Blackheart Forever (Cody Culp)

Chapter 21

After a while of sitting out in the hall, I finally pulled myself to my feet and staggered back into the front room.
I just stared at the floor as everyone looked at me, but I ignored them asking if I was ok, and sat down again.
A few minutes later, Alice came back out and I stood up.
"Is she ok?", I asked.
"Shes alright now, that only happened because she did'nt have enough blood getting to her brain, which is why I'm here- I need more", she said."Who else here has A- blood?"
A bunch of people either said no, or just shook their head cause they did'nt know.
"Just take it from me", I said as I stood up again and rushed to the back room again.
"Cody!!Cody!",Alice said as she ran after me."Cody, you already gave 2 pints, and I need 2 more-if you give anymore you can pass out or worse, go into cardiac arrest!!"

"I don't care!!", I yelled back and walked into the backroom.
"Cody-"
"Look-either you take my blood, or I'll do it my damn self", I growled, picking up the transfuser tube with the needles on each end.
She sighed at it and shook her head at me.
"I'm not letting her die, and I'm giving all the blood she needs and more", I said hissed at her.
She sighed again, but took it from me and poked it into my arm, and the other end into Jess's blood bag, then she flipped the switch we began the transfusion.
After of a couple minutes, I started blinking hard again, and I shook my head a little to keep me awake.

"Alright we're done with one of them, but I still need one more pint", Alice said, then hooked the new bag of blood up to Jess's it drained into her."Are you sure you can stand to give another pint?Cody this is really dangerous as it is."
"Do ittt",I slurred and rested my elbow on the arm of the chair so I could hold my head up with my hand.
She looked as she was about to object once again, so I sent her a death glare and she nodded, then flipped the switch and she started draining more blood from me to the blood bag.
A few minutes later, it felt like all the energy was drained from me, so they brought me a beer, and regardless of how many times they told me to just sit down, I stumbled my way back into the front room where everyone was.
"Cody you ok dude?",Kurt said as he came up to me and grabbed my wrist before I fell.
"Yea, I'm fineee I got ittt",I mumbled, and the next thing I knew, my entire body just gave and I blacked out.

Jess's POV

I woke up, and I was in my bed, in my room at my dad's house where I have'nt been for 2 weeks, which had me really confused.
I sat up, and looked down at my stomach then saw there was no blood, or bullet holes, or scars, or nothing.
Standing up, I walked to the door of my room and looked down the hall.
My dad's door was open, but he was'nt there.
I backed up and walked down the stairs as quietly as I could and into the living room to see the T.V. was'nt on like it always is, and the house did'nt reek of alcohal as it usually did.
"Hello?", I called, but no one answered."Hello?...Anyone home?"
"Funny, that's the same thing that boy said", a woman's voice suddenly laughed and I jumped.
"Where are you?", I said."How the hell are you in my house?!"

Next thing I knew, I heard the old porch swing on the back porch my mom always used to sit in start swinging.
I did'nt swing anymore after she died, why is it swinging now??
My eyebrows knitted together in confusion as I walked through the living, into the kitchen and out onto the back porch.
I opened the screen door and looked towards the very end of the porch where the swing was, and a shadowy figure was sitting in it.
"Hey...who the hell are you?", I said as I walked closer, but they did'nt answer."Hey-I'm talking to you!!"

Then they stood up, and slowly turned towards me, then I recognized her.
She had long black hair, blue eyes, and dimples when she smiled, plus she was wearing a white flowy dress that came down to her knees.
The same thing I saw her in the last time she was alive.
"Mom?", I choked out and she kept smiling.
"Hi sweetheart", she said.
"Mom!?",I said shocked.
"It's alright, honey, you don't need to be scared",she shook her head and waved me over to here."Come here."

I ran to her and hugged her and she hugged me back then rubbed my arm.
"Mom I-"
"No... don't say anything...just let me look at you", she said, her soft, sweet voice, sounding like music to my ears.
We let each other go, and I took a step back, letting her take my hands in her's as she smiled and looked me over.
"11 years...11 years ago...and you grew up to be as beautiful as I thought you would", she shook her head as tears formed in her eyes.
"Mom, I'm so sorry-I tried to get Dad to go back-I tried-", I started crying as well.
"Honey, don't worry about that, that was never your fault", she shook her head."It does'nt matter now...your safe here with me."

I took a shaky breath in and looked all around us.
"Where is "here"? Where are we?", I asked, then turned back to her with a scared look."Am I dead?"
She did'nt say anything, just smiled at me and held her hand out, so I slowly took it and she lead me to sit down beside her on the porch swing.
"Now Jessica, we don't have much time, so we need to use it wisely", she said."I want you to know...what happened 11 years ago on the bridge...I don't blame you...it was my time to go..."
I finally tore my eyes away from hers and looked at the floor shaking my head.
"Dad should have never been driving that night", I said through a shaky breath, then looked back up at her."It was'nt. It was'nt your time."
She just smiled and wiped my cheek with her hand and held my face.

"We should'nt talk about these things", she said, then a big smile crossed her face."So tell me about this boy I always see you with."
I scoffed out a laugh, then sniffed and closed my eyes, shaking my head.
"You obviously mean Cody", I said and looked at her again, and she nodded.
"Yes!That's him!Now", she said as she crossed her legs on the swing, like she always did when she was happy or excited about something and then she faced me."Tell me all about him! He seems to have a great interest in you- and something tells me you do as well."
"I wish he did", I rolled my eyes and did the same.
"Mmm, something tells me your wrong about that-I mean, given the fact he went against Alice's orders for him to not give as many pints of blood as he did for you-knowing it could not end well for him", she smirked as she leaned her arm on the back of the swing.

"What?", I said shocked and she nodded still smirking."He loves you, he just never told you."
"He does?", I raised an eyebrow and she nodded smiling.
"And can you blame him?Your gorgeous", she smiled and brushed some hair out of my face and I smiled.
"Wait you said he gave me blood?", I said.
"Yep,4 pints- going against Alice's recommendations", she rolled her eyes."He passed out, but that was 5 days ago, he's alright now."
"Five days ago?", I said confused."How long have I been asleep?"
"Almost a week", she sighed.
I stared at her a long time, before I sat up and put my elbows on my knees, with my head in my hands.

"Am I dead?", I asked again, looking at her over my shoulder.
She looked from me to the ground, with a sad smile playing on her lips, then she sat up and sat beside me.
"Let me put it this way...how much do you love this boy?", she said.
"More than anything", I said without a second thought and she smiled.
"Then you need to go back", she said.
"But-"
"No...Jessica, you belong there...you belong with him", she said."You should see him right now...he's a mess with you... he's a mess without his 2nd in command!"

I shook my head at her, and sighed at the floor, but then she held her hand out to me.
"Take it...I need to show you something", she said.
I looked at her for the longest time before I looked down at her hand again.
"Come on", she laughed.
I looked at her again and smiled a little, but took it.
Not a second later, we were in a dark room.
I looked around the room and found there was a bed in the corner, and about 8-10 were standing around it.
"Go ahead", my mom whispered in my ear, then pushed me forward some letting her hands leave my shoulders.

I looked back at her and she nodded for me to, so I turned back around and looked at the ground of people, but took a step forward.
I walked up behind one of the people I recognized as Kurt and I stood behind him, looking over his shoulder to see a sight that was just horrific.
There I was, laying in the bed in the trauma room of our hangout.
"Kurt?Kurt!!", I said and waved my hand in front of him.
"He cant hear you sweetheart", Mom said, so I looked away from him and down at myself in the bed.
I was pale, dead-looking, but I looked peaceful just laying there.
I was hooked up to an I.V., and a blood bag that our lead trauma doctor here Alice was constantly replacing with another bag of blood after my body sucked it up.

All of a sudden, everyone who was standing around, turned and left the room, but Kurt walked right through me, not aware I was there.
I turned to see why they had all left in such a hurry, and here came Cody.
He looked terrible.
He looked as though he had'nt gotten any sleep in days, he had a white T-shirt on with blood spots on it here and there, and a bunch of holes in each of his arms where it looked like they had taken blood.
Not only that, but his eyes were big, red and puffy as though he'd been crying for days.
"Cody?", I said as he walked passed me, not knowing I was there.
He sat beside me on the bed and I stood beside him, putting my hand on his shoulder, looking down his arm at all the needle marks.

"Oh God...I'm gunna kill him if he gives me anymore blood", my voice cracked and I held my hand up to my mouth.
I watched as he brushed some hair away from my pale face and then he grasped my hand, bringing it up to his mouth so he could kiss it before rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.
I knelt down beside him so I could see his face he just stared at me in the bed blankly.
I heard someone walk in and I turned to see Alice came in and was on the other side of the bed.
"Cody?", she said, and he did'nt answer."Cody...we can't take anymore transfusions from you...we've been doing it for days now, and its not good for your body...I know you dont want to, but-"
"I'm not giving up on her!!",Cody cut her off as his voice cracked, then he looked back down at me.
"I know...I understand you don't want to... but you may need to start considering your options...you may have to let her go", she said and her words hit me like a thousand knives.

I was dying...
I was dying and there was nothing Cody could do about it.
I can't keep doing this to him-if he gives one more drop of blood, he will die.
Looking back and forth between Cody and I, I growled then jumped up and walked around Cody towards my mom.
"Mom-I cant let him keep doing this to himself!!He's killing himself-CODY IS KILLING HIMSELF!!",I started bawling and I threw my hands towards him.
"Oh honey", she said shaking her head and pinning some hair behind my ear.
"Mom I need to come with you-I can't stay-Cody WILL die",I begged.
"But if you leave, what will Cody do?",she pointed out.

A tear slid down my face as I stared at her, taking a step forward.
"Mom...if I don't go...Cody will kill himself over me-giving me blood everyday-four times a day", I sobbed.
"Honey...do you realize if you leave, what that would do to him?", she said, and I shook my head, letting tears fall."Honey...as much as I would love to have you with me, you need to stay. You deserve so much more. You have your whole life ahead of you. You have Cody. And you have Angel to help look out for."
"But I'll never see you again", I cried.
"Ohhh that's not true sweetheart", she smiled sadly and brushed my hair away from my face again."Im always with you...you may not see me, but I'm always there."
I looked at her for the longest time, then I turned and looked at Cody.
"If I stay...how good is the chance of me surviving this?", I said and turned back to her and she still smiled.

"That's up to you, baby", she said."You gotta depend on yourself for that one-you have to decide whether or not you want to stay..."
I looked over at Cody again, and a couple more tears slid down my face.
"Stay",she said.
I have to...
I have to for Cody and Angel...
I turned back to her, biting my lip and shaking my head.
"I'm gunna miss you so much", I sobbed as we threw our arms around each other.
"I will to, but remember-Im always with you...I love you", she whispered as she rubbed my back, then we let each other good and she kissed my forehead.

"I love you too", I choked out and she took my hand in her's.
"Stay", she nodded to me, then I watched her step back, our hands slowly being torn away from each other, then she disappeared.
"Stay", I said to myself.
I turned towards Cody and knelt beside him, holding his free hand that was on his knee, and even though he did'nt know I was there, I squeezed it.
I have to stay.
I have to find a way to stay.
For Cody.
For Angel.
I have to.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and rested my elbow on my knee, holding my head up with my free hand.
"Im staying", I whispered to myself.