Alone

Unwanted

   We drive to Tyler's house in silence. When we get there, both of Tyler's parents are at work still. I head straight to my room,  not wanting to talk to anyone. I pick up Candy,  petting her while she curls up in my lap. I stick in my ear buds and listen to NF,  my favorite song artist.

   I lay down and start to drift to sleep.

                         ***

   I'm awaken from my sleep by a knock on my door. I sit up,  pulling out my ear buds. "Come in, " I say,  but it comes out quieter than I meant it to.

   Tyler walks in,  looking a little awkward. I realise that I must look like crap, because I just woke up. "hey,  sorry if I just woke you up,  but it's around lunch time and I was wondering if you were hungry?"

   "Um...yeah I'll have something to eat. I'll be down in a minute."

   He nods his head and walks out, closing the door quietly behind him. I get up and go to my bathroom. I brush my hair,  which is a mess, then I slip on a hoodie. I put some food down for Candy,  then walk downstairs. As we are eating,  we hear the door open. Ms. Smith walks in. She looks confused.

   "why are you kids home so early?" she asks,  but directing the question at Tyler.

   "Um..." he glances at me before finishing his sentence. "Summer didn't feel well,  so I took her home." he says.

   "Oh..well that's unfortunate. At least we get to go shopping early. Go get ready." she says to us.

   I go upstairs and fix up my makeup a bit,  then put on my sneakers. We all walk out to the car. "You can sit in the front," Tyler's says to me,  opening the door to get into the back seat.

   "No," Ms. Smith says,  catching us both off guard. "Foster children aren't allowed to sit upfront. That's a law. "

   That's a stupid law, I can't help but think. I get out of the front seat,  irritated. I don't look at Tyler as I walk by him, but I know that he is looking at me with pity. On the way there it's mainly just Tyler and his mom talking,  although Tyler does try and include me in the conversation multiple times.

   We finally get there,  and we head into forever 21 first. Tyler looks uncomfortable, and tries to make an escape. He starts walking out of the store. "Get back here Tyler!" his mom says,  and he turns around,  this guilty look on his face that makes me laugh. He walks back over,  his hands shoved in his pockets.

   "You think that's funny?" he asked,  a playful smirk on his face. The way he said it made butterfly's appear in my stomach. I nod my head,  smiling up at him. "well you know what else is funny?" he says. I cross my arms. "what?" I ask. "Your height, " he says. He laughs at the face I make at him.

   "You know what's even funnier?" I say. "What?" he says teasingly. "Your life, " I say laughing,  running away from him. "That's it,  I'm gonna get you now shorty, " he says and grabs me by the waist,  picking me up with ease. He starts tickling me,  and I squirm around laughing,  trying to get away from him. He finally puts me down,  and I breathe heavily for air.

   We look over to see Ms. Smith frowning at us. "That wasn't very nice of you to say to my son," she says to me. "It was only a joke, " I say back,  not seeing why she is so upset. She crosses her arms. "I think you owe him an apology" she says.

   "Mom,  it was only a joke," he says. She shakes her head and looks a me sternly,  waiting for me to apologize. Why is she so mean to me? She knows it was just a joke. Why does she always have to point me out? Doesn't she know that I've already been through enough?

   I fight the tears that threaten to spill. I feel humiliated as I look up at Tyler through blurry eyes. "I-I'm sorry, " I say,  my voice shaky as I look into his eyes. He tightens his jaw and shakes his head in anger as he stares at his mom,  obviously mad for what she did. I look at the ground,  and wipe at my eyes,  not letting the tears spill in public.

   We continue on through the mall,  stopping at a shoe store. Tyler is checking out some black and blue Adidas. He takes off his shoe and puts them on. "What do you think?" he asks me. "I like them, " I say,  admiring them.

   He grabs the same kind,  only smaller. "Try them on, " he insisted. I sit next to him and take off my shoes. My feet are extremely small compared to his. I put on the shoes he gave me. They were too big. "My god,  you have the tiniest feet I have ever seen." he says while looking for a smaller size for me. "Get me a three in kids," I say. He raises his eyebrows at how small that is,  but follows my command.

   I put them on and they fit perfectly. I smile at our matching shoes. He gets up and leaves for a few seconds. When he comes back he is holding something behind his back,  and smiling down at me. "what?" I say. He sits down next to me and hands me an Adidas hoodie to match our shoes. Three dark blue stripes in the middle, the background black. I smile and slip it on to see if it fits. It was a tad bit big but I liked it. I look at him to see that he is also wearing the same hoodie. I laugh at him. He looked hot like that. I loved that we matched.

   Ms. Smith walked over. "Find everything you want Tyler?" she asked. "Yeah, we both did, " Tyler says,  standing up. I stand up too,  so she can see that we match.

   "Oh,  sweetheart, you already used up your money for the week." She says to me,  pointing to the single shirt I had in the cart. Tyler had a lot of shirts and so did Ms. Smith. "My... My money for the week?" I ask quietly. "Yes honey,  we only get paid so much to take care of you." she said.

   We only get paid so much to take care of you. Then it dawns on me. She only wants me for the money.

   I feel myself start to shake and my vision starts to blur. It gets harder for me to breathe. Unwanted. Used. Alone. Everything starts to get black as I can hear Tyler arguing with his mom. I let the peaceful darkness take me as I feel my legs give out beneath me.