Save Her (Daniel Howell)

Chapter 19; Lost For Good?

P. O. V. Bailey
Dan took off down the stairs, and I heard him mumbling to himself, although I couldn't make out what it was. When Dan was out of sight I sighed, defeated, and shut the door. I turned, and walked back to the girls, plopping on the couch next to Shawna. I messed with the hem of my pajama shirt and stared at the floor.

I felt a hand rest on my knee and give it a light squeeze. I looked up, seeing Louise giving me a sad smile. "It'll be alright. Dan will come around in his own time." She said.

I nodded, sitting up straighter and facing the girls.

"It's okay, Bailey. Tell us how you're feeling. We are all here for you, love." Hazel said.

"It's just...Dan and I had a short lived conversation right before I received news that I was being let out of the hospital. I thought that things were going to be okay, different, but that we were friends again. He was going to talk to me, to act like I existed. Phil says Dan is just feeling guilty. But, I don't know, part of me fears that because of Dan seeing me try to commit suicide, maybe he can't talk to me. Maybe our friendship is over." I said, tears burning my eyes but I wasn't feeling like crying. I took a deep breathe, waiting on someone, anyone, to say something.

"Oh, hun, I don't think your friendship is over. Maybe Dan just needs time to find the right things to say. You know how he likes to over think things." Louise said.

I knew she was right. When it came to Dan, Louise usually was.

"I just wish...I wish he'd give me a chance. Ya know? I'm sure it'd be awkward at first but it's better now- I'm better now. Can't you guys see the difference?" I said, scanning the faces of my friends.

"Oh, Bailey, of course we can. You are much more spirited then before. More open. Dan just needs time." Hazel said.

"It's been six months. Dan saw me twice in that time. And he didn't even come to my welcome party. Is it wrong of me to think that maybe he's given up? Maybe it's better this way?" I said, sighing.

Zoe shook her head with a smile. "He's clearly not given up. Otherwise he wouldn't have come here tonight."

"Right, I guess that makes sense." I sat back on the couch, resting my head back and facing the ceiling. I let out a defeated sigh. "And to think, the one thing that got me through my first few months in the hospital, was the fantasy that after I got out, Dan and I could be..."

"You still have feeling for him, huh?" Shawna said.

"Yea. Despite how embarrassed I was and ashamed when he found out. That's why I think maybe we can't be friends anymore. It hurts, because Dan means the world to me. But after everything that's happened...we'd have to have a strong bond to come back from him catching me trying to off myself. And I honestly don't think we did..." I said, not bothering to move.

"Honestly, if you want to know the best way to get into Dan's mind and be heard when he starts acting crazy, you have to figure out a way to shut his mind up, and make him listen to you." Louise said.

For some reason, that struck a cord with me, and gave me an idea. My mind began to race as the idea developed itself, but it was Zoe who broke my train of thought.

"Okay, girl. You just got out of the hospital. The last thing you need right now is boy drama. Let's have some fun!" She said, before throwing a pillow at Hazel. Hazel laughed in surprise before trying to throw a pillow at Zoe, but it flew backwards and hit Shawna square in the face.

"Oh, it's so on!" Shawna said, standing up on the sofa and waving her pillow threw the air.

I laughed at my goofy friends who were acting like they were thirteen again, and the school girl inside me couldn't help but join in on all the fun. After an hour, we were all best, laying scattered throughout the living room with some random romance movie playing on the tv. Shawna was the first to fall asleep, the other girls quickly following her. I rolled around in my sleeping bag, wondering what I was going to do about Dan. I finally fell asleep, hoping that tomorrow I would be able to save my friendship.

The next morning, mom woke us up around 10am, and we all ate breakfast and talked about the sleepover with her. I left out the bit about Dan, wanting to tell her about that after the girls had left. The girls all left around noon, Shawna being the first to leave because she wanted to say goodbye to Phil before her plane to Canada. I was a bit sad to see her go, but I knew it wouldn't be the last time I talked to her. Before I went to the hospital, Shawna and I often Skyped or text each other at least three times a week .

When the girls were gone, I helped mom with the dishes, in silence.

"You are awfully quite. What's on you'r mind, kiddo?" Mom asked.

I frowned. "Dan."

She nodded, and I could see her try to hold back a smile.

"What?" I said, trying not to smile myself out of embarrassment. Though I felt my face heat up.

"You really are in love with that boy, aren't you?"

I shook my head. "Mom! That's not what I meant. It's just that..well..."

I went into the story about my conversation with Dan at the hospital, him showing up last night, and my conversation with the girls. When I was done, mom had a thoughtful look on her face.

"Perhaps we should discuss this with Doctor Collens. She'll be here any minute." Mom said, and sure enough, there was a knock at the door.

I sighed. Here goes nothing...