Swords of the Soul

In Your Arms

I tried to direct my mind away from Akihiko in front of me, eyes wide and beginning to mentally break down.

Guild... my guild. Yes. Think about them. Our pet name is the Hazy Lilacs. Our true name is The Soulful Swords. Hazy Lilacs by night, Soulful Swords by fight - that is our motto. Crap. This isn't working! I should just stop thinking! Stop thinking before-

Akihiko.

No! Shut out all emotion! I feel nothing for this man!!

Akihiko Kayaba.

Shut up!! Stop thinking about Akihiko! Akihiko means NOTHING to me now!! I can't think of him as my father again! I can't love him again! Not after this! I want a different father! Give me a different father, God!! I want-

Heathcliff.

No! He's the same person!! Akihiko and Heathcliff are the same!!

Commander Heathcliff. Akihiko Kayaba.

Brain! Shut the hell up!! They are one in the same, I kno-

Father.

... they... he... they're the same, I know...

My brain finally stopped working.

Akihiko, Heathcliff, and my father... are all the same... at one point, I loved them all. And I st-

"Do you still love me, Shirali?" He asked me quietly, smile gone.
I stared at the man before me. I was shivering, terrified and sad. "A..."
"Akihiko?" He asked, nearly taking a step forward. His hands were in his labcoat's pockets.
I took a minute before shaking my head. "N-no... I... you... you're..." my voice cracked.
Akihiko gave a pained smile. "... you're mother would be proud." I didn't understand. Would Mary be proud I fought this hard? Truly? "You're mother Mako would be proud you made it this far and never gave up."
He rarely used her real name. He usually called her 'your mother' or 'Momoei'. "She... would be?" I whispered.
He nodded. "I know she would..." he closed his eyes and opened them, looking at me. "... because I am."
I stared at him for the next passing moments. Heavy emotion suddenly flooded my chest and tears covered my vision. Like I said-
My walls tumbled down. I was no longer strong.
I took off running at Akihiko. I hit his chest harshly, wrapping my arms around him. I let out a loud cry, not able to keep myself together anymore. "Why?!" I yelled. "Why did you do this?! I hated you for so long!! Then you go and become Heathcliff, and make me love you again!!!!" I screamed.
Akihiko didn't move. I heard him take a deep breath. "I know. I'm sorry. And I gave Kirito the same answer... It's hard to remember my reason why. It was a dream I'd wanted to be a reality, but what for, I'm not sure." He took his hands out of his pockets. "Shirali... you're father and I... I know we don't deserve forgiveness... but could you at least love our memory?" He asked me.
I let out a strangled cry. "Of course!! But you and dad are the same! Don't start sounding like I did!! Trust me, I love you!!" I cried. "Aaahhhh!!" I hiccuped. I'd hated him for two years, but deep down, I still loved him.
After all...
Could you really hate all that you ever had to begin with?
Slowly, Akihiko returned the hug. I could never tell what this man was thinking, yet at the same time, I could. It was a strange connection we had, able to tell what idea the other got from time to time.
"Shirali... I know I don't deserve forgiveness... and you have every right to hate me now... but what happened to my little girl? I mean... I know what happened. But is there any possibility I could have her back?"
There was silence. I sniffled and drew in a shaky breath. "... if... I can remember how."
I felt Akihiko shift. "... Aincrad is over. Kirito defeated me... and the game is over. From up here, the notice wouldn't have reached your ears."
I opened my eyes. "Over?"
"Mm," Akihiko said. "Sword Art Online has come to an end, and all the remaining players are being logged out. They will return to life in the real world. However, for those that were lost..." I shivered at the thought, making Akihiko stop talking. Moments passed, dragging on like a math test.
Every second felt terrifying.
The sound of a tune brought me back to reality.
Akihiko was humming. It was a song he sang to me for years, like a lullaby for us both. Akihiko sighed. He sang some of the words and then fell quiet. The song lingered in both our minds, continuing on as he spoke. "Shirali... I'm going to deactivate your SAO avatar... alright?" I said nothing. There was a slight breeze as Akihiko let go of me. I opened my eyes and looked at him to find I was much shorter. He was staring at me like he'd seen a ghost. I hugged him again, top of my head reaching the bottom of his rib cage. He put his arms around me and sank to the ground, both of us holding on tight. I continued trembling, biting my lip.

Hold on to the lullaby...

I sank to the ground and Akihiko put his arms fully around me, making me feel warm. And loved. I was in his arms again... was that good? I gripped the front of his labcoat. "Daddy... will everything be okay after this? When we die?"
"... yes. It will be fine. However... I just will no longer be physically with you, Shirali."
"What do you mean...?"
"... you will live. I... might not. But, in the chance that I don't survive... there will be something waiting on your Nerv Gear for you. If you ever want to see me... use it. And go there. I will gladly be waiting..." he held my frail body closly against his. "... and always love you while doing so."
Light began to flow from every corner of the sky from around us.

Is this the end...?

I put my arms around Akihiko. "Daddy... I'm sorry..."
"Sorry for what, Shirali?" Akihiko asked quietly.
"For... saying I hated you. I don't, I... I love you so much... saying I hated you was... was a lie." I hiccuped with each word.
I felt him smile painfully, nearly crying. "It's alright," he put his right hand on the back of my head, holding me closer as we sat on the ground. "I love you so much, Shirali. You're the only one I can say that too."
"I love you too, Daddy..." I smiled as best I could.
A tear finally fell down Akihiko's right cheek as the light engulfed us.
My body went numb.
There was a loud ringing in my ears.
The index finger on my right hand twitched briefly.

Eyes opening a crack and squinting at my blurry greeting, I took notice as the air I breathed into my lungs was suddenly colder. Forcing myself to sit up as my vision cleared, I found myself in a dark hospital room. And damn it was cold. Have they ever heard of, oh... I don't know... heat? I looked at my left arm and a shiver ran down my spine as I found an IV taped into my skin. Quickly pulling it out, I relaxed, terrified of needles and such. I undid the clip of my Nerv Gear, and gently lifted it off my head. Long black hair fell into my lap, hints of grey traceable if you looked close enough. My frail body was even more so, being able to nearly see the bones beneath my skin. Carefully moving to the edge of the bed, I pushed off it, landing on the cold floor. Taking a minute to gather myself and take a breath, I pushed myself up.
I took a few steps forward, bare feet tapping loudly against the cold floor. I quickly grabbed onto a bar on the wall, letting go and walking forward. I fell over onto my hands and knees once more. Having taken off all the equipment, I was trying to walk on my own without any support. I winced and my reflection on the floor caught my eye. My eyes were a lighter grey than they had been when I'd entered SAO. My hair was much, much longer. My skin was far more fair, and I had grown slightly taller. However, I was most likely still as tall as I was compared to my father.
He had probably grown too.

Daddy...

Akihiko's smiling face popped into my memory. I quickly pushed myself up and, using the walls for support, hurried out of my room and throughout the hospital halls. If I was alive, Akihiko probably was too. After all, I had died before him, and I was still breathing.
Heart thumping loudly in my chest accompanied by my short breaths, I moved down the halls, looking for a sign with his name, a map of some sort, his labcoat draped neatly over a chair in a room's corner.
I searched for probably ten or fifteen minutes until I found a sign.

Akihiko Kayaba

I quickly pulled myself along the walls, into the room. "Daddy! I'm awake! I'm alive!! You're alive! You're-" I froze.
There, in the room on the bed, was Akihiko Kayaba, my father. But something was wrong.
His eyes were still closed, he looked like he hadn't moved in a while. He also looked like he hadn't woken up yet.
"D... daddy?" I took a step closer. My eyes drifted to the heart monitor on the other side of the bed. The room was well lit with pale light filtering through the white curtains. The monitor wasn't moving. It held an empty, straight green line. No sound, no movement.
I finally realized what was happening.

No... please no... not now...

My breath caught in my throat as I screamed. "Daddy, no!!!"