A/N: I should really stop listening to Amnesia....
Ashton's P.O.V.
Lies are lies, and yes, they're bad, but they get you out of going to a mental hospital. I just told the doctors that I had a panic attack and must have fallen unconscious. They believed, and I was released. We got back to the tour bus and the boys just stared at me when we got settled in.
"What?" I asked and Michael sighed.
"Why didn't you tell us that it was this bad?"
"That what was this bad?" I questioned.
"Your depression."
"I'm not depressed," I retorted and crossed my arms. Calum raised his eyebrow, but then shook his head and looked down. "What? Is there something you want to say, Calum? Go ahead and say it," I snapped and Calum let out a sarcastic laugh.
"Yeah, there's tons I want to say to you, but I won't."
"No, no, please, entertain me with what you have to say," I said sarcastically.
"Fine, since you're being such an ass about it. Look around. Take a good, hard look around. Think about how great your life is, compared to some people's. Some people have absolute shit lives, and your over here living thousands of people's dreams, wanting to die. I bet millions of people would gladly trade spots with you."
"Wow, well aren't you just a dick?" I asked in a sarcastic tone.
"I'm not being a dick, it's called having common sense," he responded in a monotone voice and I scoffed.
"So you're saying I'm stupid?" I called.
"I never said you were exactly smart either-"
"That's enough," Michael said, stepping in between the two of us. "Both of you need to shut the fuck up and stop fighting. Just for a second, please?"
I glared at Calum and he raised an eyebrow cockily.
"Awe, Ashton, where's your precious little Luke, who obviously isn't enough proof that you should stay," Calum asked and I felt my glare falter. I felt my face dropped and I turned to look at Luke, who wasn't there. "You don't get it, do you, Ashton? Luke cares about you so, so much. Did you see how much it tore him up when you said you tried to kill yourself? Do you see the pain on his face when he sees your cuts? He really does care about you, Ash."
I felt my heart lurch and sighed, looking at the ground.
"Dammit, Calum," I muttered and walked to the bunk area, where Luke was lying down. He turned to look at me, his eyes slightly red. I crawled in next to him and buried my face into his chest, breathing in his scent.
"I almost lost you," he whimpered, his voice cracking. "Oh my God, I almost lost you." He sniffled for a few seconds, before I felt my hair dampen from the tears falling off of his face. "I al-almost lost you."
"I didn't think you cared that much, Lukey, I-"
"No," he cut me off and forced me to look into his eyes. "Don't ever think that I don't care about you, Ash." He stared at me for a second before returning back to sobbing.
"Luke, stop crying please," I begged. "If you don't stop, I'm going to start crying as well and we're both just going to be two crying messes." He looked down at me and I reached up to wipe the tears off of his cheeks. "Don't cry over me, Lukey, please."
"Ashton, you tried to take your own life. How could I not...I just....why?"
"I felt unwanted because of what happened yesterday. I thought that you were truly dating me out of pity."
