Holding on to What is Left {Editing as of 03/24/15}

Chapter Five

_

I didn't know I had fallen asleep until I hear a knock on the door. Jordan walks in with his keys In one hand.

"Hey, I'm goona' go out to eat, want to come? And maybe... See a movie afterwards?"

"Sure, let me just get some shoes on and a long sleeved shirt!"

Even though it is like 70 degrees out, I'm going to wear a long sleeved shirt because I don't want anyone to see my arms.

"Need some help..? Changing the pads on your arms? I know it must be tough, you know, looking at them..." Jordan shifts his weight. He seems to feel awkward mentioning them.

"Sure, if you don't mind seeing them..." I trail off.

He follows me into the hallway bathroom, and I hold my forearm out to him.

"Just be easy, okay?" I look up at him.

"I will be, I won't ever hurt you." He says softly.

Did he just say that? So adorable...

Jordan peels off the tape holding the pads on, and slowly takes off the padding. He looks at my cut extending from my wrist to where my arm bends.

"This must really hurt..." He says while grabbing some more cotton to put on my arm. He puts his left hand on mine, and uses his right hand to put the wrap on. His thumb makes small circles on the back of my hand.

I feel tons of butterflies in my belly when he is near me, but when he is touching me I feel a whole zoo in my stomach! His hands are so soft... I just want to grab his hand and lace my fingers with his-

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Jordan asks. He looks deep into my eyes, as if he will find the answer there.

"Oh, just about... Well... You I guess... I doesn't matter." Awkwardness is literally filling my chest, why did I say that? I'm so stupid!

"Haha it kinda does, in a good or bad way?" He finishes taping up my arm and smiles at me.

"Good way, you're just so... Caring. I've never had anyone care for me like this before, not even my sister."

"Where is your sister now?"

I feel tears starting to well up into my eyes. "She... Killed herself a few years back. Justice couldn't stand the pain of waking up in the morning without parents."

Jordan looks at me with sympathy. Oh God... I'm so sorry... Sorry for bringing it up... I didn't mean to!"

I blink my eyes to make the tears go away. I put on the best smile I could, and say, "Don't worry about it, you needed to know anyways. Any questions you have for me, don't hold back. Okay?"

I take such a huge daring move, and hold his hand. I intertwine my fingers with his, and he squeezes my hand softly.

"Okay. I'm going to go wait in the kitchen, just tell me when you're ready to go!"

I let go of his hand, and watch him walk out of the bathroom.

Holy crap. The zoo in my stomach just went on a huge rampage and is stampeding around my belly.

Should I be getting so attached to a guy I have known for only like 4 days? Is this what it feels like to like someone?

I guess so.

_

After Jordan and I get done eating at Pizza Hut, we start to head to the movie theatre. It's about a 15-20 minute drive, so he turns up the radio.