Jeruji Resonansi Hati

[Fine]

I'm fine,
I'm good,
I'm great,
And im okay.

I'm fine actually,
Losing someone,
One by one,
Im used to it.

Not that I like it,
But universe find it amusing,
Seeing me up and down in life.
I'm not complaining tho.

I like being just me,
My bed,
My journal,
And my thoughts.
What a perfect yoga.

What I see,
Its different with
how you see.

I like seeing things in darkness.
While you're not.
I like everything that in the sky,
While you like whats in the water.

I've kinda lost it,
For a moment.
But im not cry,
I'm not crying,again.
Just because of him.

He said he miss me,
Well it's good.
The feelings mutual.
But then,
Everything is dark.

His voice, is a poison.
His laugh, is a toxic.
His love, is a sins.
Well im stuck,
Breathing in the toxic air while im being poisoned and fall to his sins.

Ironic.

Do you remember?
When you offer me some tofu?
In the warteg back then?
Oh boy,
What a good times.

And now,
Meeting you.
Is my biggest fear.
I don't know why.

Maybe im afraid of how things will be,
Maybe im afraid of my feelings.
How my body acts around you,
How my arms shaking,
And how my heart ache when I saw you.

But maybe,
Meeting you is a miracle.
Cause I will feel,
How my heart could beat so fast when I see you,
How im stumbled finding a words to say,
Or how I couldn't stop smiling around you.

I would kill to feel those feelings again.
But who im kidding,
Im scared yet giddy.

It just you know,
My words are jumble in my head.
And I can't find a way to let it out.
But so you know,
For someone out there,
This heart,
This beating heart,
Was once only beating for you.
And maybe one day it will be for you again.

-Saz.