Swords of the Soul

Illusion

"Die... die!!" I knocked them away with my sword. The man his a tree, wincing. "Dammit, Akihiko!!" I ran at them, raising my sword.
He looked up at me. "Please - wait!!"
I slashed him with my sword as his face showed terror. I started laughing. I'd killed him over and over, it seemed. But not of them felt good enough - I didn't get enough of the feeling. Slowly, I stopped laughing and began to breathe heavily, trying to calm myself. I looked up to where Akihiko had been in front of me, onky the flame of a regular player lying there. My eyes widened. What was happening to me?
Standing up, I began to slowly back away.

No...

Images of the murder guilds from SAO filled my mind; all their smiling, snickering faces, looking at me like I was one of them.
Maybe I was.
Grabbing my head, I screamed. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!! I don't know what's wrong with me!!"

You're a Beater.

The flame dissapeared and I screamed loudly, wanting to be forgiven.

Always and forever.

I looked down at my sword on the ground.

Forget, forget - I want to forget.

I closed my eyes tight and shook my head.

No that's wrong. I-

I felt a wave of panic and regret wash through my chest, mixing into dread at a rapid speed.

I want to remember!

There was a doctor outside my room talking to a lady. I know they are trying to be quiet, but my bed is so close to the door it's kinda hard not to hear them. 'Mommy...'
'It's not as bad as it could've been - she has no major injuries, though I think it would be best if she uses a wheelchair for a couple of weeks. Just so we can be completely sure there is no minor damage of weak tissue anywhere or bones we are possibly missing.' A man explained.
I heard a lady crying quietly. 'And... her father? How is he doing?'
There was a long silence in which I stared blankly at my lap. '... he is fine. Only a broken arm and maybe a few ribs, although it's highly unlikely.'
There was a sigh. 'Thank God... I was just... so worried about him and Shirali.' She sniffed.
'I can understand that - you certainly care for him and the girl, Mrs... Kayaba?'
'Mm-mm.' There was a sound of disagreement. 'I'm not Akihiko's wife - I'm a hiredsitter for Shirali, but the two of us get along so well that I'm like her mother.' She explained.
There was a long pause. '... I... see. So then that other woman on Shirali Kayaba's record was her mother?'
'Yes,' the woman said. 'She was very nice from what I've heard.'
'You've never met her?'
'No, she... she's a mysterious woman.'
'Is that so?' The man asked.
'Yes... she loved books and tricky games... she enjoyed Akihiko's teasing mind games every now and again.'
'I see... well, may she rest in peace.'
I closed my eyes tight and thought, what about daddy? Is he okay? I began to shake.
'Oh, and one more thing about Shirali's condition... it's to do with her memory.'
There was another pause with very thick silence. '... what about it?'

"You shouldn't kill innocent players!" Someone yelled before someone stabbed me through the middle.
I slowly looked down, uncovering my eyes to see a large black sword. Looking over my shoulder, a boy's dark eyes met mine. They widened slightly. "Kiri... to?"
He stared. "N-no way... Sh... Shirali?"
There was a loud static screeching before my view went black, passing out.

'You see, when she awoke she had barely any memory of her name or friends. She didn't remember you when we asked about her family. When we came back a few minutes later with water, she seemed to have remembered, and informed us in great detail of your face and voice.'
'What do you mean?'
'She will most likely forget things from time to time. There's a high chance she'll remember them, but there is the slight chance she might not...'
'She... she'll forget everything? And never remember?'
'Possibly. It's a high chance. I'm sorry, but there's not that much we can do about it. Miss Mary, some things just happen.'
There was the sound of muffled crying. 'Oh my God... I... I can't believe it.' The woman sobbed. 'My little girl...!!'
I hiccuped. 'Mommy... I... can't remember you... and daddy... are you okay...?' I was shaking. 'Daddy... please be okay. Please... I need you and I love you. I don't want to lose you like I lost mommy.'

It's all my fault she's dead.