Forever

chapter 35:Will

Author's note:
Hi everyone! I know, it's been a long time.
I haven't updated since February?!

Life hasn't exactly been a cakewalk for any of us this year.
But I hope that this update can take your mind off of things for a while, since Ms.Rona seems to be sticking around for a while. Thank you guys for the love, and I hope to not go so long without an update again.
Enjoy!

Xoxo
______________________________

Please let this go right for once.

I'm gripping the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles are turning white.

She's here.

In my car .

Looking radiant as ever.

Looking like she belonged there.

It's all I've ever wanted these past few months.

But what I want isn't important right now.

She deserves answers.

Answers as to way she's caught in the middle of my problems. Problems that were created by one Anastasia Dillard.

The girl who couldn't let go.

Who didn't want to let go.

It's unfair.

For both of us. More so her than me. She should've never been involved in the first place.
And she wouldn't have been if it hadn't been for my idiotic decisions. I was being rash in a way that was unbecoming of my endless years on Earth. Shouldn't I have been wiser? Couldnt I have been?

But I guess now isn't the time for hindsight.it is 20/20 after all.

I can't take back what I've done, no matter how much I'd like to.

I can only look forward now.

The drive is mostly silent, except for the roar of the engine.I'm all too aware of her in the passenger seat.Looking everywhere except at me. I shouldn't expect anything else or more. Since the moment we met, I have been nothing but a thorn in her side.

For a brief moment I wonder if I make her feel anything besides sheer disgust.

Not that I blame her.

I'd hate me too if I were her.

Stop it Will. You're going down that path again.

The bitter taste of self loathing keeps making itself known on my tongue. I try my best to push it back down long enough to make it to our intended destination safely. Like an unbalanced scale, it keeps swaying in the direction of whatever weighs heavier, and I can feel myself losing.

Stop it!

I need a break.

I make another silent, fruitless prayer to the creator that this would end, but I know that it's falling on deaf ears. For how many millennia have I prayed to no avail?

I take a deep breath, and feel a hand on my arm.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

Her concern is touching. But it feels less like genuine concern and more of an obligatory gesture to my addled mind.

"I'm fine." I manage to sputter out, eyes focused on the road ahead.

This is REALLY going to be a long drive.

XXXXXXXXX

When we finally arrived at our destination, a small house on the fringes of the city, I shut off the car, and got out, breathing a sigh of relief.

I was glad to be out of the vehicle, and safely at our destination, despite my self hating urges to drive the car through a guardrail.

We're alone, away from prying eyes and ears .

In theory, I could just tell her EVERYTHING here and no one would be the wiser. The immortality, the fact that I'm inexplicably drawn to her.

Or the fact that I'm slowly starting to feel more human around her.

I could tell her. I want to.

God knows how much I do.

But I know that I can't.

I mindlessly walk to the front door, the worn keys jangling in my hand.

"Quaint." I hear her comment behind me.

"It's kind of a sanctuary from the stress." I say, careful to not say much more than that.

She makes a little noise of acknowledgement behind me, as I unlock the door and swing it open.

Briefly, I wonder if this will be the end.

Or would it be a beginning?