Holding on to What is Left {Editing as of 03/24/15}

Chapter Nine

My mom. She's Alive.

I run across the room and pick up my blue iPhone, and dial the hospitals number.

The phone rings, and a nurse picks up.

"Hello?" I say in a shaky voice. "You have an amnesia patient by the name of Leonor Bowett, and I would like to schedule a time to meet her."

"I would like to let you see her, but only family members are allowed to meet with her."

I sigh. "I'm her daughter."

"Okay. How about tomorrow afternoon around 3:00?"

A bit of joy is released in my voice. "Sure!"

"Okay, just come by the front counter tomorrow. What is your name?"

"Katie Bowett."

"Thanks. See you tomorrow!"

I hang up the phone, and sit down in my chair.

I still can't believe it! My mom's alive! ALIVE! But what will I say when I see her? What will I do? Will I say:

"Hey mom, I'm your daughter."

Or

"Hi, it's me, Katie."

I don't know! I'm so nervous, I'm shaking!

But wait.

My sister killed herself thinking they were both dead.

But my mom isn't.

I feel some bit of anger escape from inside me, but I stop.

Justice didn't know, so now I have to face the fact that I have to tell my mom that Justice is dead!

How will she react?

I start to cry, and bundle myself into a ball.

I would be upset if someone told me my daughter killed herself. But imagine my mom's position, she is going to be depressed.

Should I even go tomorrow? Should I even tell her? What do I do?!

I need to tell Jordan. I need someone to talk to, and he is all I have.

I pick my phone back up and call Jordan.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jordan, I really need to talk to you. Like right now."

"I'm kind-of in the middle if recording with TYBZI and H, can it wait?"

I wipe a tear off of my face.

"Kat, are you okay?"

"It can wait. Just hurry. Please?"

"I will. I'll come over in a bit!"

I hang up the phone before he can say anything else. I go to the bathroom and tie my hair up into a messy bun. I wipe off the mascara that has been spread across my cheeks.

I wish Justice was here.

I look down at my forearms, and the cuts are no longer there. Only long, ugly scars.

What will mom say when she sees this?

She won't. I'll wear a hoodie again tomorrow.

People wonder why I never dress up and be girly. This is the reason.

I go into my room and lay down on my bed. I put Kid Cudi on blast and go to my closet. I take my pants off and throw on an oversized t-shirt, long enough to go halfway across my thighs.

I jump into bed, and lay sprawled out.

My thoughts are jumbled up, and I feel so emotional. If only Justice new my mom was here..

No! No more! Don't think about it. Just close your eyes and listen to the music.

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I wake up to Jordan sitting on the side of my bed, stroking my hair.

"Hey, babe. You okay?"

I sit up and cover myself with the blankets.

"They found my mom."

He looks at me with sympathy in his blue-green eyes.

"Her... Body?"

I shift my weight under the covers.

"Yes. Except she's alive."

His eyes get big, and then he squints them at me suspiciously.

"What do you mean Kat?"

So I told him about what I saw on the news, and also about my phone call to the nurse.

"So you're going to go see her tomorrow? Are you... Nervous?"

"Yeah. Very nervous. And happy. And sad. And angry. But mostly happy I guess."

"Awww!"

He pulls me into his arms, and I wrap my arm around his back.

"Guess what?" He says.

"What?"

"I told Graser, Dul, Tomahawk, and H that I have a girlfriend!" Jordan says with a cheeky smile.

I lean into him a bit more.

"Awe, really? What did they say?"

"They freaked out. Literally. They were telling me congrats, Graser was making fun of me (playfully), Tomahawk was asking me who you were, and then you called. So I finished talking to them and came right over!"

"Thanks, Jordan!"

I get closer to him a kiss him.

He puts my bangs behind my ear, and pulls away. He looks me in the eye and says "I love you."

I smile big like a geek and probably blush.

"I love you too."

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