Hurt

19

chapter 19 • drunk ?

"Honey can you please tell me what's wrong?" My mom asked, she was worried and I hated seeing her that way, she shouldn't be worried about me.

"Yeah mom I'm totally fine" I wipe the tears away and sit up straight, I grab my laptop and pretend I'm working on something.

"Can you just open the door" I hear her desperation and I stand up and walk towards the door I quickly glance at myself and I looked like a mess, my eyes were puffy but they weren't red I had bags under my eyes and my hair was all messed up to.

I unlock the door and walk back to my bed.

"It's open" I yelled, my mom entered my room and she looked tired as always. I gave her one of my fake smiles, the ones I always give people and of course they think I'm happy or have a perfect life.

"Mom I'm fine" I tell her for the millionth time.

"I was just checking" she sits down next to me and pulls back a strand of my hair. I remembered that I was going to get a hair cut and I was I haven't forgotten.

"Your such a beautiful woman, you know that" she smiles and I smile back. I wanted to cry but I had to be strong, I had to be strong for her.

"You remind me of your brother" I scuff and she laughs

"Your such an independent person just like him" she pauses and I stare at her she was probably thinking about him.

"Of course I remind you of him, I'm his twin sister" I laugh but she's just staring at the wall blankly.

"You also remind me of your father" her eyes started to glisten she wanted to cry but I placed my hand on her shoulder to reassure her that I was with her and she shouldn't worry.

"Mom I really have to finish this essay" I lie to her, I wanted her to stop thinking about the night we were in a car accident and I didn't want to think about it either.

"Of course, I'll see you tomorrow" she smiles and kisses my cheek, she gets up and closes my door.

I knew she was going back to work, to erase whatever she had in her mind or whatever happened between us. She probably took the night shift again.

She's a nurse and she leaves during the early mornings sometimes and when she doesn't want to come home she takes the night shift too and she comes back home the next day. I don't really mind because she doesn't really care as much as a mother should care for their child. And I like being home alone but sometimes I'm scared to be alone. But sometimes she actually cares about me and stays with me.

I go downstairs and shes not there. She probably left.

I go back upstairs I sit on my bed looking at the wall and thinking about what happened today.

"Everything isn't about you Macey" Alex's words cut deeper then intended. I've been thinking about what he said to me and he was right I shouldn't have assumed that I was the cause of his anger.

He probably doesn't care about me, and he probably hated the kiss, and I don't blame him it was my first kiss and I was probably a bad kisser.

I get up and walk into the bathroom I grab a pair of scissors and look at myself in the mirror.

I needed a change, I needed to change something, and I looked at my hair, during my junior year in high school I took a haircutting class and I don't know why but I did.

I grab my hair and I start cutting it. I didn't have my hair dye and I thought about it and I didn't want to dye it.

I spent around an hour cutting my long hair that reached my waist. I was actually satisfied with my look, my hair reached half of my shoulders and I liked it.

I cleaned up my bathroom and I fixed my hair a little.

I walked back into my room and sat onto my bed I was watching some dumb chick flick movies when I suddenly felt really tired.

I turned off the tv and I grabbed the now empty popcorn bag, God I love popcorn it's so good and tasty. But let's just talk about how Gus didn't deserve to die and Hazel didn't deserve that sadness, if only I could find true love that fast.

*slam*

I turn around and I see Alex standing in front of my door way.

"Alex-"

"Macey...*hiccup*...I want-I want to apologize" he slurs his words, he was swaying I actually thought he was going to fall. So I walk towards him and I place my hands on his waist, he was so heavy. Like what does he eat?

I place him down on my bed and my bed literally looked like it was going to break. Is he Popeye does he eat spinach because he almost broke my bed.

"Alex are you drunk" that was the stupidest question I could ask, I mean who couldn't tell he was drunk he was swaying and his words came out as a slur.

"Yeah, and"

"How much did you drink" I grab my blanket and place it on him.

"Likeeee...this much" he stretches his arms out and I couldn't believe he actually drank that much.

"Alex why-" he places his index finger on my lip and leans forward.

"Shh" he manages to say "Macey im really, really, really sorry" he chuckles

"For what" I blurt out

"I'm sorry for shou-shouting at you" I start to gently play with his hair.

"Alex, why did you even think about drinking" it barely came out as a whisper and this is honestly becoming so cliché. I mean it's like a book that the guy gets drunk and stays over the Girls house and he leaves without saying goodbye and then they fall in love and have babies.

"I thought *hiccup* I wasn't going to see you again" I look at him so distinctively that I almost forgot he was drunk. His eyes were telling me he was still in there.

"Alex I think you should sleep" I wanted him to stop saying nonsense but what if he was telling the truth, he drank because of me, I was the cause of this, I'm ruining him.

He closes his eyes and all of a sudden he was asleep. He looked so peaceful.

I get up and head to the bathroom. I grab some Tylenol and I go downstairs to get some water. I knew he was going to need it tomorrow so why not do it now.

I place the Tylenol and water on my nightstand and leave a note.

I walk towards my bed and I mean it's my BED! And I wasn't going to sleep on the couch so I lay next to Alex who is sound asleep. And before you know it I'm sound asleep beside Alex.

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Hope you enjoyed this chapter