I Don't Need Your Help - shizaya (completed)

Chapter 23

A/n so this could trigger some people. Even though I've had panic attacks before when it comes to writing about one it's harder to describe but I have tried my best! I've also wrote a new shizaya book so go check it out!

Shizuo POV
I can't believe this!
" Izaya you need your tablets that's what makes you happy!"

" I don't need them throw them out!" He says pointing at the bag, he sounds a bit shaky.

" I'm not throwing them out! What do you think I am, stupid?!"

" yes you protozan! Fine then I'll get rid of them!" He walks up to me and grabs the bag throwing it out of the window.

" Izaya what the fuck?!" I shout looking out the window.

" I've already told you I don't need nor want them can you just drop it?!" He sounds frustrated and his breathing is getting kind of weird.

He starts breathing inconsistently and stops breathing on and off, and sits on the floor. He's panicking a lot. He starts to hold his head on his hands.

I walk over to him and kneel next to him. " Izaya what's wrong?!" I ask even I'm panicking.

" can't-....Breathe" he manages to get out. He's shaking so much, and looks scared.

Then I catch on, I know what's happening. I've seen it before." Izaya I think your having a panic attack calm down" I tell him.

Now he's panicking even more! Guess I have no other choice.

I pinch the pressure point on his neck and he's out like a lightbulb.

He falls limp into my arms. He starts to calm down and starts breathing again.

I scoop him up into my arms, he's still really light. I put him on the sofa and grab a blanket from his room.

I pick him up and wrap the blanket around him and then I place him on my lap so his bed rests on my chest.

I didn't think he would panic so much over tablets, maybe he has something else on his mind, he has been stressed out a lot lately.

Izaya starts to come around, a lot less panicked this time, he groans and reaches for his neck.

Where I knocked him out has bruised, but then again I do have super human strength.

I pick up his hand and rub circles into his palm.

He sighs and buries his face into my chest. " you okay now?" I ask.

He nods and looks up at me. I brush the hair out of his face and kiss his forehead making him blush.

" why where you panicking so much? I know it's about more than just the tablets" I tell him hoping he'll be honest with me.

He sighs. "I guess...when I'm with you, I'm happy. I hate knowing that that happiness is made up or only temporary because of the tablets. I want to be actually happy... and the only way that gonna happen is if I'm still happy without my tablets." He sounds genuinely upset I feel so sorry for him.

"Because if I can't be happy.." he stops his sentence as tears fall from his eyes I hug his tight.

" because if I can't be happy you'll leave me!" He says while crying.

I'll never leave him! I love him, whether his happy, sad or anywhere in between.

" Izaya I love you! It doesn't matter if your sad or happy I'll always be here for you!" I say while hugging him.

He looks up at me confused. " h-how can you say that you love me? I-I know you don't mean it so don't lie to me!" He says still in tears.

But I'm not lying! I do love him! I love him so much!

" Izaya I'm not lying, I love you! I really really do!" I say hugging him tightly.

He cries even more. " your lying I know you are! Nobody could ever like me! Never mind love me Shizuo!" He says jumping up from my lap and walking over to the kitchen.

"EVERYONE HATES ME CANT YOU SEE THAT!" He screams at me.

I get up and walk over to him. He's holding his head in his hands and crying violently.

" Izaya I don't hate you please calm down!" I say holding my hands out on a calming manner.

"STOP LYING!" He screams grabbing a knife.