Save Her (Daniel Howell)

Chapter 2; Loneliness is Key

(P.O.V. Bailey)

I paced around the living room in the apartment, a tight grip on the phone in my hand. I sighed heavily, annoyed and terrified. All I wanted to do was go for a walk.

But I knew what I was signing myself up for, and I wasn't sure I was ready to deal with it. Or put my parents through a another panic attack after only two weeks in London. I just knew it was going to break their hearts.

"You're okay Bailey. It's just a walk. You'll be fine." I told myself. I knew mom and dad were upstairs organizing the office, so they couldn't hear me.

I put my earbuds in, and turned up Hero by Skillet. My hope was that I would be able to drown out the negativity until I could make it outside. It was just a simple walk...

My long, skinny fingers gripped the door knob of our apartment, and I took another calming deep breathe. I stepped outside, into the hall and I felt my heart rate spike, and my stomach twist into knots. I felt sick, and I began to tremble.

I quickly walked down the stairs, watching my feet in case I miss one. Being ungraceful was also a curse of mine. Finally, I managed to make it to the front door of the complex. I felt the panic creep up, causing me to breathe shallow breaths. My throat felt as though it was closing up...

You wouldn't make it out there...

They will all hate you...

Idiot...

Worthless...

You should have ended it already...

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, and tightened the grip on my phone, turned the music up louder. The voices only began to shout at me, and my breathe grew even more shallow.

"No...Please...." I whispered to myself.

I opened my eyes, and white hot tears began to pour down my cheeks. I wanted to scream, kick, throw something out of anger. But I didn't. I remained frozen. Standing-shaking- in front of the large wooden door, pleading with the voices in my head to release me from their torment.

"I...I can't do this!" I said, and spun around to go back to my apartment.

But as I turned to begin my walk upstairs, I smacked to the torso of someone, sending us tumbling down the flight of stairs behind them. As we landed, thankfully not on top of each other, I rushed to get up, and try to make an escape before they saw me. I was, unfortunately, too late. As I sat up, the person was already sitting up, gathering their phone and wallet they had dropped.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going. Stupid. Wait, I'm not calling you stupid. I was calling myself stupid. I mean...uh...I'll shut up now." the familiar British accent said.

I stood, not looking up at the person I had just tumbled down the stairs with. At least, not until I realized the voice of the person speaking was a voice I knew quite well. My head shot up, and I noted that even at my 5' 8'' status of height, they still stood significantly taller then me.

I was staring, wide eyed, at the face of Dan Howell. One of my YouTube, and over all idols of life. And I had just knocked him down a flight of stairs. Dan was looking at my mess of a self, with my puffy eyes, sunk in like cheeks, dark blood shot eyes...I looked like death, and he was staring at me...

It finally dawned on me that he was waiting on me to say something, and that he was handing me my phone. Apparently I had dropped it during our tumble down the stairs. I was staring at him, wide eyed, mouth hung open in shock. I had only lived in London for two weeks, and my first time trying to leave my apartment complex and I knock my favorite Youtuber down a flight of stairs.