Beyond Repair

6. Awkward Conversations

|Jace POV|

"I heard from Magnus that there's..." Alec says, continuing to speak to me, even though I stopped paying attention the minute she walked in the room with Izzy. She had sat down right in between her brother and Simon, and she laughs and smiles and talks to everyone. Everyone except for me. She doesn't say a single word to me.

"So. Clary, are you going to introduce us formally to your friends, or do we have to guess their names?" Simon says, nudging Clary in the arm.

"Oh. Right. Um, guys, this is Melissa and Josh. And you all know Sebastian, right?" Clary says.

"Hey, Melissa and Josh. I'm sorry I didn't formally meet you before!" Izzy say.

"It's okay," Melissa says, smiling. "You're Izzy right? I've heard a lot about you from Clary."

Izzy laughs and then says, "Good things, I hope!"

"Of course! What else would she tell me?"

"Right. I'm supposed to introduce you guys to them," Clary says, looking first at Josh and Melissa, and then to my Lightwood family.

"Okay." Clary looks confident, and then goes right around the table, saying the names of everyone sitting down. "This is Simon, Isabelle, Alec-" She pauses before saying my name, and coughs a little. "-Jace, Maia, Magnus, and Jordan."

"Hi, Simon, Izzy, Jace..." Josh pauses, looking embarrassed. "Damn. I've forgotten some of your names."

We all laugh, and the people with the forgotten names quickly reintroduce themselves. Clary laughs and smiles with all of them. Since she's come back, it's been like watching a movie. She's so close, and I see everything she does, but I can't touch her. It's like she's not even really there.

Suddenly I can't take it anymore. I've got to get out of here. I push my chair back, and hear the sound of the wood dragging across the hardwood floor. I see sudden movement, and find Clary watching me as I walk out of the room. No one notices but her. I walk away from the table quietly, feeling Clary staring at my back as I slip out the door.

|Clary POV|

I watch Jace as he slips out of the room unnoticed. I wouldn't have seen him if I hadn't felt his eyes on me all night. When he sees that I caught him trying to leave, I try to act as if I never noticed, but our eyes are locked. I am the key; Jace is the lock. We are a team. Wait. What? Get it together, Fray! You DO NOT want Jace. But... maybe I do? No. I don't. I can't. That's not an option. Even so, my heart aches every time I see him.

He is a part of me.

At this realization, I lean over and whisper to Sebastian. "I'll be right back."

Sebastian looks over at me, a surprised look on his face. "Where're you going?"

I give him a look, and say, "Don't worry about me. It'll be quick. Okay?"

"Okay..."

I push my chair back, and squeeze Sebastian's shoulder to let him know I'll be fine as I stand up. Simon notices me get up, but doesn't say a word. I shake my head a little, astonished that I've got such an amazing best friend.

As I walk past the elevator doors, I pause at the coat hanger, when I see that Jace's coat is missing. He must be outside. I quickly slip on my jacket, and push the button to open the elevator. When it opens I step in, as my head spins with all the thoughts and questions I've kept locked up for so long. The thoughts and questions I'd say to Jace.

I open the front door, and shiver at the blast of cold air. After living in Florida for a while, it seemed way colder here than it did four years ago.

I walk along the short sidewalk, tucking my hair behind my ear as the wind blows it in my face. I look up, and I see him.

"Jace?"

|Jace POV|

I hear her voice say my name, but don't look up. I know I must be dreaming. For the last four years I've been imagining she's here, and we're still talking. I kick at a rock on the sidewalk, and watch as it narrowly misses a car passing by.

"Jace!"

Less of a question this time. More impatient. It sounds.... so real. Too real... I lift my head, and see her. Her red hair blowing in her face with the wind, her arms wrapped around herself tightly as an attempt to keep herself warm.

"Clary," I croak.

"Hey," she mutters, looking down. She seems to be regretting coming out to talk to me.

We stand there for a minute, avoiding each other's eyes. I decide to be brave and look up her, and see that she had look up at the exact same second as me. I laugh quietly, and Clary smiles a little.

"So..." I say, and look back down.

"So," Clary replies.

I look at her, confused. "You came out here to talk to me," I mutter, saying it as a question.

"Yeah. I guess I did. Honestly, I don't know why I came out here," Clary says. She shakes her head a little, and then continues. "I mean, I saw you leave, and I decided to see where you were going. That's all."

I gaze at her intently, then say, "You're lying to me, Clary. I've known you for a long time. I know when you're keeping something from me."

She gives me a look, and then says, "A. You haven't known me for that long. And B. You're right. I just have one question."

I raise an eyebrow, and suddenly start to feel like my old self again. I just needed her. That's all it took. "Yes, Miss Fairchild?"

Clary rolls her eyes, and then says, "I want to know want to know why you did it. Why did you cheat?"