Calls From The Toilet [DISCONTINUED]

Awww You

*calling Baby*

“He—grhhhhh... Huh huh. Why do you keep on calling me at this time?”

“Because I know that at this time you are constipating and it makes my day better all the time.”

“I'm glad that you find that my constipation brings you tons of joy.”

“Oh it doesn't bring me tons of joy. It brings me lots more than that, Baby.”

“Attracted to me now are we?”

“Hah, you wish! I'm too awesome for a lowly person like you. And I called you Baby because you told me to last time we talked.”

“Excuses...grhhhhhhh...excu—huh huh...excuses.”

“I don't even know why you won't eat your greens it's not that hard, is it?”

“It's very hard...grhhhhhhh!”

“That would've sounded sexy if it weren't for the fact that your voice is strained because you are constipated.”

“Again with them...grhhhhhhh...excuses.”

“You know I realized that half of what you say are actually constipated sounds. So I'm, like, doing most of the talking here. So much work, ugh, you should pay me.”

“Why do I even...gahhhhhhhh...talk to you?”

“Because I make your constipated time much more interesting. Don't deny it, it's true.”

“Ok... But to be honest I have a very interesting life outside the washroom.”

“Sure, sure. Why did you scream a few seconds ago anyways?”

“Be-because I umm... I, uh...grahhhhhh!”

“Understandable, it's because you just want my attention. Trust me, there are other ways to get my most awesome attention other than being constipated.”

“Grhhhhhhhhh...gahhhhhhhh...
grahhhhhhh!”

“...”

“Quit laughing. You know, I should change my constipated time so you won't listen to me yell because my poo it just to stubbor—”

“Did I just hear a plop?”

“Yassss! Virtual fist-bump. My poo came out. It's a world record!”

“How long does it usually take?”

“About three hours.”

“Why do you do it so late. Like it's already past midnight?”

“It's because I have parties here every Friday, Saturday and Sundays.”

“Ohh, so you're that kind of guy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know. The partying, sleep with every girl kind of guy. The bad boy.”

“I'm not that much of a bad boy. I'd say I'm somewhat in between bad boy and good boy.”

“How does that work?”

“I get straight A, don't get in trouble much, but I do sleep with girls, just not as many as you think I do.”

“Ohhh, because that totally makes sense, baby.”

“You love me, don't deny it. Grhhhhhh.”

“I'll never love a bad boy, because I know what will happen in the end.”

“...”

*call ended*

“I think I hurt his feelings. Oh well, he's a bad boy. Bad things tend to hapen around them. But I'm sorry if I really did hurt you.”