Forever

chapter 17(raya)

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The walk home was brutal.

Lots of slippery pavement, and cold gusts of wind.

So when I got home, I immediately shrugged out of my  heavy winter coat, and kicked off my snow-filled boots, heading into the shower for a nice warm bath.

After that I went to sleep, praying that I wouldn't be disturbed.

However, for the life of me, I couldn't.
I kept tossing and turning,for what felt like hours, and I had no idea why.

"Argh!!!! What the hell?!!!"

I'm so tired that I could sleep for an eternity, so what was keeping me from falling asleep?

Will.

His name popped into my head against my better judgement.

It had nothing to do with him.

I had nothing to do with him.

Nor did I want anything to do with him.

At the same time, I had gotten so used to lying that it was like a second skin to me now.

Stop lying to yourself.

"Argh!!!" I screamed, rolling over and grabbing my phone off of the bedside table, dialing the only person I could possibly talk to at this hour.

"You know, you have awful timing. I'm about to board my plane back to the states, Ray." Max teased on the other end, while I heard the chatter of people in the background.

"Oh. Okay."

"No,no, go ahead; if you of all people are calling me at this hour, it must be important. Did something happen?"

"That's what it always is isn't it?"I sighed,sitting up in bed.

"You ran into him again, didn't you?" Max answered, sounding somewhat irritated.

"Yeah."

"Thought so. Like I said, it's not a coincidence that y'all met on that bridge." Max replied matter of factly, and I just knew that he was probably giving me his special "you're an idiot" look .

"Whatever Max. Its just messing with my mind right now and I cant sleep."

"What happened?"

I quickly summed up what happened earlier, while Max went silent on the other end.

"He was with someone else?!"

"Yes."

"Someone who's the complete opposite of you?"

"That's what I said."

"Sounds to me like he's trying his damnest to distance himself from you. It doesn't look like it's working though." Max responded with a hint of mirth in his tone.

"This isn't funny, Max!"

"Oh but it is. Y'all are playing this game of cat and mouse, and getting hurt for no reason! Just let whatever is going to happen, happen. Stop running from it."

"There's nothing there.Nothings going to happen."I answered firmly, as anxiety suddenly blossomed in my stomach.

"Nothings going to happen, or you don't want it to?" Max replied curtly.

"Both."

"With that attitude, you're going to be a spinster."

"You say it like he's the last man on earth. Newsflash:he's not."

"He may not be the last man on earth, but he is for you, and you know it. But hey, keep on ignoring me; this ain't gonna end the way you'd like it to, Ray. I've got a feeling that God has a different plan."

"I'm hanging up now."

"Good night, Ray."

"Night."

I immediately hung up the phone and placed it on my bedside table. I shouldn't have called him.

I should've known what he was going to say . Unfortunately  I found comfort in calling Max whenever things went wrong.

I sat silently in the darkness of my room, staring at the door deciding on what to do next.

I sighed.

"I need some air."