, but the truth is that my life at home really doesn't have too much structure. This camp was an escape from God. John smiles still, tightening his grip on me. 

"I say we all exchange phone numbers now." Peggy declares, making my chest tighten as Angelica leans over to retrieve a notebook from her bag. She uncaps her pen and starts to scribble on the page. John glances down at me, shooting me a concerned look. 

"I don't have a phone," I shrug. He smiles a little. 

"That's ok, what about a Skype?" I nod. 

"I don't know how often I'll be able to use it though," I say reluctantly. I don't have too much in the way of technology. 

"Well, where do you live? I can always come visit." He keeps his smile plastered on, probably to make me feel better. He's talking sort of quietly now, directing his words to only me. The girls and Aaron are busy discussing something else, not paying attention. 

"Northern California." 

"Ok, I can borrow the car and come visit you. See, no problem." He kisses the top of my head. 

"I don't know how long I'll live there though," I admit quietly. 

"What do you mean? Your parents move around a lot?" I shake my head. My parents are dead. 

"Foster kid," I say simply, though he seems to get the message. He nods and brushes his hand up and down my back soothingly. 

"We'll figure it out. Just write down your Skype name." 

The notebook is passed over to John and I and we write down our information. John gives me his and the Schuyler's address too, in case it comes down to sending letters. I don't really care at this point, it all seems like too much of a hassle. By this time next year they'll all have probably forgotten about me. John will make new friends, I'll just be some summer fling. 

Still, I humor him. I let him tell me he'll figure it out. I know deep down that it's just really not worth it though. I can only enjoy this right now, then in a couple of months I can move on with a new life. A new family, new town, new me. 

Sort of short so I'm going to try for a double update.
<3