Alone

f*cked up

Kylie's POV.

   "We are going to have to end the search within an hour, I'm sorry ma'am."

   "What do you mean you're sorry!? We cant just stop looking!" I scream in anger.

   "He has been gone for over two months. He is not within the state, and if we don't find him soon, I'm afraid we cannot help you anymore. We are only permitted to search within the state, so otherwise you would need to get the FBI involved. Honey, I'm sure he's fine. If he wanted to come back, he would."

   "You are a f*cking lunatic you big eared, *ss headed b*star-"

   "Security please escort her out. Thanks for your cooperation miss, we will contact you if we find anything."

   "Are you f*cking serious?!?" I scream at the officer while two men carry me out of the police department.

   "This is absurd! I'm not a d*mn dog, put me down NOW!" I screech loudly, and they do as I say, but by then I'm outside the building. I sigh in a frustrated tone and return home. My mom knows I've been upset so when I got there she was cooking my favorite dinner.

   "Sweetheart dinner is almost ready, how did it go? Any news?" My mom says, setting plates out.

   "Horrible. I'm not hungry," I say as I stomp up the stairs. I know shes trying to help but I just can't right now. I messed up so bad. I gave him all that crap and I didn't even realise what was happening to him at home. I'm such a f*cked up person.

   As soon as my body hits the bed I start to shake with tears running down my face. I'm never gonna see Ryder again. He's gone. And its all my fault.

   I pull up the video on YouTube of me going off at him. My vision becomes blurry as I watch, and my throat hurts as I hold in the sobs.

   "F*CK!" I scream as loud as I can, causing my throat to go raw. I throw my phone at the wall, making a dent and probably cracking the phone. I soon hear knocking on the door, and my mom trying to open the door.

   "Honey! Are you okay?! Let me in!" She says as she jiggles the door nobody frantically.

   "Leave me alone!" I scream between sobs, "I deserve to die, I'm such a worthless wh*er, mom its all my f*cking fault!" I cover my ears as my mom is talking frantically and still trying to get in. "Its all my fault," I whisper repeatedly to myself, before falling into a death-like sleep.

                           ***

   I wake up on my floor, light pouring in. my body aches horribly as I get up. I reach for my phone, which as expected, is cracked badly. Its only 6 am, and I can smell my mom making breakfast. I pull on a hoodie, and throw my hair into a bun.

   "Baby?" My mom walks towards me as I come down the stairs. "Oh Kylie," she whispers while pulling me into a hug. "I know its hard, I know. believe me. It will get better."

   "Mom..I can't.." I choke out, feeling tears rise once again. My mom shushes me though, and I suddenly feel so grateful of her.

   "You can stay home. I'll take off work." she says, walking back to the kitchen.

   "No mom, I'm gonna go to school." She looks at me, confused. "I need to talk to my friends about this. I just...I cant be alone right now."

   "I see. Go get ready."

   Wearing what I have on, I skip breakfast and walk to school, music blasting in my ears. My fingers glide against the cracks on my phone. Soon enough, I arrive to school. I'm early, and I sit on a bench outside. I lean back and close my eyes.

   "Hey," someone whispers in my ear as I feel a tap on my shoulder. "Wake up silly," I open my eyes, and to my surprise, I see no other than Ryder himself.

   "Oh my god, you're okay!" I say, reaching out to hug him. I stumble over my words, trying to get everything out at once. " I'm so sorry Ryder. I didn't mean to hurt you, I was mixed up, I thought you were f*cking with me, I just, I didn't realise what you were going through, and its all my fault and I'm so-"

   He cuts me off, gently placing his lips on mine. "Shhhh. I'm here now. I'm yours. Its gonna be okay now."

   I feel tears run down my face as he entwines his hand in mine. "I thought I lost you."

   "Kylie. you did." He whispers in my ear.

   "What?" I say, jerking away.

   "Kylie!" He yells in my ear.

   "What?!" I say, confused.

    "Kylie! Kylie!" he says loudly, getting up. He turns away from me.

   "Don't leave me!" I yell after him, and I try to get up, but he's suddenly so far away. "Come back!"

   "Kylie!" My eyes flick open, and before I know it I'm on the ground. I look up and see that I'm at school. I wipe my eyes, realising I was crying. It was a dream...f*ck.

   "Ryder?" I whisper anyway, hoping he's here.

   "I'm here," I hear a deep voice whisper from behind me.