Swords of the Soul

Hello

I stared at the name on the small screen in front of me. What the hell could he possibly want? He was the one who trapped us here after all. He was the one who...
I closed my eyes for a moment, hearing a voice deep inside.

Shira...

I immediately opened my eyes, angry. I tapped the button harshly to answer the call. Soon enough, Akihiko Kayaba's face appeared. He was standing in front of a white wall. He was obviously using a Nerv Gear to make this call, for I didn't recognize the area of where he was. I had been to many places with him and... my father. The man who used to be my father.
Akihiko gave me an emotionless smile that he must have assumed would have soothed me. He opened his mouth to speak, a nearly playful and taunting tone in his voice.
"I hear you go by Shiramane now."
I clenched my fists. "You know that's my name. I was named that as a Beta Tester, and I'll stay with this name until the day I die." That might be sooner than I'd like it to be, if I'm still stuck in here.
He only blinked, smile holding strong. Mocking me. "You seem to have grown. Has a few months really been so long?"
"You could always visit me in the hospital," I crossed my arms. "I know I was moved there. I nearly fell unconscious many times the day after your introduction. I felt sick." He only sighed, looking away. "Or," I narrowed my eyes, "is work too important and 'precious' for you to visit someone who is nearly like family?"
He looked at me again, smile gone. "It's not work, Shira. It's... something more."
I narrowed my eyes again. "Are you trying to find ways to escape the country? Cover this all up? Hide the fact about who we are? Who my father is?"
He gave me a look and his eyes were like stone. "That last one is your secret and yours alone." I knew he was right. How was he not? I didn't want people to know my father worked on the Nerv Gear and Aincrad projects. It would put too much pressure on me if everyone just came around with questions every single second. My brain would shut down. Not to mention it would make me a strong target for assassination or even bait for my father and Akihiko Kayaba. "Listen, you've always been good at that, right?" He smiled. But once I looked away, it disappeared again. He took a breath. "Look, Shira-"
My eyes widened. "Shut up!" I suddenly snapped at him, looking back. He was about to say my name IRL. I hated it now. If he said it, my name would have no meaning. It would be like throwing it in a wood chipper.
Useless. It would be useless.
"You have no right to say my name anymore!" I barked, throwing my glove to the right and against the wall. It made contact and landed with a loud thud, so hard I was given a purple icon after it hit the wall;
Inanimate Object.
He stared at me. "Shiramane, what would your father say."
"Shut up."
"What would he look at you with right now."
"Shut up... please..."
"Would he still welcome you with open arms?"
"I said BE QUIET!!" I screamed, hands flying to my head. I fell to my knees, nearly breaking down.
The screen tilted so Akihiko Kayaba was still looking at me. All that could be seen of him was his chest up. "Of course he would. He would love you. He would tell you to be safe and happy. He would look at you with love and happiness at knowing you were his."
"Then why am I here?!" I yelled, hands flying in front of me, palms open and faceup with confusion. "If he wants me to be happy, then why am I stuck here?!"
Akihiko Kayaba couldn't find the words to even respond to my frantic yelling. He finallt came up with something. "He says he loves you, Shiramane."
"It's one-sided," I mumbled.
"I know. He does too. He-"
"Stop being the messenger for a man whose practically dead. He's dead to me even though his body continues on living and smiling." There was silence from the creator. "I can't ever look at him the same way again. Not even if you paid me; brainwashed me, even. I wouldn't change my decision. My heart's emotions cannot be changed or tampered with anymore, Akihiko..." I hung my head.
He tried finding more words to speak. He finally found more again. "Shiramane, the Beta Tester who made it through all one hundred floors Sword Art Online's Beta stage. Isn't that who you are? Young girl, you are not faint of heart; you are not weak-spirited; you are not one to lpse control of your temper. You control your temper and lash it out on your own free will. You have a want for helping others and making them smile. What happened to that girl?"
I didn't answer right away, only bit my lip. I frowned slightly. "She's still here. Just not for you."
Akihiko Kayaba slowly nodded, eyes closed. He understood. He understood my fondness of hik had changed. He had been kind to me, just like my father had. "I can see that. And I understand completely, Shira. But please do understand what I am saying too." I listened. "Even if you don't love your father, he still loves you." His eyes narrowed slightly. "Now, child, about your Nerv Gear."
My heart practically stopped and my eyes went completely wide, staring at the floor. My hands rested above my heart as I silently breathed in. "... what about it," my voice was a whisper. The dark room grew eerily darker as Akihiko Kayaba gained a glint in his eye.
"It's unique. Shiramane, if you die... you get a second chance."
A second chance. Was that really what I truly wanted? More chances? More times to just see the ones I love die?
As if reading my mind, he spoke up. "If you are to die, you are the one player in the game to get a respawn; but only once. I intend for you to use it wisely and know you will not fail or misuse this gift your father granted you."
My father... gave me this gift?

He calls this a gift? Ha! That jerk doesn't even know.
... but why does my heart hurt?

"He knows you and your Beta Tester friend - the 'Beater' - have the courage to work together and make it out. You did it on your own the first time, but now it won't be so easy. Become the swordswoman you once were all that time ago, and journey to save these lives." He stared at me for a moment. "Do not misuse this gift, Shira. But just know that if you do, your father will still love you." His smile disappeared again. "... but, he would be heartbroken. Because you would have died." If I fail a second time, I... die?

I'll die? That... heheh, that can't be right.

"Know that you have a strong heart. I know we will talk again soon." The image flickered before he seemed to nearly smirk. "And one more thing. Send my regards to your friend who passed; Diabel. I know he is still kicking around in that Nerv Gear of yours." The screen flickered off, disappearing and leaving me in the dark.

Diabel...

I let out a wail as I slowly started crying, grasping the sides of my head tightly.

I've failed you...

I have a secret to tell. But you mustn't tell anyone; not a soul.
I knew Diabel IRL. We were close friends. I hadn't heard from him in so long, and then, now... I'd realized it was him the moment he died.

Why did I fail you...

I can't give up now. I have to fight. I'll... I'll fight and win. For Diabel. For my friend. For everyone.

Please give me strength... Diabel...

I slowly opened my eyes, tearstains on the wood of my floor beneath me. I thought of Akihiko Kayaba. My father. Everyone who angered me. I imagined them all standing next to each other.
Then just Akihiko.
A small smirk appeared on my face as I let out a small, hollow and sad chuckle. "... I hate you."