Calls From The Toilet [DISCONTINUED]

When Humans Go Extinct

*calling bigorangebaboon*

"Hello!"

"What do you want this time?"

"You know I realize that you aren't ever constipated anymore. It gets quite boring talking to you."

"I'm not that boring."

"You're right. You're not that boring. You're super boring!"

"Ouch, that hurts...right here."

"And I don't care."

"Are you heartless or what?"

"Nooo, Jest, ma baby. JEST!!!!!"

"Stop crying. And who is this Jest you speaketh of?"

"Nooo... You don't know Jest? The most amazing jester of all times. And he's from a great book too!! I'm literally in tears right now. It's all YOUR fault!!!"

"Don't cry. It's just a fictional character. Don't be stupid!"

"I'm not stupid. I'm emotional."

"Does that mean you are on your period?"

"How dare you think that!!"

"Then stop crying."

"Good bye, stupid balloon."

"Wha—"

*call ended*

"T"

"I'm not joking. It's like a thing with her. Maybe hanging up can be our always. Cue snickers."

Texting Furball at 9:20 p.m.

Yello.

Furball
What u want?

Oh. Nuting.

Furball
Den y u killing me

Furball
*texting

Im bored. Y else?

Furball
Cuz u addicted to texting moi. The all great and almighty me. Loretta.

I can get used to calling u Loretta. It sounds so nice.

Furball
Stupid baboon.

Excuuuuuuuuuse u.

Furball
Excuse ur words.

Idk y i give u the time of the day.

Furball
Cuz u r in wuvvvvvv wit me.

So. Loretta. How do u look like?

Furball
Even if i told u. U woudnt be able to tell or ask anyone.

Y?

Furball
Cuz u b dead by den.

Wow. Not beating around the bush. I like.

Furball
Well i dont like u. Or ur stupid ways. Only when humans go extinct will I eva like u.

Furball
Bai, aunt calling me to go help change the diapers of my cousin.

Ok den. Have fun with that.

Texting Stupid Baboon

Sup dude.

Stupid Baboon
Wat now?

I wanted to ask, r u gonna die anytime soon. Cuz i think the air would be more breathable if u werent on earth.

Stupid Baboon
I am so feeling de luv rn

Ik u r.

Stupid Baboon
If only u were dead.

Sucks to b u. Cuz i wont eva b dead...well not for the next 80 yrs.

Stupid Baboon
I know.

Ur so stupid. I really wish u were dead.

Stupid Baboon
Same here. But it aint happening anytime soon so ya.

Im pretty sure it will happen soon. The next time u come over u wont ever b leaving. Cuz ud b in our oven baking at a 360°C.

Stupid Baboon
Wow. Scary.

I know.

Stupid Baboon
But then u wont hv any hot body to stare at in ur free time.

U really think i would stare at u?

Stupid Baboon
Meanie. Ur suppose to say. Thank u. I love u so much.

When humans go extinct will i eva.

Stupid Baboon
Just say it.

I love u. Happy.

Stupid Baboon
Nahh, u hate me.

So very true.