Holding on to What is Left {Editing as of 03/24/15}

Keep Fearing My Friend

They say that the time you stay in a hospital is a living hell, but I kinda like it.

You get air conditioning, food anytime you want (sorta), watch television, have people visit you (doctors and Jordan), wifi, and also you can just sit around all day.

Jordan brought me my laptop so I can play minecraft, watch my youtubers, and keep up with the social media.

It's July 3rd, the day before Independence Day. I've been in the hospital for almost a full week, and my birthday is in almost a month. Jordan is going to wheel chair me out to the balcony of the hospital so i can watch the fireworks.

Also, next week Jordan is planning on doing a face reveal to his fans, since PAX is in August. I would be excited, but I see his beautiful face every day.

"Hey Kitty, I'm going to go get us some lunch, want something?"

I smile. He knows exactly what I want.

"Ice cream!"

I finally have the strength to talk normally, but if I put too much pressure out talking, pain ripples through my stomach.

Jordan laughs and leaves the room.

I love him so much.

I reach over beside my bed to the counter to grab the remote.

I turn on the television, but its all static. Then I see it. The black mist once again, but this time it's surrounding someone. My mom.

"Stop!" I yell.

The black mist turns its head towards me and smiles broadly. My mom looks at me too, and she says:

"Come home, baby. We are ready and waiting for you. Jordan won't miss you, he has another girl who wants him. We want you Katie honey, he doesn't."

"No! Stop! You're lying! Just leave me alone and let me live a normal life already!"

The black mist circles my mom a couple times, and then exits the television towards me. He puts his sharp finger on my thigh.

"Your life will never be normal again Katie, can't you see that? Come home."

Suddenly Jordan walks in and the black mist drifts towards him.

"Stop!"

The mist engulfs Jordan and presses his pointy finger to Jordan's arm. He drags it along his skin, creating a deep gash.

"Ouch! What the he-"

Jordan looks down and sees the gash, but he doesn't see the mist.

I stare wide eyes at Jordan, and he looks back at me. I can see complete confusion in his eyes.

"What...? I'll call a doctor in here to look at this..."

The black mist fades away, but before he can, he says:

"Keep fearing, my friend."

What does it mean?

I press the button by my bed to call a nurse into my room to check out his arm.

She walks in quickly.

"What's wrong?" She looks at Jordan's arm, and gasps loudly. "Oh.. I'll go get a doctor to come in here and stitch that up for you."

She runs out of the room, and comes back in with a doctor.

"Wow. Let me stop the bleeding and seal that up for you. What happened?" The doctor says, leading Jordan into the bathroom. He carries the small box kit of alcohol, string stuff, a needle, medical tape, and cotton pads.

While Jordan walks into the bathroom, he leaves a small trail of blood behind him.

"I really have no idea. Seriously." He says.

While they are in the bathroom, I start to try to think what the mist meant by "keep fearing, my friend."

The black mist is stronger when fear is present.

It feeds off of fear.

When the black mist is around, I need to stay strong. Try not to let it get to me.

I shake off any fearful thoughts, and smile when Jordan walks out of the bathroom.

"Better?" I say.

"Considering I don't have a broken leg, arm, concussion and cut spreading across my stomach, doing pretty good."

I laugh softly, and he comes over and sits on the edge of my bed. His arm is wrapped with tons of Cotten and tape.

He lies down beside me, careful not to hurt my injuries. I turn slowly towards him and put my head on his shoulder.

"I don't know what I would do without you, babe."

I geekily laugh, and say, "Ditto."

I miss him being able to hold me, to wrap me close in his arms... This all really sucks.

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