Meet and Greet (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

Morning comes and I awake with the biggest hangover of life.  I sit up in bed and rub my temples, squinting my eyes in agonizing pain from the headache.  I look down next to me at Harry still sound asleep.  I believe it is his "day- off" from concerts and appearances.  I crawl out of the bed as slowly and carefully as possible, I don't want to wake him because he probably rarely gets a chance to sleep in.  I decide on taking a shower in hopes of washing away the grimy feeling left on me from the club last night and to shake off this excruciating hangover.  I strip down and stand outside of the shower watching the water fall and steam rise up to the ceiling.  I almost hesistate to get in because I'm afraid the shower will not only wake me up from my drowsiness, but from this beautiful dream I'm in.  I step in and the hot water massaging my back feels amazing, and here I am awake in this "dream."  I smile slightly to myself.  

I continue to get dressed in the only clothes I have with me and suddenly become aware that I'll have to leave today.  Go back home to my sucky reality with my awful mother and my boring life.  Am I just supposed to wake Harry, say "I'm out,"  and leave?  I didn't plan for this because I never thought in a million years I'd be in a position like this.  Having to leave Harry Styles after fooling around for a couple nights.  I sit at the desk in the room and look over at Harry in a deep peaceful slumber.  He's in only a pair of boxer briefs with a thin sheet drapped over his body.  His arm grips the sheets, holding them close to him, replacing me as something to cuddle.  I scan my eyes over his inked biceps and sigh out loud not wanting to go back home.  I've been so care free away from that place, but I know realisticly I'll have to go back.  

Harry's eyes flutter open thanks to me sighing out loud.  He turns on his back and rubs his eyes a few times, then his soft green eyes land in my direction.  I smile, still sitting at the desk and facing him.  I become embarassed and nervous when I realize that it's noticeable that I was looking at him when he was sleeping, wow I'm such a creep.  I turn away.  

"Sorry, did I wake you?"  I ask timidly, I dread thinking about leaving.  

"Yeah you did.  Thanks a lot."  He says in a harsh tone.  I look down at my feet hating myself for making him mad.

"Hey... Autumn..."  His tone gets softer.  "You know I was just kidding right?"  He assures.  Normally I would have picked up on the kidding part but I'm not really myself right now.  My mind is too occupied by thoughts of how I'm going to just leave. 

"Oh.  Heh."  I fake a laugh.

"Is something wrong?"  Harry picks up on my odd behavior.  I never have been too great at hiding emotions.  "Why are you acting like that?"  He questions.

"I'm just a little bummed about having to leave today..."  There's no point in hiding it, so I just tell him.

"Leaving?"  His face falls, but then he catches his emotions and I can no longer read his expression.  "I guess that does suck...."  Oh.  Guess he doesn't really care that I'll probably never see him again.  Of course he doesn't, I remind myself how many girls are more than willing to do the same with him that I have.  I tell myself to just face it and let him move on, I mean what was I expecting?  After all it was just sex.

"Yeah, so... I guess I'll be going now."  I half ask, half state.  "Yeah, I'm going now."  I assure.  The room becomes awkward and silent.  Something doesn't feel right so I look over to Harry as I walk towards the door.  He doesn't seem to really care, he just plays with his fingers, uninterested.

"You gonna properly say goodbye or what?"  I try to tease to lighten the mood.  Also because I kind of want one last kiss from him if this is the last time this will ever happen.  I hadn't known the last time our lips connected was going to be the last time.  

He sits up in his bed and motions for me to walk over to him, so I do so.  He presses his lips to mine and my eyes flutter shut.  Guess thats the last time that will ever happen to me.  When our lips part, Harry rests his hands on my hips but then removes them quickly after.  I cant tell if his expression is upset or uninterested.  Most likely just uninterested so I back away and walk towards the door again.

"Bye.."  I say awkwardly and kind of in the form of a question.  I turn the door handle and pull the heavy door open.

"Bye Autumn."  he calls out nonchalantly. 

While in the elevator, I send a text to my sister that I'm on my way out as she is waiting out front for me.  For a brief momment I feel a sting of sadness in me but I don't allow it.  I knew it was stupid of me to get involved with someone who would care a lot less about me than I do about them.  No, I'm fine, It's fine.  I'm just a fan and he has a busy life, he can't be bothered with some random girl.  Plus it's been fun and that's the only reason we did it, it was nothing.  His words replay in my head from that one night, "There's something about you... Addictive..." and how he said he knows I'm not using him like other girls have for fame.  I brush it off and I leave it at just being a quick little fling. Nothing more, yeah that's it.

I know how I am, I always fall fast... way too fast or catch feelings for someone easily.  It's such a bad quality that I hate about myself, so as soon as I start cultivating feelings, I push it aside.   Knowing that most guys are scum anyway who only want one thing, they are never the ones who get crushed.  It's easier that way and saves the trouble of me being crushed.  So for example, if I happen to  run into my celebrity crush who I just about obsessed over and we happen to casually fool around, I'll most likely catch some sort of feeling...  Just push it aside because I'm better off doing that.  This specific example is one I hadn't ever considered, never imagined I'd ever need to.