Beyond Repair

1. Beyond Repair

|Clary POV|

They told me he'd be in the farthest corner from the entrance. I had been looking for him all night, and hadn't been able to find him. Jace had been disappearing a lot lately, with muttered explanations of where he he had been when he came back. I remember pushing past many people in the crowded club. I guess they weren't all people though. There were fairies, werewolves, and vampires alike.

I finally saw a glimpse of the top of his head. I saw his hair first. His golden hair that stuck out so well amongst the darkness of the room. I pushed past a few more people, and started speaking to Jace before I could completely see him.

"Damn it, Jace, can't you just-" I stopped when the person who had been blocking me complete sight of him moved. I saw something that ruined everything. Every worried feeling for him disappearing evaporated from me, and was replaced by extreme shock. It felt like my heart had dropped right out of my chest and had landed on the floor of the deafeningly loud club. There was Jace, kissing a blonde so hard I thought maybe her face might fall off. I'd like to say that it was just her kissing him, and that he had been forced into kissing this girl, but I knew better than to get my hopes up like that.

Jace had his hand up on the wall next to the girl's head, and the other wrapped around her curvy waist. I wanted to throw up at the sight. Jace told me he loved me. After all we've been through, he chose to mess everything up. He had to ruin everything! The blonde must've noticed me staring, because she pulled away from Jace suddenly.

"Um, can I help you?"

I remember shaking my head a little, stumbling backwards, and then saying shakily, "No. No. I'm fine. I was fine before I saw this, anyway."

The minute I had spoken Jace's head had shot up from his position of kissing the girl's neck. He turned his head slowly, and I remember the chant going on in my head. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"By the angel. Clary. No. I'm sorry," he said, a tortured look on his face.

I couldn't do it. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at him. Jace. The boy who was supposed to love me. The boy who promised he would never hurt me. I shake my head, and then turn away.

I ran. I could hear Jace running behind me, but I didn't stop. He was faster than me, so he caught up pretty quickly.

"Clary! Stop!"

I turn around sharply, and my red hair whips around, as tears stream down my face. I'm sure I looked terrible, but what the hell. I felt terrible.

"What, Jace? Are you going to tell me that it's not a big deal? Or that it's just a misunderstanding? Or maybe, wait, this is a good one, YOU'RE SORRY!" I paused to take a breath, as Jace continued to give me the tortured look. "Well guess what, JACE. I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry that you think that an apology is going to make this all better!"

"Clary-"

"Do NOT 'Clary' me! How could you? You ruined everything! Didn't you ever stop to think that maybe it would hurt me when I found out? No. Hurt isn't a strong enough word. I think 'feel like I'm dying inside' is a little more accurate." I turned back around and started to walk away, but stopped abruptly when Jace caught my wrist, and turned me back around.

"WHAT? Dot you understand that nothing you say or do will make me feel better? That you have broken me beyond repair? Because guess what, Jace. You have. And I will never, EVER trust you again. I don't even know how I'm going to go near you." I laughed a sarcastic laugh when I remembered the Lightwoods, and what Alec would think when Jace told them what he did to me. And Izzy. My very first friend who was a girl. Now my best friend. I knew that she'd kill Jace over this.

"What are you laughing about?" Jace asked.

"Oh. Don't talk to me like nothing's happened, Jace Herondale," I said, furious.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

I glared at him, and then answered his original question. "I was just thinking about how much it's going to suck for you when you tell the Lightwoods. Izzy is going to want to kill you for screwing this up."

When I said this I saw the guilty look on Jace's face, and knew immediately that he hadn't planned on telling them.

"Wow. That's just sick. Cheat on your girlfriend, and then not tell anyone, not even your very best friends, why you broke up. You disgust me. Goodbye, Jace."

"Wait! Clary!"

I didn't turn back around. I felt the tears dripping down my face, as I walked away. I wasn't going to let that bastard get the best of me. I was not weak.

That was the last time I saw Jace Herondale. Until today.