Unspoken

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Arianna, your father is dead. The words echo in my ears over and over. The world seems to spin around me and my knees begin to buckle. Just before I collapse to the ground, a pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind, pulling me closer. I hold onto the person desperately. They are the only thing that is holding me together at this point. I can tell it is Declan by his scent that floods my nose as I press my face into his shirt. He rubs my back soothingly, but has to stop to support my weight when my legs give out. He cradles me in his arms and a sob begins to build in my chest. I hold it back, though, and force myself to calm down. I need to know what happened.

I lift my tear-streaked face from Declan’s chest and turn to face my mother. Declan goes to set me on my feet, but seems to think better of it when he sees how badly I am still shaking. My mom looks at me, sadness clearly written all over her face. She isn’t freaking out nearly as much as you would think, though.

“He had a heart attack,” she caves under my demanding stare.

I close my eyes tightly, resisting the urge to bury my head back in Declan’s shirt. The sounds of sirens penetrate my daze and I look in time to see the ambulance pulling out of our driveway. A wave of nausea passes over me as I realize my father’s dead body is in it. A police officer stands nearby, looking extremely uncomfortable.

“Is there anything I can do for you, ma’am?” he asks my mom nervously.

“No, I would just be liked to be left alone,” she dismisses him.

He nods and walks to his car, sending one last pity filled look over his shoulder. My mom stands there until his car disappears from sight. Then she ushers Declan, with me in his arms, into the house. The sound of the door slamming shut behind us causes me to flinch.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” my mom says soothingly.

I hear a terrible whimpering sound and look around to see where it is coming from. My mom and Declan are both staring at me with sympathy shining in their eyes and I realize that the sound is coming from me. This is when I allow myself to let go of everything and completely lose it. Sobs rack my body and Declan looks unsure what to do. My mom hands him a box of tissues, looking as if she wants to stay around to help comfort me, but then she turns and strides out of the room.

Declan carries me over to the couch and sits with me still firmly in his arms. He tries to wipe away my tears, but they are coming so quickly that he gives up. Instead he gently strokes my hair, while whispering a bunch of nonsense meant to make me feel better into my ear.

Eventually I run out of tears and Declan hands me a tissue to wipe my face. It is a little too late now, considering his shirt is already soaked with my tears. Declan tilts my face up so that I am looking into his startlingly green eyes. He face gives away everything that he is feeling. He is hurting because I am hurting, but other than that he doesn’t mourn the man that has just died. Why would he? All that Declan knows of my father is how he has been the past few months. All of the things my father said and did recently should make me hate him. I shouldn’t be sitting here sobbing over his death, but I can’t help myself.

My father wasn’t always so cruel and heartless, the way he became over the years. Maybe he did things he shouldn’t have, like cheat on my mom, but there are good memories, too. The dream I had of Caleb the other night reminded me how much of a daddy’s girl I used to be. Before Caleb died we had a lot of fun together. He was the one that taught me how to ride a bike and waited on me day and night when I broke my leg. I used to be able to get him to do anything just by widening my blue eyes at him and pouting. At one time I truly believe he would have done anything for me. Sadly, that time was over a long time ago. Caleb’s death really messed up this family. Everyone changed so drastically after that day and nobody was ever the same again.

My mind starts to replay all of the good things that my father did for me. I don’t want to think about how just a few hours ago I had been ready to accuse him of Caleb’s death. I was probably just jumping to conclusions, but even if he was involved I’m not quite sure that I really want to know anymore. I can’t afford to let myself think about the bad things because he’s gone now and I don’t want to hate him for his mistakes. In the end he was still my father, no matter how screwed up he may have been. My lip wobbles as I stare at Declan and my eyes glaze over once again. I guess I didn’t run out of tears after all.

All of the crying must have tired me out because I wake up a few hours later. Declan is still holding me, even though it looks like he fell asleep also. I am so grateful to have him right now. I don’t know how I would deal with this on my own. I gently kiss his cheek, trying not to disturb his sleep. Then I slide off of his lap and stand up. The house is kind of cold and so I grab a blanket that I lay on top of Declan. He must have been tired because he never even twitches when I am doing all of this.

I head into the kitchen, looking for my mother, and stop when I see her. I’m facing her back, but I can see that she is on the phone. She giggles into the receiver and I feel my eyebrows furrow in confusion. Why is she laughing? Shouldn’t she be an emotional mess right now? I mean her husband just died a few hours ago.

“Yes, okay. I’ll talk to you later,” she says and hangs up the phone. She turns around and jumps slightly when she sees me standing there. “Arianna! You scared me!”

I frown at her, looking for the traces of sadness that had been so clearly etched across her face earlier. Her eyes aren’t red or swollen at all, like I know mine must be. It actually looks like she redid her makeup recently. She seems to wilt under my penetrating gaze.

“What?” she snaps.

I continue to stare at her, wondering if her tears earlier were just an act. She straightens her shoulders and gives me her best icy look. Apparently, she knows what I am thinking because I can see anger building behind her cold eyes.

“Look, you can cry all you want and pretend like he was some perfect guy, but you and I both know he was far from it,” she growls.

Of course, he wasn’t perfect, but she was married to the man for over twenty years. There had to be some reason that she was with him. Not everything could have been bad. I think about all the arguments over the years. Now that I look back I don’t ever remember seeing them kiss or show any affection towards each other. Okay, so maybe their relationship was worse than I realized. Still, you would think she would have the decency to at least be a little upset.

I look at my mom closer and notice her flushed cheeks and clenched teeth. She is pissed off and she isn’t done talking about this yet.

“Stop looking at me like that! Why do you care if I’m not bothered by his death? He wasn’t exactly a great parent to you. To me he was even worse. Do you know how many times he has cheated on me? Do you know how many times I tried to make it work, but he refused to even try to figure out our problems? I have cried enough over the man and I refuse to be sad any longer. I am finally free of him and I say good riddance!” she yells.

I think she is seriously close to cracking. Her eyes are bugging out of her head and I swear she is seconds away from throwing a kitchen knife at me. Then she surprises me by sinking to her knees as sobs rack her body. All of the anger drains out of her, leaving her a broken mess. Anger has been her glue for so long, holding her together, but now it is finally starting to come undone. I gently rest my hand on her shoulder, to let her know that I am there. This mess of a woman is all the family I really have left and I’m not going to lose her too.

**********************************************************

Sorry if this was a little boring, i promise the next chapter will be better! vote and comment please :D