Luke's P.O.V.
I woke up next to Ashton, checking if he was breathing again. When I noticed he was, I let out a sigh.
"You don't have to check if I'm still breathing you know?" he asked and turned around to face me.
"I still just want to make sure. That scared the shit out of me, Ash," I breathed out, running my fingers through his hair.
"I'm sorry," he murmured and I gave him a soft smile.
"We should tell the fans later today."
"How?"
"By Twitcam or something."
"I don't know, Luke, I mean-"
"Do you not want to tell them?" I asked and he sighed, closing his eyes.
"I do, Luke, I want them to know, it's just...what if they don't accept it?"
"This is the 5SOSfam, Ash, of course they'll accept it," I reminded him. "And if they don't, they were never true fans in the first place."
"I'm just....terrified."
"We don't have to tell them, Ash," I told him and he opened his eyes, looking up at me.
"I really want to...but I'm just...scared, you know? And what if something happens and we break up, and it'll tear the whole band apart, Luke, what if this was a really bad idea?"
"What if what was a really bad idea?" I asked, feeling my chest hurt a little. He sighed and got up.
"What if we were a really bad idea?" he implied and I moved my arms from around his waist.
"What are you saying, Ashton?" I asked hesitantly. "Do you...do you not want to be with me?"
"No, Luke, I want to be with you, I do, I really do. It's just...when we started dating, it really seemed like a good idea. But...now, it's really stressful, and I just...I mean, you're amazing Luke, you really are. You deserve the world, but-"
Tears were already in my eyes and a few fell.
"So that's it, Ashton? Being with me is too stressful?"
"No, no, no, it's not like that-"
"That's what you said..."
"I didn't mean it like that, Luke, you know I didn't." I shook my head and crawled out of the bunk, wiping my tears away hastily. "Luke, please, just listen." I turned around to look at him hopping out of the bunk.
"So everything you said to me...everything you and I did together...It was a lie?" I asked, my voice small, even though I was angry, heartbroken, and absolutely terrified.
"No, Luke...don't assume that. You know it's not true..."
"Do you want to break up with me?" I said angrily, it showing in my voice.
"Luke..."
"Do you want to break up with me?" I asked louder and harsher, the venom in my voice hurting me.
Ashton sighed.
"I don't, Luke. But I think..." He stared at his hands. "I'm just really scared of how this is going to turn out."
"You know what I've noticed, Ashton? I've been the one carrying our relationship on my back. If I just stopped kissing you, or hugging you, we'd be nothing. You only kiss me if I kiss you first. You don't even hold my hand anymore, I don't know what's happening, Ash...This surface tension has to break...I can't be the only one holding this relationship up."
"Trust goes two ways, you know?" Ashton asked, his eyes piercing into mine. "I've told you everything...and I know something's going on with you, Luke. I can tell that this relationship is taking it's toll on you, and I never intended for that to happen. I'm sorry-"
"Sorry? You're sorry that I care for you, Ash?"
"You care too much, Luke...And if you care this much, then-"
"Don't talk, Ashton. If you're done, then you're done. I won't try to convince you to stay."
"Luke, look at you, you care a lot. It's almost too much for your own good. This relationship is changing you." I shook my head and laughed sarcastically.
"God forbid someone actually cares for you," I chuckled sarcastically. "But you know what, it's whatever. If you don't want to be with me, you don't want to be with me. I'm not going to force you."
"Maybe when someone cares for me, it hurts me, because I don't want to care about them as well, but I do. I do anyway, and it kills me, Luke. Look at me, I've tried to commit suicide, I cut almost everyday, take a look at me." I shook my head.
"I'm going on a walk," I said and turned around to walk towards the door, grabbing my jacket.
"No, Luke-"
"Don't talk to me," I snapped, ignoring him.
"Luke, please-"
"I said don't talk to me!"
"Lucas, I swear to God-"
"Just shut up, okay!?!" I fumed, turning around to glare at him. His bottom lip was quivering and tears filled his eyes. I looked away and slammed the door, walking out. I didn't notice I was crying until I felt the wind blow against my face. I wiped my tears away quickly and felt my heart lurch as I thought about Ashton's face as I slammed the door.
I thought about the things he said and felt more tears stream down my face.
"Luke?" I heard a girl ask and I turned to look at her. I didn't recognize her, but I saw her 5SOS necklace and quickly wiped my tears off my cheeks.
"Yeah, hi," I muttered and she softly smiled at me.
"Are you okay?" she asked calmly.
"Yeah, I'm fine..." She laughed quietly.
"Luke, I can tell you're not. What's going on?"
"It's...it's nothing."
"It's not any of my business, sorry..."
"I'm sorry for being snappy, but...there's a lot going on right now. It's just...Ashton and I got into a really bad fight," I admitted.
"Is Lashton real?" she asked cutely and nudged my shoulder. I sniffled and looked down.
"It was...I'm not so sure anymore..." Her smile fell.
"Luke, I'm sorry, I-"
"It's okay...It's just...tough to know that the only person you want to be with doesn't want to be with you anymore."
"I'm sure that-"
"Luke, holy shit, finally!" I heard Calum exclaim and I turned to look at him. "Dude, Ashton's bawling his fucking eyes out, and it's looks like you've been crying, holy shit what happened to you two?" He turned to look at the girl who I was just talking to and his cheeks flushed. "Hey Sarah," he smiled and she smiled back.
"You remember me, awe," she smirked and Calum blushed. "Dude, make it less obvious that you like me," she flirted and Calum gasped.
"Stop!" he jokingly yelled at her. "You're a bitch."
"You're a dick," she retorted.
"You are what you eat," I commented and Calum gasped, glaring at me.
"That was not funny!"
"Yes it was," Sarah commented. "It was fucking hilarious."
"I'm not..." he trailed of, before whispering, "gay."
"I'm not either and I still like dudes," I said and Sarah laughed.
"You make a good point, young man," Sarah said and I grinned. "Wait...what is your sexuality?"
"I'm bi."
"Oh em gee twinsies!" Sarah exclaimed and I looked at her surprised.
"You're bi?"
"Hell yeah, some girls are hot," she said casually and I smiled.
"Wait...how did you get here, anyway?" Calum asked her.
"Some of my friends and I are going on a road trip around here and going to many concerts for different bands."
"That's so cool!" Calum exclaimed.
"Only for losers who like All Time Low and that gay ass band 5 Seconds of Summer," she commented.
"You're literally right. Three out of four of us aren't straight," Calum said.
"Dude, that's top information! Don't go around saying that!" I scolded.
"She already knows," Calum defended.
"So? You don't go around saying that!"
"She's the only one outside the band that knows besides your and Ashton's family."
"Shit, Ashton...oh my God, I fucking ruined it! I have to go Sarah, I'm sorry, I'll be back." I told her and ran back to the tour bus. I opened the door and Ashton immediately wrapped his arms around me.
"Oh my God, Luke I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of it, I love you, don't leave again!" he sobbed and clutched onto me. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. He looked up at me through watery eyes. "I'm sorry, Luke-"
"I know, shh, it's okay..." I led him to the bunk and laid him next to me, holding him close.
"I never meant to hurt you-"
"Ashton, it's okay," I reminded him and kissed his head. He sighed and slowly calmed down. After he stopped sobbing, he looked up at me. "Earlier, you said you loved me-"
"It's true..."
"I love you, Ash," I whispered. He smiled and leaned his forehead against mine.
"I love you more," he muttered back. I took a breath and smiled at him.
"If you say so..."
THAT WAS CUTE OK
