Swords of the Soul

Torn Circles

My body felt heavy as my mother's words floated to me.

'Shirali... Shirali...! It's time to go.'
'I'm coming!' I called, running down the stairs. 'Is daddy ready?'
My mother nodded to me. I was too excited so I didn't look at her. 'He's in the car. Go sit with him. I'll be out in a minute, sweetie,' the woman with a blurred face, who was my mother, walked around the staircase and down the hall.
I ran outside, slipping on my shoes, small feet tapping along the small path through the yard. 'Daddy!' I yelled happily, a tall and skinny man scooping me up into his arms.
'Hello, Shirali!' The man laughed, holding me tight. 'Ready to go?'
I nodded quickly, long hair shaking. 'Yeah! I wanna go see where you wanna take us!'
He smiled. 'Alright. Lets get you set in while we wait for your mother,' he walked to the back seat behind the driver's. He opened the door and set me down. 'You haven't needed a car seat for a while.'
I nodded. 'Soon, I'll be like you one day!'
The man chuckled. 'That would be interesting...'
'I'm coming!' My mother called, hhurrying down the path from our blurry house. 'Ready to go, Shirali...?'

'Shirali.' I heard her voice again. 'Shirali...!' I felt heavier and more aware. "Shirali!! Are you awake?!" I opened my eyes as the voice floated loudly up the stairs.
I saw my deep grey roof of my room, and my heart became heavy with dread. "Yes..." I called back, sitting up. I looked around my room as the sun filtered in through the window behind me. I closed my eyes, thinking about the coming event that today would bring.
"Are you dressed?" The warm voice called.
"Yes." I called back, pushing off my bed. It's November 28, 2024. I've been free from Aincrad for a week.
I've also been free from my father. Although, it was more like freed. I was trapped in this world now, alone. My father was taken from me... and now I could no longer get him back; ever.
I smoothed out my blach dress, using the railing and quietly coming down the stairs. Reaching the bottom and turning left, I walked past them through the foyer, walking to the kitchen. A woman in a white dress with a low and loose brown ponytail had her back to me, looking through her bag. "Sweetie," she said to me, "have you seen the keys anywhere?"
I fell silent. "..." Something caught my eye and I found her keys. I handed them to her.
Her brown eyes looked to me and she smiled. "Thank you, Shirali."
I smiled and nodded. "Sure, mum..."
She stared at me for a moment. "... go get your friends. I have to leave you at school after we're done. But it's your favorite class, so it won't be so bad, alright?" She looked back to her bag, then me. Her face fell. "Oh," she put her left hand on my cheek. "I know they're jerks... but you're a bright, bright kid. You're a tougher child than them."

Child...

I nodded. "Okay, mommy..."
She smiled and sighed. "... you look nice in black. Go wait in the car - I'll be right there," she stood up, returning to her bag. "Go get your friends first. You'll be bored otherwise. So will they."
Doing what she said, I climbed the stairs, feeling the wood through my white socks. I opened the door to my room upon reaching it, walking over to my desk. I picked up a phone with a black case. The black case was decorated with white numbers, looking like coding. I sighed.

Alright... let's go.

I want today to end. Or to never have come. It isn't fair.
No...

It never was fair.

Many people in suits sat among us i  the cathedral. I kept my head low, staring at the black mary janes on my feet. I closed my eyes, feeling people glance at me.
A warm hand grasped my left one. I recognized the touch and instantly felt alright.
"Shirali..." a voice whispered in my ear. "You've been to funerals before. You're doing well... I'm proud."
"Dad..." I mumbled.
A hand was placed on my left shoulder and I was pulled to the right. I opened my eyes, finding myself in a half hug by my mother, Mary. "I know, sweetheart," she whispered. "You miss him. We all do." Her eyes were closed.
"But..." I turned my head, looking to the left. My heart saddened again. "Oh..." there was no one there, the entire rest of the row was empty.
the warm feeling of a hand in mine was gone.

I get it.

I closed my eyes again and clenched my left hand. My mind stayed somewhat present as people at the front talked. Almost all of the people here besides me and Mary just worked with Akihiko. My thoughts tried hard to remember his voice, and just when I thought I'd found a thread to it, one single word from the man up front violently ripped me back to reality, breaking my heart again in the process.
"Suicide." The man said. My eyes snapped open, body feeling cold. Suicide? No way. My father didn't commit suicide. I swear he didn't. He wouldn't just... leave me here. Leave us here - Mary and I. I knew he wouldn't. He couldn't...
Questions filled my rampaging mind for the rest of the ceremony. By the end, we had some time to say our goodbyes. There was an open casket at the front by the podium. I waited for everyone to finish giving business goodbyes and walk away. When people were talking to each other, I decided it was my turn. Only it was going to be a proper goodbye, as best I could get it.
I walked up to the front, staying quiet. I held the phone tightly in my left hand, both arms at my side as I reached the front.
I'd been to many funerals before with Akihiko for business or some parents of freinds, but I never understood what some people said and cried. Staring in at Akihiko, I finally understood.
It didn't look like him.
I finally understood those words seeing my father lying there, lifless. It really didn't look like him.
He was paler than usual, and far more frail.
He was more frail than I had been when I'd awokened in the hospital. I stared at him, not saying a word.
"... strange man, isn't he?" A voice asked from a left a few moments later. I looked up to see a man with slicked back hair and glinting glasses. He sighed, smile fading from his attempt to lift my spirits.
... somehow?
"... not really," I responded. "But in some ways... yes, he is."
The man looked to me, fixing the cuff on the left sleeve of his suit. "So... why are you here? Shouldn't a little girl like you be in school today? Did your parents bring you here?"
I nodded. "Why are you here?"
"Long story," he sighed. "If I tried telling you... you'd lose interest very fast."
"What's your name?" I asked.
This seemed to catch his attention. "Why are you so curious?" I shrugged. "Well alright. I am Sugo Nobuyuki. I am the Progress Chief at RECT." He looked at me. "Not like a kid like you would have any value of knowing that."
"Actually, I do." I said.
"Really? Who are you then? Did your parents work with Akihiko?"
I nodded. "In a way. My name is Shirali Kayaba."
He raised an eyebrow. "So... then this is your father?" I nodded. "I'm sorry for your loss, then."
I sighed. His condolence felt hollow. I shrugged. "I just... expected him to live with me. I died first, after all. I thought he'd be fine."
"You mean," he got my attention. "You were trapped in Sword Art Online? And lived? Incredible. I-"
"Just be quiet." I said, catching him by suprise.
"... I understand. I hope you have a nice day, Miss Kayaba." Sugo walked away.
I walked up to Akihiko and peered in. I reached in and held his right hand in my two small ones.
It didn't feel like him either.
"How are you so sure it's me?" Akihiko said quietly into my right ear. "It could be an imposter. You don't know."
I looked up to see Akihiko at my side, white labcoat on like usual. "... It's not you. I know you wouldn't die. This isn't you. But... it also is. Somehow."
He smiled at me. "Oh Shirali," he put his hand on my head. "... everything will be fine. Now, it's time to go. Go see Mary."
I nodded and squeezed Akihiko's hand, gently laying it on his chest and walking away.
Maybe I should try my Nerv Gear like he said to...?