Bojinia

Chapter 19

Dressed all in black people started to leave, the burial is over, Jenna's deep in the ground.

I can't believe I will never hug her again, I'll never see her smile, today I lost everything, I can feel a huge emptiness inside of me crushing me and whenever I think of what happened I get this tightness in my chest that makes me feel like I am choking to death,
Apparently everyone who loves me just goes away somehow, my biological parents left me, and my mother died!

Mare took care of Ress's body and the other two guys who still live, I didn't care about the details, it'll never make a difference anymore,

"I am so sorry, Arya" Rina said, she stood at the door, I was at home packing my clothes.

"Come" she ran to my arms she cried but I refused to, I've cried enough and Jenna never liked it when I cried.

"Come live with me, Arya" she said as she let go of me.

"You're not scared of me after what happened Rina?" I asked warily,

"No, I know you will never hurt me" she said in a deep voice, I pointed a finger to the gauze on her neck and temples.

"That was never you"

"It was because of me, Rina" I whispered "Jenna's not here because of me Rina" I looked down as I spoke

"No, don't blame yourself, Arya look at me!" I lifted my head and looked at her,

"You didn't kill her, Arya"

"I can't stay with you anyway, I will go with Mare." At least they understand me, who i am and what i do, doesn't matter with them.

"Are you coming back home?" she asked looking at me as if trying to see through me,

"One day, it's my house after all" I smiled at her.

Someone cleared his throat "Are you ready?" Zander asked, I nodded

We went downstairs Mare was sitting in the living room when she saw us coming she walked to the door,

We dropped Rina at her house and headed straight to Mare's, once in my room I threw myself on my bed and stared at the ceiling half an hour later i heard a knock on the door and mare came in, she sat next to me on the bed.

"I know, you might hate me and you have every reason to" she said "If it weren't for me, none of this should have happened, I am sorry " she finished.

"I don't blame you Mare. So, don't blame yourself" I looked at her eyes and I could see that she doesn't believe me. I already blame myself, she doesn't have to,

"I understand, you faked your death to save Zander, you wouldn't have done that if it weren't for the king, and the king killed Ress's family, so Ress blamed you and he..... " I put a hand on her slim shoulders "Just know this, I don't blame you, I blame Ress and the king"

Mare Gave me a hug and left.

I wish I could go back in time and prevent what happened, who knows what else awaits me!
I couldn't sleep, and the headache was killing me, i went downstairs, made some coffee, took painkillers and went to the backyard,
It was lightened only by the moon, the sky was clear and the stars were shining brightly, i saw Zander sitting on a chair and staring at the sky. It looks like i am not the only one who can't sleep.
"Your highness" i said mocking him
Zander turned around and glared at me,
"Shut up" he whispered annoyed
I took a chair next to him and stared at the stars,
when i look at the stars i get this peaceful optimistic feeling that everything will be alright, that tomorrow will be better than today,

"I'm sorry " Zander said in a hushed pained voice
"What for?"
"For not acting fast enough, if i was faster.... I'm sorry Arya" his voice was filled with guilt and pain,
"Zander, stop!" He was looking away from me " look at me!"
He raised his eyes to mine.

"You tried to save her Zander" i sighed "you did what you can"

"But i." I cut him of "No more Zander, don't think about it again"
We stayed in silence for a while, until he spoke again
"Did you eat anything today?"
"i am drinking coffee, does it count?"
He stood up " No, come with me"
We went to the kitchen, he pulled a plate from the fridge and heated it in the microwave,
"Pasta at midnight really?" I said as he put the plate in front of me and heated another for him
"It's breakfast, lunch and dinner" he shrugged

"Did you know about your father before?"
Zander chewed slowly and said

"I knew he died before my birth, i know my mother loved him so much, she still carry his picture with her, but i never knew he was a prince"

"At least you knew something" i said pushing my fork in the pasta

"What about your parents?" He asked

"I don't remember them, Jenna is the only parent i have..had "
"Can you promise me something?" Zander asked

"That depends on the thing?" I said

" don't put yourself in danger like this again, you could have told me Arya before you ran there, if you told me, i wouldn't have stopped you but i would have come with"

" they Wanted Mare Zander, and i wouldn't have risked her life"

"So you run all by yourself, what if you were caught what if you died" he was shouting now
"I did the right thing to protect both of you, so stop shouting at me!" I shouted back and walked Away from him,

Who does he think he are to shout at me, my family's life was at risk and i couldn't risk his,
I went to my room and slam the door shut, i pulled one of Jenna's shirts, i hugged it and i cried till i fell asleep.
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Salam alikum everyone, i hope u liked this part if u did don't forget to vote and comment

S~