Luke's P.O.V.
Later on that day, around lunchtime, we were sitting at a table in a restaurant. No one was talking, I don't even think half of the people were breathing.
"We...we know what happened yesterday, Ashton," Liam said quietly and Ash stiffened.
"What happened yesterday?" he asked, trying to sound completely oblivious. I grabbed his hand under the table and laced our fingers together.
"You tried to...you know," Harry murmured.
"I tried to what?" Ashton asked, sounding innocent. If I didn't actually know what happened, I would've believed his act.
"You tried to kill yourself," Niall whispered. Ashton stiffened again and I ran my thumb over his knuckles. He stared at me, before sighing.
"Who told you?" he asked, his voice sounded deflated and defeated.
"Calum did," Zayn admitted and Ashton's eyes turned to fire as he looked at Calum.
"Before you say anything, they deserved to know," Calum said and I gripped Ashton's hand tighter and he moved around in his seat.
"That doesn't give you the right to...to tell them!" Ashton spat and I sighed.
"Ashton, not here, okay? We'll talk about this on the bus," I whispered to him and he nodded before staring down at his legs. I felt him drop my hand and a little bit of my heart broke.
Ashton was silent the rest of lunch. When someone tried to talk to him, he'd just shake his head and look back down. It sort of killed me inside. He looked so...hurt.
We got back to the tour bus, and Ashton exploded.
"How fucking dare you!" he cursed at Calum, tears already invading his pretty eyes. "I thought I could trust you with a secret as simple as that!"
"That's not a 'simple' secret, Ashton! You tried to kill yourself!"
"Yeah, I did," he said it with such casualty, I actually cringed. "And you know what? It's in the past!"
"It happened yesterday!"
"It's still in the fucking past, okay?!"
"This band that we're touring with, they're our friends, they're our tour mates. For God's sake, without them, we wouldn't be where we are now! Don't you think that deserve to know what's going on?!?" Calum yelled and Ashton glared at him.
"Well maybe I actually wanted to tell them!"
"We all know you don't have to guts to do it, Ashton. Just like you don't have to guts to do many things."
"Like what?" Ashton growled and I pinched the bridge of my nose. When will this stop?
"Let's see, you can't even go on stage without having a fucking panic attack, you can't even fucking cut yourself without having a mental breakdown-"
"YOU'RE A FUCKING PRICK, YOU KNOW THAT?" Ashton seethed, his eyes narrowed to slits. "And all this fucking time, I thought you actually were my friend, and actually cared. And I thought that we were best friends, we could trust each other. But obviously, I was so fucking wrong. God, I'm so stupid. You and I were like two fucking peas in a pod, Calum. We were like brother's. But then I started dating Luke and you..." he didn't finish. I don't know why, but he stood there, standing with his mouth open.
"Ashton?" I asked and he closed his mouth.
"Ever since I started dating Luke, you've been a fucking prick to me," Ashton whispered and Calum just stared at him. "Why?" Calum didn't respond. "Why?!" Ashton insisted and Calum shut his mouth. "WHY!?"
"BECAUSE I'M FUCKING JEALOUS, ALRIGHT!?" he screamed and I tensed. "I'm so fucking jealous of the two of you, because you two just came out and admitted your feelings for each other and bam! you're together. If I even tried to tell the person I like that I like them, they'd fucking throw me out in a heartbeat!"
I felt my muscles relax.
"Why can't you tell them, Cal?" Ashton asked in a quiet voice and Calum shakily sighed.
"Because they just...I just can't, okay? And don't push it any further," he demanded before walking off. Ashton sighed, before collapsing onto the couch.
"I hate fighting with my band mates," he whispered. I sat next to him and hugged him quickly.
"I'm going to go talk to Cal, okay?" I asked and he nodded. I got up and walked over to Cal. I heard Mikey say something to Ashton, but I couldn't quite catch it. I saw Cal in his bunk and he was facing the wall. I tapped his shoulder and he turned to me. Hey, Cal," I whispered and crawled in next to him.
"Hi," he whispered back.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Who do you like, but you can't tell them?" I asked and he sighed.
"It's complicated, okay?"
"Just tell me, Cal, I won't judge..."
"Fine..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Well, remember that one time when Ashton and I went to the movie?" I nodded my head. "Well, we met a fan there, and she was...wow...and I followed her on Twitter and her and I started talking and I got her number. I really like her, but..."
"But what?"
"She's fifteen...and I know that it's not that big of an age gap, but...I...I feel like I have an obligation to like Mikey."
"Why?"
"Because I know he likes me."
"How?"
"I heard him tell you and I heard you tell Ashton."
"That doesn't mean you have an obligation to like him though."
"But I...I think I do...I think I like him. I just don't know how to deal with it."
"It'll be okay, Calum, I promise."
I walked back out to see Ashton and Michael talking.
"Is he okay?" Michael asked and I nodded. I sat next to Ash and wrapped an arm around him. "I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep. Good night you guys."
"Good night."
He walked into the bunking area.
"Lukey, I've noticed some things that I really wanna talk to you about," Ashton whispered.
"Okay, go ahead..."
"I've just...it seems like as I'm getting better, you're getting worse."
"What do you mean?"
"You just seem to be sad a lot when I'm happy. You're not as bright and bubbly as you used to be. And it scares me because I don't want you to turn out like me."
"I'm fine, Ashton, I promise..."
If only that was the truth...
