relapse (remington leith)

wine

wine (deep red) - associated with passion.
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I think I cried in the shower for a while.

I drank my wine in the shower, and sang along to Remmys voice as I cried. I hoped with all my heart that boy was okay- he should never have to deal with my issues.
I stepped out and wrapped my body in a towel.
I sang "Ma Cherie" and walked into the next room with my wine glass in hand.
I looked up to see Remington sitting on the counter.
He cocked his head to the side when he saw me.
I blinked a few times to make sure it was real.
I put my glass down beside me and walked up to him slowly.
Once I was close enough to smell his cologne I shakily placed my hands on his warm chest, was he really here? My hands touched the fabric of his dark t-shirt. He smiled down at me.
He was okay.

I didn't hesitate in wrapping my still slightly wet arms around him. I dug my nails into his shirt. He wrapped his arms around me. My hair dampening his shirt.
I gripped onto him like it was the last thing I'd ever do. "I'm so so sorry." I whispered shakily.
"Shh, it's okay.. Sorry for what??" He pet my hair.
I took in a deep stuttered breath. "You don't need to be around me anymore, I-I-I don't want you to have to deal with me and-and all my problems, you don't have t-t-to see me a-again and-"
"Diana, it's okay." His voice was calm, it made me calm.
He slid off the counter and stood before me, his eyes looked into both of mine and he looked into my bathroom to hear "Ma Cherie" I felt my face heat up, he glanced behind him at the Peanut butter, tortillas and wine.
I looked down, not wanting him to see my embarrassed blush.
I could tell he was smirking, his eyebrows raised.
He ran a warm hand up my arm, his own filled with tattoos.
"Thank you." I said.
"For what, love?" He asked me, playing dumb. I shot him a look.
"For Jones" I said, not really wanting to know what happened. "Don't know what you're talking about darlin." He smiled down at me.
I wanted to be happy with that answer, but I wasn't.
I glared at him, and he looked a bit shocked.
"Okay! okay! You're welcome.." he put his hands up in defence. I smiled wide knowing I scared an answer out of him.
His eyebrow shot up. "You broke his nose." He smirked.
My face dropped. "What?"
"Whatever happened between you two, it resulted in a broken nose, and I can tell it definitely wasn't your mom, who was totally on board with what I did by the way." He smiled.
"I-I" I stumbled my words, still in shock that he stood before me. "Your mom is great, but damn you can pack a hell of a punch." He twirled a piece of my wet hair.
I smiled wide knowing I affected Jones and my mother was okay.
"What did you do?" I asked trying to hide the fear in my voice, Remington knew I was afraid and he spoke softly. "Nothing you need to worry about." A light smile coming to his perfect pink lips.
"I believe this is my business and I deserve to know." I hardened my facial expression.
He raised an eyebrow like he thought it was cute. "Speaking of business... I believe we have some that is unfinished." His eyes darkened in his last words, a smirk on his face. Before he left two days ago, he kissed me, or should I say- I kissed him. I almost forgot all about it because of how worried I was.
He looked me up and down and I felt my face get hot, but he sighed. "Go get dressed." There was a sad undertone is his voice. He didn't want me to, but he was being polite.
He turned around and I left to do as told.

I put on my black leggings and a loose navy blue t-shirt, that always seemed to slip off my shoulder. I walked back out to see him.
"You could've gotten hurt." I said.
He jumped a little at the sound of my voice, he came over to me and grabbed my hands.
"But I didn't." He bargained.
"That's not good enough Remmy. You don't need to deal with my problems like that, you deserve to be happy and you can do that without me-"
"That's just it, I am happy, I want to help you.."
He cut me off and swung out interlocked hands back and forth.
"All I do is ruin things, it's all I'm good at.. I don't want to add you to that list." I looked down, but he spoke up again.
"It would be an honour to be ruined by you, your highness." I could hear his smile. I couldn't help but feel one try to spread on my face.
I saw him peek his head down to see if I was smiling or not.
His raised eyebrows and smile got the best of me and the contagious grin was spread onto my face.
"There she is!" He laughed, tilting my chin up with his fingers.
"You don't ruin things Diana, everything that I did: I did for you, none of this is your fault.. you're perfect in every way, I am not worthy of that." I hugged him to me, not wanting him to see the tears on my face.

"Too Many People" began playing. He traced circles onto my back as he swayed us back and forth gently.
"Will I be fine?
I never ever know.
No one ever ever knows.
Have I lost my mind?"
We swayed to the music as Remington sang the lyrics quietly. I felt my heart rate steady and I was peaceful.
"Tell me I'll be fine,
Tell me sweet sweet lies.
Cause I'm dead inside,
Cause I'm dead inside tonight."
I followed up the lyrics, singing quietly, into his shoulder. Remington tensed and pulled away slightly to look at me. He had pure shock written all over his face. "You- you know the w-words?" He sounded like he wanted to cry a little. I blushed madly and nodded, "you have a beautiful voice Diana.."
I shook my head no and cast my eyes downward.

He put his fingertips under my chin and looked me in the eye. I felt myself on the verge of tears, no one has ever cared for me this much, and I think he knew that. He leaned towards me and placed his lips on mine. I felt like puddy in his hands, but I placed my hands around his neck for stability and kissed him back passionately.
I wanted to pinch myself to see if this was real, he hugged me to him.
"I won't let anybody hurt you ever again." His voice was low, almost angry sounding.
I let out a quiet choked sob, and gripped his back. I felt so safe, yet so vulnerable.. I kissed his lips again and again. He pushed me up against the wall and kissed my neck, I let out small moans.
He ran his hands up, then down my sides, grabbing my waist. He was gentle and careful, but I stopped him and placed a soft hand on his warm chest. He smiled at me.
"Are you okay?" He asked me. He waited patiently for my answer, he pushed my hair behind my ear.
"You deserve more." I spoke honestly, quietly.
"You deserve so much more, you shouldn't have to settle for me -someone who is too broken and worthless to be with someone like you, you're so high above me.. I don't-"
He pressed a finger to my lips. "No." His voice cut through the air.
"No no no." He cupped my face.
"You deserve better than me, you are so beautiful and perfect in every way, and I don't care how long it takes me: I will make sure you see it, believe it.. When I said I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, I meant it.. You have this SO backwards, you could get anyone you wanted.. anyone!.. Don't doubt yourself Dee, you are just so- so perfect." He seemed upset like he couldn't believe I said the words that I did, and that I couldn't see what he did.

I blinked back tears, my mouth open ever slightly in pure shock. He kissed me again, holding my face to his, I didn't hesitate in kissing back. I held his hands on mine.
"You should get some sleep." He whispered, leaning his forehead on mine.
I just looked up at him, his big dark brown eyes, I could look at them forever.

In that moment I knew I was completely and utterly entranced with you, Remington..

You could break me so easily. But I don't even think I would mind..

He walked me into my room and sat on the edge of my bed.
"I love you okay?" He said. "I love you." I replied. In the dark of my room I could still see him smile. I laid under the covers and he stood up. But I held his hand still. His arm was pulled back to me. He squeezed my hand lightly and lifted it up and placed a kiss upon it.
"I'll see you later." He whispered, I could hear him smile.
I felt my eyes get heavy, I nodded.
He left but not before my eyes closed.
My eyes stung from being open so long, from crying, from loosing sleep.

From being happy.

All because of him.