Calls From The Toilet [DISCONTINUED]

Mr. Constipated

*calling unknown number*

“Hey!”

“Grhhhhh.”

“Still at it, eh?”

“Who are...grhhhhhh...you?”

“Oh! It's a he! I actually thought it was a she!”

“Excuse me. We haven't ever talked before...grhhhhhh.”

“Then you, my friend, are deaf. I had called you two days ago, but all I heard was grhhh.”

“Wait! So you heard me being constipated?”

“So that's what it was. I really couldn't put my finger to it with all your high pitched squeaking.”

“You really to make me question my masculinity. You know...grhhhhhhh.”

“I know what I can call you! Constipated boy.”

“But we are never talking after this. The last time you called...grhhhhh...I must have accidentally pressed answer...grhhhh.”

“You know you sound like a squealing girl still going through puberty on her birthday, right?”

“Excuse me. I...grhhhh...do not. And who are you anyways?”

“You do sound like a girl. And I'm Hannah Montana. But don't worry, I'm under cover.”

“What do you mean by that? Grhhhh.”

“I'm literally under cover. Like I'm lying on my bed under my blanket.”

“And why are you calling me again?”

“The first time was a dare.”

“And this time?”

“Just wanted to hear your squealing over how your poo won't come out of your butt.”

“And why would you want to hear me being constipated?”

“Because it's music to my ears.”

“You're joking right?”

“...”

“Quit...grhhhhh...laughing. It's not funny.”

“I beg to differ. It's quite funny how you keep on grhhing in almost every sentence. And why would you be constipated anyways?”

“My mom says I don't eat enough greens. She says I eat too much meat, well it's not my fault—”

*call ended*

“It hung up on me.... I'm not that boring am I? I personally think I'm very funny.”