"Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head." -Blink-182, "I Miss You"
"Ash?" I heard Michael's voice as I was changing into some black skinny jeans and my Nirvana shirt. I was only in my boxers, and the cuts on my thighs were visible. I hurriedly pulled on my pants before turning to meet Michael's eyes.
"Yeah?"
"I heard your conversation."
"W-with who?" My heart race sped up.
"Luke." It slowly descended.
"Oh. Yeah..." I turned around and pulled my shirt on, packing my wrists with bracelets.
"You know Luke didn't mean what he said, right?" I stopped in the midst of putting the bracelets on my right wrist.
"I know." It really did hurt, though. Made me want to break skin. A voice entered my head.
No, don't give them that satisfaction.
Luke's not a bully, why would he need satisfaction?
He thinks you're an attention whore. Maybe he's right. You're doing it so people will feel sorry for you.
No I'm not.
Ash, maybe you should just leave them. Leave Michael, leave Luke, leave Calum.
I can't do that.
Leave the fans. Leave your parents. Make the people who hurt you feel sorry for themselves.
How?
Doesn't revenge sound delicious? They hurt you, Ashton. Make. Them. Pay.
How?
No one answered. The voice was gone.
"Ash? You've been staring at the dresser for about a minute. I said that Luke feels bad and he told me to tell you that he's sorry."
"Tell him to tell me personally."
"You know how shy and awkward Luke is."
"Too shy and awkward to apologize to his best friend for calling him an attention whore?" My voice dripped with venom I didn't know I had.
There you go, Ash. Slowly detach yourself from your 'friends'. Then, when you leave, they won't care to come and find you.
What did you mean earlier when you said that I could leave them?
You know what I mean, Ashton. Death is an option.
No, I promised Luke.
Look what Luke did to you! You could fly away, become the angel everyone knows you are.
What about Harry and Lauren?
Silly boy, you think they actually care.
They do. They're my family.
Remember when you pretend you're okay? They pretend to care. It runs in the family, it's easy to hide your feelings. Just one cut vertically-
"Hey, Ash." Luke's familiar voice cut off the one in my head. I looked up at him.
How could a perfect boy like Luke ever like you back?
You have a point.
He could never. Look at you. End it already, and you'll be perfect, you'll never have imperfections again.
