Apology Denied ==> gXg

Chapter 28

Lauren

"What is wrong with the world!? " I screamed. I saw Karla flinched when I did that but I wasn't caring. I need to get out of here before I lose it.

"S...... Sorry" she squeaked. That's it. I lose my self control.

"You're sorry!?" I exclaimed. "For what!?" Tititigan ko sya ng masama pero nakayuko lang sya habang tinatakpan nya yung tenga nya na parang ayaw nyang marinig yung mga sasabihin.

"I'm s-s-sorr-"

"You're sorry! Tapos ano!? kapag okay na tayo ulit, gagaguhin mo nanaman ako? Ganun ba!? Ha!"

She bolt down, trying to block my voice. I know she's scared but I can help myself anymore. I want all the pain to get out of my being. It's overflowing and I don't think I can hold it back any longer. I need to let it out.

"I'm sor-"

"Stop! Stop saying sorry because I know you're not! I've had enough Karla!"

I heard her whimper on my knee. Yes, she's facing my knees. But she's not clinging. Umiiyak sya pero wala akong pakealam. Masyado na sigurong tumigas yung puso ko. Masyado ng nasaktan kaya namanhid na. Hindi na ako naapektuhan ng nakikita ko. Wala na akong maramdamang awa para sa kanya.

"Diba tama naman ako!? Pag magkaayos na ulit tayo, sisirain mo ulit ako!? Diba!? " Sigaw ko. Kahit masakit na lalamunan ko sasasigaw, hindi ko parin maitigil na sumigaw. "Ganyan naman kayo e. Parepareho kayo, you will make me smile and then when I'm happy enough you will drag me down in the worst way you can"

"Lau......ren plea....se s...top" she pleaded.

"Don't act like your the victim here Karla. We all know I'M the one in the bottom! I suffered more than anybody else! I suffered from the people you made to hate me! You know that!? Hindi mo alam ang pakiramdam ng naapi dahil hindi ka nila tanggap. Dahil naiiba ka, dahil hindi ka umayon sa sistema ng buhay nila!" I exclaimed. I wanted to stop though. But it's like my mouth has it's own brain.

"At yung nangyari sayo! Karma yan Karla! Ang bilis no!?" I said, she look at me, straight in the eye. I saw how much pain my words got trough her All the sanity came to me. I saw the way how hurt she looked. I wanted to apologize but I can't . I wanted to relax my forehead pero nakakunot parin sya.

She sobbed vigorously. I regret everything I said. I know, hindi ko dapat sinabi yun. Pero hindi ko na napigilan yung sarili ko.

"My......I....... f-f-ather. I didn't....mean to" she sobbed. Father what? Hindi ko sya maintindihan. Pero I know she can't speak properly. Her inability to talk must've been triggered, I shook my head, not wanting to make this argument longer. The fact that I know It wasn't going to end well.

"Pakiusap, umalis ka na" tinakpan ko ng kamay ko yung mukha ko. Ayokong makita ulit yung mukha ni Karla, the more I look at her the more I feel like a stupid human.

"Karla, please leave" I stated in the calmest way possible. She look at me as if checking if I was calm and not going to burst out again before standing up. Takot, yung lang ang nakita ko na nakaukit sa mukha nya.

Sinubukan nyang magsalita pero walang lumabas na kahit anong tunog sa bibig nya. Tumakbo sya palagpas sa kin, kitang kita ko yung mga luha nya na dinadala ng hangin habang tumatakbo sya. Cliché I know.

I heaved a sigh, before walking to our front door not before I stepped on something.

Flashdrive?

Kay Karla siguro to. Tsss, bwisit! Bwisit talaga. Pinulot ko yung flashdrive bago pumasok ng bafay, dirediretso sa kwarto. I lay on my bed. This day couldn't get any worse.