Alone

I'm broken too...

Ryder's POV.

   It's Monday. I can barely even stand, much less go to school. But, I'm forced to go. I put on all black...ripped jeans(as usual), a black band T-shirt, a black and grey hoodie, and a black beanie. I put on my converse, and make sure my lip ring isn't infected. I'm good for now.

   Instead of being loud going down the stairs, I try my best to make no noise so I don't wake anyone up. It's hard, cause I'm limping bad now. My ankle is so messed up...I grab a granola bar, although I'm not hungry.

   I seriously don't wanna go to school...I'm in so much pain. I got it bad last night, real bad. My face looks like trash, and I don't even wanna look at the rest of my body. I was getting ready to meet up with Kylie, trying to look decent. But stupid me, I forgot to lock my door as I got ready.

   He came in, angry for me "Snitching" and not opening the door the other night. I tried to get past him, tried to run out the door, but his drunk *ss wasn't having it. I tried to fight him back, but he's a f*cking strong bast*rd. I don't remember much, he was beating me senseless until he finally slammed my head into the wall, causing me to go unconscious, and making huge a f*cking hole in my wall.

   I grab my skateboard, walking out the door. It was useless even trying though, with my sh*tty ankle and my killer headache, I could barely even walk. I pick up my skateboard, and start my painful journey to school. I few guys walking by started making fun of me for looking like crap and hobbling like an old b*stard. I normally would have beat their heads in, but I couldn't really argue with them.

   I finally get to school, about a half hour late. I walk to class, feeling drained. When I walk in, all heads snap towards me, but I couldn't give less of a sh*t. I'm late, they'll get over it. The teacher starts scolding me for being late, but gives up when she realizes I'm not listening to her stupid *ss.

   I take a seat and ignore all the whispers and glances. I barely got any sleep last night, so might as well get some now. I lean back in my chair, blocking everyone out.

***

   I wake up to the bell ringing, and I quickly get up and go to my locker. As I was walking, or at least trying to, I see Kylie. She's walking the opposite way, so towards me. I force a smile onto my face and make eye contact with her. Her eyes meet mine, and hurt flashes in her eyes, and she walks past me quickly.

   I stop walking, and people start shoving past me. I turn my head, my forced smile falling from my lips. I look over my shoulder as I watched her walk away. Is she mad at me? Is it for yesterday? I was about to go after her, when someone shoves me hard from behind.

   "Keep moving!" they yell as I stumble forward, my ankle and shoulder blade screaming in pain. I blink hard and keep walking. I'll talk to Kylie at lunch about it, I'll tell her I got busy. I see Tyler and I quickly avert my eyes from him. I used to feel equal to him, but now I just feel...lesser. I kind of feel lower than everyone, honestly. He left me when I really needed him. What a friend.

   Finally lunch comes around, and I see Kylie. I walk as quickly as I can towards her. "Hey Kylie," I say, and she turns around. She searches my face, probably noticing all the new bruises, but she doesn't ask me what happened like I thought she would. I pull my beanie a bit farther down, hoping it covers the gash on my head.

   I force that smile again, but I can't make any teeth this time, it's too hard. I give her a small smile, and I open my mouth to say something. I notice that look in her eyes again, and she looks away from me.

   "What's up?" she says quietly.

   "Um..I just wanted to apologize for yesterday, I got busy and-" her eyes snap towards me, wide with furry.

   "You're sorry? Is this some kind of joke? I don't think you realised, but I was really looking forward to that, to hanging out with you! You stood me up, and I sat there waiting, because I thought you were different. I thought you were different Ryder, but you're just like everyone else," she says pain written all over her face, and I feel guilt consume me.

   "I was going to come, I just-" I start.

    "You just what? Forgot? Yeah, that's what I thought. I sat there waiting for hours, and you.." she says, then looks down, wiping her eyes.

   "Kylie," I say softly and reach out to hug her. Her hand suddenly fly's up, and before I know it she slaps me across the face, hard. Bill flashes through my mind, and for a second I feel fear.

   "Don't touch me you worthless piece of sh*t," she says, her words hurting me more than she probably expected. She runs away, wiping tears from her face. I look around at all the faces that have turned and were watching the whole thing. I catch Tyler's eye, and he just shakes his head, looking away from me.

   I walk slowly out of the cafeteria, my heart aching. I hurt her, and that hurts me. I didn't mean to leave her there, I wanted to see her, I did. But it's all my fault, I should have left earlier so I could avoid Bill, I should have fought him back harder, I should have...ugh...

   I walk into the bathroom, and to my luck no one is there. I let the voices and flash backs flood my mind, not having the effort to push them away. I couldn't get Kylie out of my head, saying those words, just like everyone else did. Worthless price of sh*t. How many people have said that? Mom? Dad? Bill? Every other freaking kid at school?

   The only person who ever cared about me was Amelia, and I couldn't even save her. I let her go. I grab a razor from my backpack, and begin cutting my pain away. I wish each cut will erase the memories, will fix everything.

   If I could fix one thing Kylie, it would be hurting you. I would never intend to hurt you, but that's all I seem to do lately. Everything I touch breaks, but that's only because I'm broken too.

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   Sorry it's sad! I was listening to slow music in the dark so...guys please leave recommendations! Who's POV do you want hear next? Summers? Tyler's? I don't know! Please give me tips of what to write about and what you wanna read. Don't forget to comment and vote, thank you all for reading! I love you all!