Unspoken

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The next few weeks are spent recovering from the crash. Other than my sprained ankle and minor concussion, I am completely fine. I was released from the hospital the day after being admitted, but for Declan it takes a little longer. They want to make sure his arm and ribs are healing properly, so he is forced to remain in the hospital. I spend as much time with him as possible. Even though I’m technically not supposed to be there after visiting hours, the nurses overlook it and allow me to stay with Declan overnight. It makes me feel better to have him by my side.

By the end of the week Declan is bored out of his mind. Sitting around all day watching TV isn’t exactly his idea of a good time. He practically begs the nurses to discharge him and eventually they agree. After warning him that if something doesn’t feel right to come back and scheduling an appointment to check his progress, he is allowed to leave. He can’t drive with his arm, so his mom comes to pick us up.

Declan is supposed to try and rest at home, but he doesn’t do a very good job. He is one of those people that can’t sit still, no matter what. I try to distract him by bringing over a bunch of movies for us to watch, but after watching the Notebook for the sixth time he is desperate to get out of the house.

“Look, I’m fine. My arm doesn’t even bother me at all anymore,” he says trying to convince me that he is okay to leave the house. I gently place my hand on his side, which causes him to wince. I smirk at him.

“Okay, so maybe my ribs are still a little sore, but I’ll be fine. I just need to get out of this house! If I start to feel bad, I’ll tell you, okay?” he begs. I can’t say no to the pleading look on his face and so I relent.

Since he still can’t drive and I only have my permit, we decide to just go for a walk. We stroll along the edge of the road, hands clasped together. After only walking for a few minutes I can see Declan is in pain.

“I’m fine,” he says stubbornly. I roll my eyes and start to pull him back towards his house. He reluctantly follows, but it is obvious he doesn’t want to go back. While walking past a house I notice that they have a hammock in their backyard. I smile and lead Declan to the hammock instead of to his house.

“I’m pretty sure this is trespassing,” Declan says looking warily at the house. I just laugh and hop onto the hammock, waiting for Declan to follow. He does and we lay side by side staring up at the clouds.

“Hmmm, that cloud looks like a dog,” Declan says pointing up at the sky. I squint at it trying to make out a dog, but to me it just looks like a big blob. I decide to play along, though, and point to the cloud next to it. Then I hold up my hands, flapping them like a bird.

“Yes, it’s definitely a bird,” Declan laughs. “That one there, looks just like a kangaroo on a lawnmower.”

I look at him like he is crazy and begin to crack up. He decides this is a good time to tickle me. I’m laughing so hard that tears begin to roll down my face. I try to push him away, but he refuses until I am gasping for breath. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard and I mock glare at him. This only causes his grin to widen.

“Much better than watching the Notebook for the seventh time,” he says, shuddering at the thought.

“HEY!” a man screams standing on the back porch of the house. Declan jumps off the hammock, pulling me after him.

“Sorry!” Declan yells as we cut across into the neighbors back yard. I look back to see the man’s reaction. He is shaking his head and muttering something about stupid teenagers.

We make it back onto the road and I motion to Declan to slow down. My ankle is starting to bother me and I bet he isn’t feeling that great from running either. I collapse onto the sidewalk and I cover my mouth as my body is overcome with a fit of giggles.

“What’s so funny?” Declan asks seriously. I start to think he might be mad at me, but then he can’t hide his grin any longer and sits down next to me. I lean my head against his chest and he gently strokes my hair.

“Do you think you’ll ever talk again?” Declan asks, suddenly serious. “I know why you stopped, but don’t you think it is time to move on? It’s not like you can’t talk, you just don’t.”

I consider this for a moment and then sigh into his shirt. I lift my head and to let him see my eyes, which is the only way I know how to show what I want to say. I don’t know if I can still talk. I haven’t tried and I’m scared. Scared that if I do try, I won’t be able to. For the longest time it was just easier this way, but now I don’t know what holds me back. I want to be able to talk to Declan, more than what I can do now. I want to tell him how much I love him and a million other things. I hate myself for not even trying, but every time I try to say something my mind flashes back to Caleb.

For as long as I can remember Caleb had been my best friend. We did everything together. We always used to talk at the same time and finish each other’s sentences. But now he is gone and I have no one to do that with. It doesn’t feel right to do certain things without him. I think what really stops me from talking, though, is the last thing that Caleb said. I remember staring into his pain-filled eyes as he gasped out his last words. Don’t talk, is what he said and I still don’t understand what he meant by it. I guess he was probably delirious from the severe loss of blood, but I felt like it meant something more. I listened to him and haven’t spoken since that moment. I doubt that is what he meant, but I don’t talk anyway. It was because of shock at first, but once I stopped talking I didn’t see a point in starting again. Nothing I said would matter anymore, nothing at all mattered much to me anymore. Once I decided this it felt right, to honor his last words this way. If he is never going to speak again than neither will I.