Irregular

Chapter 10

           

It's been about 6 days since Kayden showed up here. He is still asleep. I keep thinking he is dead, but he isn't. I'm making sure he doesn't die either.

I have the same routine every day now. I get hardly any sleep until early in the morning whenever I hear Dugger wrestling around in the kitchen. This is usually at 5:00am whenever he gets up and goes on a run. After that, I usually fall asleep for about an hour, then I am woken up by the pirate singing the theme song for SpongebobSquarepants. Then I get up out of the chair beside Dugger's bed (where Kayden still remains) that I brought in from the kitchen and head to find food. Chocolate pop tarts and SpongeBob with Marah is what my mornings consist of. And believe it or not, I actually enjoy SpongeBob now. Something about it is comforting. Then after breakfast, I usually go sit in the room with Kayden and read The Outsiders by S.E Hinton. It's a good book. Not as good as Dugger says, but it's good. I've been trying to convince him to read The Mortal Instrument series, but he's hooked on Ponyboy.

After a while, I might go and watch television with Marah. I need to go hunting very soon. I haven't been hunting since I went with Kirk. Heck, I haven't even stepped outside since I've gotten here. I've just been filling up on pop tarts. I know soon, however, that won't hold me over. Even the twins non beating hearts are beginning to sound good enough to me.

I've been spending most of my time with Marah. She reminds me of Kirk with all of her innocence. Being with her helps me pretend I'm back home with dad and my brothers with Kayden actually awake.

I miss them.

I know I never seem like I do, but it's better for me to pretend nothing is different. I don't want to be the person who lives in the past and never sees the present until it's too late. Five years ago, I was thinking about Macy and Andrew. I was living in the past with them and thinking about how I wish I could just see them once more. Take pictures with them and talk about traveling to different places while eating quesadillas and pickles. Now listen to me. I'm mourning the past that I didn't even enjoy because I was mourning what my life was before that. I never lived in the moment with my dad and my brothers. We are always wishing for things we have right in front of us and we don't even notice until it's gone. I am trying to do that here. But, this isn't the same. I just wish I knew when I was living in moments like I was with Kirk or Macy and Andrew. I think I would enjoy them more.

Things have been different around here as well. Everyone seems to be keeping to themselves. I haven't seen Mae since her and I got into a fight. I want to see her, though. I want to apologize. I have no problem with Mae, it's her sister I don't like. I honestly feel bad. I fought back whenever I knew she was just protecting her sister. I get that. I just don't know how well it would go if I tried to talk to her.

Damien and Jaley haven't spoken to each other since Kayden showed up. I don't really know how much talk is normal for them, but it still seems weird. Jaley just hangs out in her room with Mae. Damien stays outside most of the time. I don't know what he's doing exactly, but he goes outside in the mornings and doesn't come back until dinner, which is usually hot pockets and canned green beans.

Lymiex keeps to herself as well. She is not mad at anyone, she's actually the kindest person I've ever spoken to. She reminds me of my mom in a way. She's very caring and patient with everyone, even Jaley. She and I have talked a few times. I know that she wants to have kids one day because she loves kids and she believes her purpose is to care for other creatures. However, since she doesn't have anyone to have kids with, she just takes care of us and her garden. She only grows fruit, she hates vegetables.

"Only sweet things!" is what she said whenever I asked her about it. "If you are what you eat, then I want strawberries!"

She enjoys her garden more than anything, and she loves to share the stuff she grows. Every time I am reading, she will bring me a bowl of either watermelon, blueberries, strawberries, or mix of the three from her garden. They are seriously the best fruit I have ever had.