she didn't love me, did she? ✔

a date with Yuju (1)

Today i had to bring Myung Soo again to hospital. His fever is rising again and i had to bring him there. I felt tired and sleepless, worrying about him all night. There is a recording today, but i already asked the staff to let me go.

Autumn morning is so chilly. I hug Myung Soo tightly, afraid if his sickness become worse. I looked right and left, trying to see any taxi come. Then one taxi seemed to be empty, i decided to call out to it. I entered quickly.

"To 'A' Hospital please,"

💁💁💁

I looked at his sleepy eyes, lying on the hospital bed. Unfortunately, he had to stay in the hospital for three days at least. Doctor said he has an abnormal fever and it may take a long time to figure it out.

I sighed, and look at my phone again.

Hm?

There it is again, my chest tighten up as i face my phone screen.

Message from Yuju.

Yuju : Hey, how are things going on concert? Sorry i can't come.. as for not going to concert, i'll see you to hear some stories on concert! You're not busy right?

Me : Yeah, um.. i'm sorry Yuju, i can't meet up with you now.. i'm not busy but i'm in the hospital right now, sorry okay?

Minutes later after i send it to her, my phone is ringing and Yuju is calling me.

"Seokmin! Are you.. are you alright? I'm sorry, i shouldn't be panicking, but--"

"Hey, hey, shh it's alright, i'm fine! Myung Soo is sick and he had to hospitalized for at least three days," i interrupted her. Then, i heard a sigh of relief on another line.

"Gosh, i thought you had an accident on concert! What hospital are you in?" she asked. Dumbfounded, i told her not to come because i afraid to burden her.

"You don't have to worry about me, besides i don't have a hectic schedule today," she assured. I sighed, feeling beaten.

"Alright if you insist, at 'A' Hospital, be careful on your way here okay?" then, she hung up.

I sat on the side of the bed, feeling mixed. I feel excited but at the same time i feel confused. Happy that she will be here, and why am i happy?

💙💜💚

"Hello!" a feminine yet clear voice echoed from the door. It's her.

I opened the door and greeted her. She looked very beautiful even with her leather jacket on.

"Don't be loud! He is sleeping," i told her with my voice lowered down. She nodded with a smile.

"Here, bought him a chicken porridge, but well he is sleeping now," she put the porridge on the table.

"Thank you so much, Yuju! It's okay, there is a microwave in here, i can reheat it anytime," i smiled at her.

"Oh, wow that's good," she pulled her face away from me to Myung Soo. I, too look at Myung Soo's face who is now blinking his eyes, awaken by our conversation. Or maybe Yuju's voice?

"Aa!" he squealed right after he woke up when he sees Yuju.

"Hi, there!" She smiles brightly at him. I laughed at his reaction. He is really into her.

"So, a good timing to eat now i guess?" she smiled after i said that. Of course she wants to see him eat the soup so it won't taste bad later.

"Myung Soo-ya, do you hungry?" she took the soup and open the lid to let the smell comes out. It makes Myung Soo get closer to it and tried to reach the soup.

"Woah Yuju, he wants it!" i gave her a thumbs up. She took a small table spoon of soup and carefully put it into Myung Soo's mouth which already opened.

"Say Aa..," he took it to his mouth and enjoyed it happily. Yuju seemed glad and tried to feed him again.

And she succeed until he ate it all!

"He will sleep quickly after having lunch," i told her. She nodded while wiping Myung Soo's mouth with her napkin.

"I see, i'm glad he can rest more in here," Yuju said while looking at Myung Soo. I smiled, a bit sad.

"And i'm the one to blame for making him in here," i looked up and heaved a sigh. She look at me, feeling symphathy.

"Don't blame yourself too much, Kyeom," she tapped my shoulder. Suddenly, i feel a tear coming from the corner of my eyes. It stings.

"It.. was hard, i can't imagine living a life without him..," my tears finally falling down, i can't hold it anymore.

I want to keep strong, i don't want to be weak, but here i am. Feeling the weakest and hopeless. In front of her.

Then, she grab my shoulders and rubs it, to make me feel secure. To make me want to depend on her more.

I burst out my tears, enough to not to be heard.

"There, there, it's alright.. everything will be fine," her words somewhat calmed me and i started to feeling relieved. Then, my tears gradually stopped.

With still my hoarse voice, i told her earnestly.

"Thanks,"

🌸🌸🌸

I goes out from the hospital room with her. I felt awkward but i think she doesn't feel anything at all. Written on her face, as always. Maybe it's okay? Why am i thinking so much into it?

"Uh, what will you do after this? Going back to dorm? Or practice?" i asked her hesitantly. She shakes her head.

"Nope, none of them, i want to take a walk for a bit," she said.

"Well, count me in! I want to refresh my mind too, you know.. things been hard lately," i shrugged and she laughed.

"Haha, okaay! What should we do today?"