"When my world is falling apart, when there's no light to break up the dark, that's when I, I look at you" -Miley Cyrus, 'When I Look at You'
"Ash, come cuddle!" Luke called from the bunk.
"Be there in a bit!" I called and stared at the razor sitting on the counter. Should I?
Yes.
I should?
This pain will go away.
You promise?
I do.
Okay...
I put three cuts on my thigh and quickly washed away the blood.
When are you doing it?
Doing what?
Ending it?
Around July.
Why wait until July?
To see if things get better.
How about July twenty fourth?
Yeah.
Pills and alcohol, that's the way we're going to go.
I agree.
Good.
I walked out of the bathroom and to Luke's bunk. I crawled into the covers and snuggled up against Luke, resting my head into the crook of his neck.
"When are we going to tell everybody?" I asked Luke, smiling to myself.
"We should tell our families first..." he gulped. "A-and then management, then the fans," Luke whispered.
"What's wrong, Lukey?" I looked up at him.
"How do you think my parents are going to react?" he asked, searching my eyes.
"They're still going to love you, I promise," I told him and he smiled before lightly pecking my lips. A small blush reddened my cheeks and Luke giggled.
"Well that's adorable." I blushed even more. He smiled and I laughed.
"Stop making me blush!"
"No, it's adorable!"
"No it's not!" I countered and he laughed.
"Yes it is." He poked my side. "It's cute like your laugh and your dimples."
"Okay, my laugh is not cute! I sound like I'm suffocating!" I huffed and Luke's smile faltered.
"No it doesn't! Everyone loves your laugh!"
"Well I don't," I whispered and Luke smirked at me before tickling my sides. "No! Stop!" I giggled and tried to hold in my laugh. Luke continued tickling me and I eventually let out my laugh, but covered my mouth quickly.
"No. Don't." Luke pulled my hand away from my mouth and smiled at me. I huffed and frowned. Luke scooted closer to me, re-wrapping his arms around me. He leaned in and slowly moved his lips against mine.
It was then. Right then and there. Our eyes closed, our lips together, that I forgot about my insecurities. I forgot about hurting myself. I forgot about everything. The hate, the hurt, the pain. I forgot all about it. All that mattered was Luke. And he made me feel perfect.
