Ashton's P.O.V.
I was okay for the concert, but had a monster headache afterwords. I was in the worst mood ever. Luke was sleeping, so I was going to go to the restroom, but he didn't let go of my waist.
"Luke, let go of me," I said, shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes.
"What?"
"Let go of me," I demanded.
"No," he challenged.
"Why? I have to go to the bathroom."
"You're going to cut yourself. I saw your razor." He stared up at me and I bit my lip.
"Just let me go," I whispered. He sighed.
"No, Ashton, I'm not letting you go. I care about you, a lot, and I don't want you hurting yourself. Do you know how much that hurts me?" he asked and I stared at him.
"If you love me, let me go," I demanded. He shook his head.
"No, I'm sorry, Ash."
"Let. Me. Go," I growled and Luke pulled me closer to his chest, holding on even tighter. "Let go of me!"
"No! I'm not going to let you hurt yourself!" I squirmed in his arms, trying to break free of his grasp. All he did was hold me tighter. "Ashton," he whispered in my ear, "Calm down. Please. You're going to wake up Calum and Michael."
"I don't care! Let me go!"
"Ash, baby, please don't do this. Just calm down and go back to sleep, okay?"
"No! I don't want to!" I squirmed even more in his arms.
"Babe, c'mon, please. I'm trying really hard here. I want you to stop, you said you'd try to stop. You promised."
"I know! But please! Just let me go!" I screamed and felt a panic attack coming on. When I have the urge and don't take care of it, I get panic attacks. My hands started shaking and I felt my breathing get heavier.
"Ash?" Luke asked and that's when the tears came on. I sobbed as he turned me over so that I was facing him. "C'mere." He pulled me to his chest and let me sob into his neck. He rubbed my back and lightly kissed my head. While his grip loosened, I tried to roll out of his grasp. I gripped me and pulled me against his chest, as I sobbed, punched and screamed. "ASHTON!" Luke snapped and I stopped for a moment, staring up at his blue eyes. "I'm not letting you go," he whispered, leaning in a bit. "I don't want you to hurt yourself." His lips barely brushed mine and I felt a spark run through my body as I connected our lips fully, before I pulled away and buried my face into his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Luke," I apologized as more tears fell down my face. "I'm sorry I'm putting you through so much."
"Ash, it's okay. I care about you, and I hate seeing you hurting yourself. It hurts me too."
He says it even though he's said it multiple times.
Because he's running out of things to say to you. Do you actually think he cares?
"And don't listen to that voice in your head, it's wrong, okay? God dammit, Ash, you're perfect. Anyone who tells you differently has some serious problems, and it hurts that you don't believe it, because Ashton Irwin, I swear to God, you're completely and utterly perfect."
What happened to ending it? You can't back out on it now.
I looked up at Luke, his blue eyes shining in the darkness. He smiled and cupped my cheek, leaning in a bit.
"Ash? Can you say something?"
"Oh, yeah...sorry," I apologized.
"Is it the voice?" he asked and I nodded my head. He smiled softly and pecked my lips. "It doesn't matter, okay? Unless it's telling you not to hurt yourself, or do anything bad, just ignore it."
"If only it was that easy."
"I know it's not easy, but I need you to try, because eventually, it's going to go away. All of this depression and anxiety and thoughts of self harm are going to go away. But if you don't take the chance for them to get better, you'll never know."
"I know, Lukey."
"Alright." He lightly pecked my lips, before yawning.
"Let's go to sleep, yeah?"
"Yeah."
(A/N: THIS IS SO SHORT I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY. I HAVE A REALLY BIG AUTHOR'S NOTE UP NEXT SO YAH)
