Unspoken

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

“Your not hanging out with Declan today?” my mom asks me.

I grimace and shrug my shoulders. I have been avoiding Declan all week and it is killing me. I know if I am going to break up with him I should just get it over with, but I just can’t do it. I tell myself that I’m doing it for him, but it just isn’t that simple. I think about it every second and it’s tearing me apart. When Declan came into my life everything changed and I don’t want to go back to how things were. This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

My phone beeps once again and I check to find that I have yet another text from Declan. I’ve been ignoring all of his text messages and calls because I honestly just don’t know what to say. His newest text is asking if he can see me to talk about what is going on. I know I should answer, but if I do than it will mean that it’s the end for us. Maybe if I delay it for another day Richard will move to a different state or something and I won’t have to worry about his threats anymore! Okay, so that is probably not going to happen, but I’m grasping at straws here!

In the end it doesn’t matter that I didn’t send a reply because Declan shows up at my door a few minutes later. He must have been expecting me not to answer. I take a deep breath and walk out onto the porch, quietly closing the door behind me. I can’t even look Declan in the eyes and instead stare hard at the ground.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” Declan asks, his voice is a mixture of hurt and confusion.

I shake my head sadly, afraid to glance up. I can’t give an answer to his question. If he knew this was all because of Richard’s threat he would never let me go through with this. He wouldn’t care about the fact that his life is in danger, but I do and so I have to keep it from him.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks softly.

How can he even ask that? He is the most amazing person I know and he doesn’t deserve this. I guess I need to just get it over with.

I glance up at him and what I see breaks my heart. His beautiful green eyes are filled with confusion and sadness. I guess everything I am feeling must show on my face because Declan is the one that looks away from me this time. I think he knows where this is going.

“Why?” his voice cracks. A tear trails down my face as I look at him. This could be the last time that I will ever see him. God, I hope not.

I just stare at him, at a loss for words. I don’t want to make up some excuse for why I’m breaking up with him, but I can’t tell him the truth. So I decide to do what I do best and not say anything at all.

“Answer me! I deserve at least that much!” he shouts, finally becoming angry.

I’m glad that he isn’t giving me the puppy dog eyes anymore because I was seconds away from giving in to him. Not that the cold look he is giving me now is any better. He is looking at me like he doesn’t even recognize me, which just makes my tears flow quicker. He deserves a lot more than just an answer, but I can’t even give him that. I hate Richard so much right now, I could kill him.

I shakily reach up to undo the clasp on the necklace that Declan gave me. The silver chain pools into the palm of my hand and I slowly reach over to give it back to Declan. I wish I could keep it to have something that reminds me of him, but this is the only way I know to show him that it is over. Declan looks surprised for a minute, but then his face goes blank. He takes the necklace and goes to walk off of the porch. As he walks to his truck, he glances back only once, his eyes searching mine for a reason to stay.

Suddenly I can’t take it any more and I run into the house. I slam the door closed behind me and lean back against the hard wood. I slowly sink to the floor and cry like I never have before in my life. I wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to keep myself together when everything is falling apart. It doesn’t stop the sobs from shaking my body. Somehow this hurts so much worse than when my dad died.

“Arianna?” my mom asks as she comes into the hallway.

She walks over to me, concern written all over her face. She gently puts her arms around me and just holds me. For once, she does exactly what I need her to. I sob into her shirt, until I feel enough control to stand up from the cold floor. She rises with me, looking like she is unsure what to do next.

“Do you want to be alone?” she asks me and I nod. “Well, if you want to talk, come find me.”

I’m grateful for her offer, but I still head upstairs to be by myself. She is finally acting like the mom that I have wanted for so long, but right now I’m too much of a mess to even appreciate it.

I tear my room apart searching for a sweatshirt that Declan let me borrow and I haven’t yet given back. Once I find it, I bury my face in the fabric. Declan’s scent fills my nostrils and I realize that it’s really the only thing I have left of him.

I pop in the CD of Declan’s songs, that he gave me for my birthday and curl up on my bed. The sound of Declan’s voice washes over me and the tears come quicker than ever.

Why did this have to happen? I guess I have no one to blame but myself. I was the one that started to look into Caleb’s death. I was the one that got Declan involved in the first place. My only hope is that my mom will mention to Richard that we broke up and he will leave Declan out of it from now on.

It was my fault that Declan got hurt in the accident and I feel horrible about this. I can’t let anything worse than that happen. By crashing his car into ours, Richard proved that he was serious and I’m not going to question whether he would actually hurt Declan or not. I have no doubt that he will.

Maybe this is better anyway. I mean, I already thought Declan would break up with me eventually. There is no way he would stay with me forever. I know that he loves me now, but feelings fade and I have nothing that would make him want to stay. Anyone would get sick of being with someone that you can’t even have a normal conversation with. So, maybe it was better for me to get it over with now than to wait until he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. At least, this is what I try to convince myself, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.

The thing is, now that I don’t have Declan anymore, there really isn’t anything holding me back from figuring out what happened to my brother. There is still the threat on my mother, but I really doubt that Richard will hurt her. For one thing, it would be too easy to connect him to anything involving her. Also, I have seen the way that he looks at her and even though I don’t like it, I think he genuinely cares for her. I find this kind of hard to believe since he is a psychopath, but I can’t deny it any longer. He looks like he worships her every move and somehow I know he wouldn’t do anything to harm her. That threat may have been a bluff, but he doesn’t seem to have a problem hurting me or Declan. But Declan is out of the way now and so the only one left for him to hurt is me and I can’t say that I care too much anymore.

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Okay, so i'm sorry i haven't updated in awhile, but i had finals all this week and my sister's graduation and other stuff. But school finally ended yesterday and Summer has oficially started for me!!

Also, If you're bored you could always check out my other story, Forgetting You :)  If you like this, then you will probably like it too.

Pleasee vote/comment :)