Unspoken

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The next few days are pretty horrible. My mom spends all of her time making arrangements for the funeral. After her break down the other day, she is back to her old self. To her showing emotions is a weakness and if there is one thing she hates the most it is looking weak. I have a new respect for her, though, considering the fact that she allowed herself to break down in the first place. She has been a little bit nicer to me as well.

Although my father's death is painful, it is truly nothing in comparison to how things were after Caleb's death. Maybe it is because Caleb was so young or because he was such a good person and everyone liked him. My father did some terrible things and just because he is dead doesn't mean anyone is ready to forgive him. I'm honestly trying my best, though.

Declan has been with me every minute since I came home that day. His parents and my mom are allowing him to stay with me because they know it makes me feel better to have him around. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't with me. Whenever I start to think about it and get upset, he will find some way to make me laugh. Or when I wake up screaming in the middle of the night, he will hold me until I am able to fall back to sleep. I love him more than anything and honestly can't imagine my life without him. He isn't the kind of boy you date for fun and then eventually go your separate ways. He is someone I can see myself spending forever with and I really am starting to think it might be possible.

The funeral is on the following Tuesday. I am an emotional wreck the hours leading up to it. It isn't even just about my dad being dead, it is also because it brings back memories of Caleb. His was the only other funeral I have ever been to and that was one of the worst days of my life. I hadn't wanted to be there with a bunch of people crying over a boy that they hardly new, but I loved to death. I hated all of the sympathetic glances and whispers behind my back. I really don't want to go through all of that again, but I know that I have to. Declan is taking off school to go with me and for that I am more grateful than anything.

"Arianna, are you ready to go?" my mother calls.

She is standing by the door with her keys in hand. I nod my head once and follow her to her white BMW. Declan slides into the backseat beside me. The drive seems like it is never ending and the silence is deafening. Eventually we pull up to the funeral home and unload ourselves from the car. I grab onto Declan's hand tightly as we walk through the big doors.

My eyes are immediately drawn to the large mahogany casket that rests on the opposite side of the room. After spotting it, I can't seem to tear my eyes away. I'm rooted to my spot, not daring to venture any further into the room and closer to the casket. My mother, on the other hand, struts right in and starts yelling at an employee about something. She never even glances in the caskets direction.

"It'll be okay. Don't you just want to get it over with?" Declan whispers soothingly.

I nod my head shakily and slowly begin walking towards my dead father. Declan starts to hang back, but I maintain a death grip on his hand, forcing him to come with. Once I reach the casket, I take a deep breath and look down. I stare down at the man, hardly recognizing him as my father. I mean, I know that it is him and it looks like him, but something just doesn't seem right. He is wearing a black tux and is paler than death. This isn't what is bothering me, though. I thought seeing him would cause me to break down, but up to this point I haven't shed a tear. Then I realize why. The man lying in the casket isn't really my father, it's just what he left behind. A person is so much more than just their body. Without their personality they would just be empty shells, which is what I am looking at now. My father isn't there anymore, not really.

After I come to this realization, I step back from the casket and give Declan a small smile. I have a feeling this won't be as hard as I thought. I am still upset my father is dead, but I feel no connection to the body within the casket, which makes this a whole lot easier.

Even though all of this is true, I still don't want to spend anymore time than I have to in this room and so Declan and I head outside and wait for everyone else to arrive.

* * *

The viewing is not something I would like to remember. A bunch of people that I have never even seen before and a few that I have offer me and my mother their condolences. This gets really old after awhile and I almost try to sneak out to get away from everyone. Declan stops me, of course, by just the disapproving look on his face. The only people that I am actually grateful to see is Declan's parents that came to support me. His mom gives me a big hug and tells me that if there is anything she can do she will. Declan's father leads her away once she begins to tear up, though.

After the viewing everyone heads to the cemetery. The priest says a few words and then they are getting ready to lower the coffin into the ground. Before they do, I place a single red rose on the top, as does my mom. When they start to lower it my mom grips me tightly, trying not to lose it. I allow a few tears to escape, but somehow I don't feel as heartbroken as I had earlier. The funeral makes it final for me and I vow to let everything go along with my father's body. I let all of my mixed feelings of hate and love drift away and just remember him at his best.

A short-while later people begin to leave. A few come up to my mother and I one last time to tell us how truly sorry they are for our loss before meandering off to their cars. I feel someone rest their hand on my shoulder and I turn around, expecting another person that I don't know. Instead I am surprised to see Matthew Simon.

"Hey, Arianna. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am," he says, struggling with the words.

His feelings toward my father weren't exactly a secret and I'm shocked that he came at all. I give him a small hug, which he returns. "Say, you wouldn't happen to know where your mother is, would you?"

I glance around the remaining throng of people, searching for her. My eyes widen when I spot her. She looks like she is in a deep conversation with someone, but this isn't what surprised me. It is who she is talking to, none other than Richard Sims.

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Hey everyone, soo i just wanted to say that i haven't ever actually been to a funeral and i don't know too much about them. Soo if something doesnt really make sense or isn't how things really are than just let me know. Also, for my English class we have to write a one act play so i will have to get together with my group a lot and i probably won't have too much time to write. I don't know when the next time i will be able to update, but hopefully by Friday.

Anyway, Thanks for reading this far :) Pleasee vote or comment!!